How does the Ya-ya (live in maid) system work?

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boyee
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6 hours ago, Onemore52 said:

Once you show kindness to them they think you are weak and will take advantage of the situation, and it has happened here in our household.

I've asked my wife's family who live in Manila about their helpers.  I was surprised to learn that they felt the same way about their own helpers whom they've had for decades.  They seemed like extended family members to me but we were told if you treat them too well they will walk over you or at least expect more.  They have to fine the balance between life long helpers and a hired employee.  One cousin was raised by his yaya so you can image how difficult it must be for him to treat her like an employee but they insist it is a must if you want to keep them.  I have no personal experience but this is the collective feeling from born and raised Filipinos I trust and love.  It will be interesting when we make the move to PH from the U.S.  

Does anyone have experience with a full time driver?  Many of my Wife's Tita's have them and say it is very expensive because its a specialized skill.  I'm not sure why it's expensive relative to the maids since they only drive.  I.e. if their is no where to go they just chill all day.

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hk blues
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4 minutes ago, Onemore52 said:

But having said that, let me add that I was in a management role in my working life  and it payed to be cautious of everyone then, that most of the time people would take advantage of me given the chance, they never got that chance.

Likewise, I was in a management role - I took another approach in that I assumed everyone was a good guy until they proved me wrong.  Some did, most didn't.   

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Jack Peterson
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 Yes Guys all true enough BUt and there is always a BUT we are dealing with an element/culture we sometimes don't understand or just can't fathom out :wink:

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hk blues
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4 minutes ago, boyee said:

I've asked my wife's family who live in Manila about their helpers.  I was surprised to learn that they felt the same way about their own helpers whom they've had for decades.  They seemed like extended family members to me but we were told if you treat them too well they will walk over you or at least expect more.  They have to fine the balance between life long helpers and a hired employee.  One cousin was raised by his yaya so you can image how difficult it must be for him to treat her like an employee but they insist it is a must if you want to keep them.  I have no personal experience but this is the collective feeling from born and raised Filipinos I trust and love.  It will be interesting when we make the move to PH from the U.S.  

Does anyone have experience with a full time driver?  Many of my Wife's Tita's have them and say it is very expensive because its a specialized skill.  I'm not sure why it's expensive relative to the maids since they only drive.  I.e. if their is no where to go they just chill all day.

I think this is all down to culture - they do have a strict hierarchy here and view the employee/employer relationship differently than we might.  Strangely, considering the complaints we constantly read and hear about employees here, I wonder if they should reconsider if their way is working for them?  

 

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Jack Peterson
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4 minutes ago, hk blues said:

I wonder if they should reconsider if their way is working for them?  

Scratching Head.jpg Hk, I wonder if they would actually understand that question, I mean you know the Standard Answer. it is the Philippines you don't like it go home :rolleyes: Which i might add is what i say to them if I dislike the answers I get or hear bad noises from them

 

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hk blues
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1 minute ago, Jack Peterson said:

 Yes Guys all true enough BUt and there is always a BUT we are dealing with an element/culture we sometimes don't understand or just can't fathom out :wink:

I understand that Jack, I just 100% feel they have it wrong and cannot see any evidence that it actually works based on all the stories we read, hear and experience here.  

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boyee
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2 minutes ago, hk blues said:

Strangely, considering the complaints we constantly read and hear about employees here, I wonder if they should reconsider if their way is working for them?  

I think most of us who grew up in a Western culture would agree but I wouldn't travel to India and try and convince people that the CASTE system is wrong.  Even if, well it just is.  Likewise when I'm in the PH I try to put my values aside a little and do as the Romans do.  We shall see how that works out for me when I move.  lol

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hk blues
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3 minutes ago, boyee said:

I think most of us who grew up in a Western culture would agree but I wouldn't travel to India and try and convince people that the CASTE system is wrong.  Even if, well it just is.  Likewise when I'm in the PH I try to put my values aside a little and do as the Romans do.  We shall see how that works out for me when I move.  lol

I think you've hit the nail on the head - some things are wrong because they are wrong but there is no point trying to convince people who cannot see that.  The evidence is in front of them, the employees do not perform and constantly need managed - who would have thought it! I prefer not to do as the Romans do though when something isn't working, I'll swim against the tide. 

 

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jimeve
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18 hours ago, Viking said:

Just a question out of curiosity from my side. Why do someone who dont have small children, is not working, is not handicapped or sick in any other way need a helper in their household? Dont get me wrong on this, I just think that as a retiree we have lots of time to do what we want to do, after we done what we have to do. Is it because it is so cheap to hire someone else to do it? Is it not easy to get lazy when we dont need to do any of those things?

No kids, just a filipina wife. I do most of the cleaning floors, do my share of washing pots, we have a washing machine to wash clothes, (great invention) I'm only 65 years young.

Maybe when I'm 80 We might get a part time helper. TBH I could not afford a helper.   

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hk blues
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27 minutes ago, jimeve said:

No kids, just a filipina wife. I do most of the cleaning floors, do my share of washing pots, we have a washing machine to wash clothes, (great invention) I'm only 65 years young.

Maybe when I'm 80 We might get a part time helper. TBH I could not afford a helper.   

I have a kid - we're training him to become our helper! :tongue: 

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