Old fathers raising a child in the Philippines

[nor cal mike]

Been trying to catch up after my absence from the forum and I was sure glad to find this topic. After almost 20 years of planning and procrastination I am finally in the final phase of my permanent move to the P.I. We have spent a few months a year there over the past 15 years. Usually 3 to 4 months at a time. 

I have been married to my wonderful wife for 17 years and we have 2 sons ages 10 years and 17 months. I was happy to read all the comments about education. My 10 year old always attends school while we are there. He has attended both public and private school but I don’t think I can make a fair assessment of educational qualities from those short visits, so having the benefit of others experiences offers a lot of insight which I’m sure will prove helpful. We live in Butuan City and have a couple of highly recommended private schools as well as a very good university. My 10 year old does well in school now and I’m hopeful that will continue in P.I. 

One more thing I will mention for the benefit of all you “old” dads. I am 75 and enjoying raising my boys immensely and would not hesitate to repeat these last 20 years. I would love to hear other “old dad” experiences along with any educational tips or advice.

Mike

 

Edited January 27, 2019 by Old55
Great post for a new topic.

[Old55]

I'm in my mid 60's here in the States with two boys at home age 11 and 16. I don't have the energy of a younger man but do enjoy my son's.

My wife's sister had a baby girl we care for typically two days a week. I'm very attached to her. We truly love having a little girl around the house now.

I can understand men over 70's wanting to have a new family. On the other hand I do have mixed feeling when I see a truly elderly man at Ayala mall with his arm around a 20 year old girl. I know better to judge others but...

[RubberChicken]

I think the good guys of an older age want to give their child the biggest headstart with the time they have. You really can’t ask for more then that in life. When you see the horrendous family planning here and how a lot of those poor Filipino children run wild and dirty in the streets seeing a reasponsible elderly father with well cared for children is a lovely thing. 

[nor cal mike]

30 minutes ago, Old55 said:

I'm in my mid 60's here in the States with two boys at home age 11 and 16. I don't have the energy of a younger man but do enjoy my son's.

My wife's sister had a baby girl we care for typically two days a week. I'm very attached to her. We truly love having a little girl around the house now.

I can understand men over 70's wanting to have a new family. On the other hand I do have mixed feeling when I see a truly elderly man at Ayala mall with his arm around a 20 year old girl. I know better to judge others but...

I’m with you Dave, I don’t have nearly the energy of a youngster, but I sure enjoy my son’s energy. While I’m sure it doesn’t work for a everyone, when it does it’s great. When my wife and I married, I already had adult children and had told my wife I was to old to have children. She accepted this but longed for a child of her own. After some 7 or 8 years of marriage and seeing first hand what a wonderful and special lady I married and me growing up as an orphan I decided that some lucky kid should have her for a mom. A decision that has brought so much happiness to our lives. I remember with much fondness her first words after the birth of our oldest son. “ Dear, now I am complete”. My wife is some 34 years my junior. The age difference has never, I repeat NEVER been an issue. 

In case you can’t tell my life with my Filipino wife and my Fil-Am sons has been like a fairy tale.

I am truly blessed,

Mike

 

 

[graham59]

At 67, I don't really see myself as 'old' yet.  

I have a son aged 25 years, who I love dearly,  from my first marriage to a Filipina (plus her other two children,  whom I raised and brought to the UK).

Now retired to the Phils, I also have a 3 year-old son from my current marriage, who is a little terror, but certainly (along with his mum) , keeps me alive and busy.  

I think the education system in the Phils , both public and private, is fine up to perhaps junior high school level IF you intend for your child to stay in the Phils, but I would rather give him/her the opportunity to study in a first world country once they reach senior high school level, followed by (hopefully) entry to a good university there too.  This is how it has worked out for my older children, who are all now very successful in their chosen professions.

[Jake]

2 hours ago, nor cal mike said:

Been trying to catch up after my absence from the forum and I was sure glad to find this topic.

I have been married to my wonderful wife for 17 years and we have 2 sons ages 10 years and 17 months.

Mike

Please accept my advance apologies Mike if I sidetrack your OP.......but this is one of the important landmarks in my life: a brief intro of you and your family. 

A few years ago, Judy and I made a road trip up through northern CA, where we had the extreme pleasure of meeting one of the most extraordinary person I have ever met.  Because I became lost, he comes roaring down his private mountain road on his dusty 4 wheel ATV, waving me to follow his dust trail up the mountain.   Upon arrival and overlooking HWY 101,  I was in shock and awe, the tranquil beauty of deep forest with green meadows viewed from his large patio deck.  Tall and barrel chested, Mike gives me one of those great big, bear hugs.....more like Sasquatch, if you ask me....he, he.  And then Judy and I instantly fell in love with the rest of his family.  We felt the mutual warmth and immediately became close friends, like long lost brothers in arms.  His son age 5 or 6 at the time, is simply a child prodigy, seriously.  Mark my words......the makings of a rock star in a NASA space suit.   A testimony of great parenting.  

Based on my personal experiences, here is just one aspect of selecting your future residence that is ideally a few minutes walking distance to a nearby school (public or private elementary, high school or college) -- the logistics of dropping off and picking up can be a nightmare sometimes.  Are you willing or refuse to drive?  Do you trust anyone else?  Even though the campus maybe walking distance, is it waist high brown water level during the monsoon season?  

What would be your physical and mental tolerance level as you face these challenges?  Personally, I don't know if I could handle it.  At my age and impatience, I must rely on someone else. 

Respectfully Jake 

 

 

[nor cal mike]

48 minutes ago, Jake said:

Please accept my advance apologies Mike if I sidetrack your OP.......but this is one of the important landmarks in my life: a brief intro of you and your family. 

A few years ago, Judy and I made a road trip up through northern CA, where we had the extreme pleasure of meeting one of the most extraordinary person I have ever met.  Because I became lost, he comes roaring down his private mountain road on his dusty 4 wheel ATV, waving me to follow his dust trail up the mountain.   Upon arrival and overlooking HWY 101,  I was in shock and awe, the tranquil beauty of deep forest with green meadows viewed from his large patio deck.  Tall and barrel chested, Mike gives me one of those great big, bear hugs.....more like Sasquatch, if you ask me....he, he.  And then Judy and I instantly fell in love with the rest of his family.  We felt the mutual warmth and immediately became close friends, like long lost brothers in arms.  His son age 5 or 6 at the time, is simply a child prodigy, seriously.  Mark my words......the makings of a rock star in a NASA space suit.   A testimony of great parenting.  

Based on my personal experiences, here is just one aspect of selecting your future residence that is ideally a few minutes walking distance to a nearby school (public or private elementary, high school or college) -- the logistics of dropping off and picking up can be a nightmare sometimes.  Are you willing or refuse to drive?  Do you trust anyone else?  Even though the campus maybe walking distance, is it waist high brown water level during the monsoon season?  

What would be your physical and mental tolerance level as you face these challenges?  Personally, I don't know if I could handle it.  At my age and impatience, I must rely on someone else. 

Respectfully Jake 

 

 

Jake, thanks for the kind words and I sure hope we see you and Judy soon. You have raised some good points. I do have concerns about health care because of my age and I already have medical services arranged. Another important thing is To keep Matt motivated and headed in the right direction. 

[Reboot]

7 hours ago, nor cal mike said:

I’m with you Dave, I don’t have nearly the energy of a youngster, but I sure enjoy my son’s energy. While I’m sure it doesn’t work for a everyone, when it does it’s great. When my wife and I married, I already had adult children and had told my wife I was to old to have children. She accepted this but longed for a child of her own. After some 7 or 8 years of marriage and seeing first hand what a wonderful and special lady I married and me growing up as an orphan I decided that some lucky kid should have her for a mom. A decision that has brought so much happiness to our lives. I remember with much fondness her first words after the birth of our oldest son. “ Dear, now I am complete”. My wife is some 34 years my junior. The age difference has never, I repeat NEVER been an issue. 

In case you can’t tell my life with my Filipino wife and my Fil-Am sons has been like a fairy tale.

I am truly blessed,

Mike

 

 

How beautiful. I read this post to my wife and we both are teary eyed. Love conquers all.

Edited January 28, 2019 by Reboot

[Arizona Kid]

I made sure that my son got a US passport at the embassy in Manila. When I pass he has the option to live here or go to the place where the streets are paved with gold. I'm putting money monthly in a joint account for him and his mom if that's what he wants to do. 

[Mark Berkowitz]

I'm 65 and I'm probably one of the youngest 'old fathers' on this forum.  I have a 2 year old Fil-Am  son who makes me feel like I'm a child again.  I want the best for his future, so I plan on bringing him to the USA.  He's already an American citizen with a US Passport.