Why oh Why

[RBM]

Have close friend here whom has been with his Filipina for over 10 years. He purchased a house for her an their baby, nice location, they have always had an excellent relationship with mutual respect. 

As he spends a two month period here and returns to his country this poses no problem, they video chat most nights, further he is supporting her parents whom are helping out with baby an house. Its a pension requirement  for him to absent no longer than 2 months. She is  always excited upon his return, often texts me about it.

Recently he called me extremely upset as appears she has a Filipino BF, discovered via the cell. Without going into details it appears certainly to be the situation. They have discussed it and currently trying to work through it.

Just not able to understand this word why....she is educated, intelligent as is he, further he adores her and spends accordingly. He is not a drinker and is very good natured, it staggers belief.

[Jack Peterson]

19 minutes ago, RBM said:

this word why.

Why indeed Bruce but it happens and the Longer I am here the More I read, hear and see that Relationships go astray  What a Pity But............ Unfortunately it really does make you think  10 years is a Long time, so obviously there must be an underlying problem that only they can sort out. I wish them well But......................... a Loss of Trust is not easy to mend/regain 

[CoffeeRulzMe]

A good guy that loves his wife, good provider, not a drinker, etc.  Loss of trust; I agree with Jack, hard to mend.  I'll take it a step further; impossible to mend (from my personal experience but with a western woman). Tried to get past it.....for a few years for the benefit of kids.....then one day, I just got up out of bed after thinking all night, packed a few bags, and walk out.  No regrets.

 

 

 

[GeoffH]

21 minutes ago, CoffeeRulzMe said:

A good guy that loves his wife, good provider, not a drinker, etc.  Loss of trust; I agree with Jack, hard to mend.  I'll take it a step further; impossible to mend (from my personal experience but with a western woman). Tried to get past it.....for a few years for the benefit of kids.....then one day, I just got up out of bed after thinking all night, packed a few bags, and walk out.  No regrets.

 

Been there... done that and I have to agree with you.

[graham59]

... And that is how my first marriage to a Filipina ended (after 12 years).

I am convinced that no matter how hard we try,  for some Filipinas,  we can never match 'one of their own'.  

It hurts. 

[Arizona Kid]

On 5/29/2019 at 12:03 PM, RBM said:

Have close friend here whom has been with his Filipina for over 10 years. He purchased a house for her an their baby, nice location, they have always had an excellent relationship with mutual respect. 

As he spends a two month period here and returns to his country this poses no problem, they video chat most nights, further he is supporting her parents whom are helping out with baby an house. Its a pension requirement  for him to absent no longer than 2 months. She is  always excited upon his return, often texts me about it.

Recently he called me extremely upset as appears she has a Filipino BF, discovered via the cell. Without going into details it appears certainly to be the situation. They have discussed it and currently trying to work through it.

Just not able to understand this word why....she is educated, intelligent as is he, further he adores her and spends accordingly. He is not a drinker and is very good natured, it staggers belief.

Sad to say it's the old Cat's away the mice will play. I for one would not forgive it and be done with her!

[davewe]

On 5/29/2019 at 12:03 PM, RBM said:

 

As he spends a two month period here and returns to his country this poses no problem, they video chat most nights...

The question is how long is he away. If he is in PI for 2 months and then the rest of the year in his country, this seems a scenario consistent with cheating, no matter how long they have been together.

[Kuya John]

Sad situation but as stated not uncommon, with a long distance relationship more likely to happen.

The other factor would also be a younger lady left on her own for 10 months of the year, I'm am surprised their relationship lasted so long.

Very hurtful for him, he obviously trusted and love her enough to care for her family also.

He has my sympathy, we all have a story we could tell I'm sure.

A wise Indian man once told me........"history has shown that a King has given up his throne for a woman, but never a Queen for a man".

 

[Mike J]

On 5/30/2019 at 8:24 AM, GeoffH said:

Been there... done that and I have to agree with you

. . . and I got the tee-shirt, using to wash my car.

[RBM]

On 5/30/2019 at 5:11 PM, davewe said:

The question is how long is he away. If he is in PI for 2 months and then the rest of the year in his country, this seems a scenario consistent with cheating, no matter how long they have been together.

To clarify  he has 2 months abroad and 2 months in the   Philippines, this on a pretty much permanent basis.