Paying for Meal

[gaga4]

Thanks Dave. But looks like you're off topic.

[Dave Hounddriver]

10 minutes ago, gaga4 said:

Thanks Dave. But looks like you're off topic.

  My mistake.  Sorry to interrupt your rant.  Please continue.  We all need it from time to time.

[Eddie1]

1 hour ago, gaga4 said:

why would I go there and dial down my lifestyle when I can do the same in the US????

So DON'T!     The Phils isn't for everybody and it certainly doesn't sound like it is the right place for you.  It's a big world, look for another place that falls in line with your expectations.

[scott h]

1 hour ago, gaga4 said:

Scott, what you are also saying therefore is - if a Pinoy comes to the US then I should expect them to foot the bill when we dine out - because that is their culture. Or am I wrong about that???

Yeah, you might have misunderstood me a little bit. If you are in the states, you are a "dollar earner" also. So when the "poor relations" from the Phil. visit, not only will you be expected to treat but most likely let them stay at your house, unless you want to rent them a hotel room. 

1 hour ago, gaga4 said:

Sorry, I totally disagree with the culture reasoning.

Sounds weird doesn't it? But yet you have several guys who have been living here, or have been closely involved with Filipino culture for a long time (for me I married into it 25 years ago)(and I still get surprised at times ) so you can pretty much take it to the bank.

You mentioned Thailand, I have not been there, but to Japan and Korea where if you are a guest you can leave your wallet at home so I know what you mean. 

It might help not to think of it as an Asian culture per se. It is a mixture of Spanish, American, Chinese with some of the old tribal customs mixed in. Usually in our view they took all the bad parts from each and left the rest 

Bottom line: IT IS WHAT IT IS. 

[GeoffH]

It is what it is... I found myself facing some quiet questions from a couple of family members after another westerner visited a family yaya, they weren't angry they were honestly surprised (and a bit sad for their yaya). Basically 'he organized a night at a hotel with food and swimming and then he and his girlfriend invited people' and he didn't pay (except for him and his yaya and her son).  Why would he do this Geoffrey?  He didn't have to have food and swimming with the family?  It was left to my family members to make up the shortfall out of their weekly budget. They didn't ask me for money but they did end up having to remove the AC unit from the downstairs bedrooms (selling it I think) and also thereby reducing their electric spend to catch up on their budget.

Sometimes the cultural differences create problems on both sides of the divide gaga4, my suggestion would be to say something along the lines of 'no budget' if you're asked for a group outing.

Edited June 17, 2019 by GeoffH

[gaga4]

1 hour ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

  My mistake.  Sorry to interrupt your rant.  Please continue.  We all need it from time to time.

Darn tootin' straight!

[Lou49]

5 hours ago, gaga4 said:

So that's the mentality of Pinoys? Foreigners are rich? Never mind that they are your guests? So you let guests pay instead of the host paying? WTF!!! Part of the problem is the Philippines is not any cheaper as it is in the US. This notion that its cheap to retire there is hogwash!! 

Bingo. You got it.

[gaga4]

2 hours ago, Eddie1 said:

So DON'T!     The Phils isn't for everybody and it certainly doesn't sound like it is the right place for you.  It's a big world, look for another place that falls in line with your expectations.

So don't is right!!!

[virginprune]

I've only once been expected to pick up the tab in a restaurant, that was in Thailand 12 years ago.

[Onemore52]

To come in on this and not to use the "Don't get caught a second time", the trick is not to get caught at all.

On Saturday evening a family member suggested we all to out on Sunday for Fathers Day, so knowing what I know now I simply said

"No, everywhere will be crowded and it is going to be another hot day, just come around here and we will have a late lunch, just bring some drinks".

Now I have been bleating on this forum for some time about people not bringing anything, so I stressed the part "Just bring some drinks".

Early Sunday morning I went to the marked and bought 3 kilos of chicken breasts and some onions, capsicum and bell peppers, took it home and concocted a sate chicken recipe, the gf threaded the sticks and got the rice going, bang a meal.

The family arrived at 2 in the afternoon armed with wine, beer and soft drink.

There is enough booze left over to last me for the rest of the week.

So I reckon if you spell it out to people then they should know the drill, if not pull the welcome mat  in on them.