It got me thinking

[bastonjock]

I looked at my avatar and noticed that I have been a member for 5 years and 5 months. 

This triggered a series of thoughts back to a time when I was fresh in to a forthcoming divorce , at the time I had moved from my 5 bed house with 2.5 acre of paddock into a two bed mid terraced house 

I was dealing with the detriment of being newly separated , I was doing ok with the ladies dating etc but had more or less decided on heading out east so to speak , at the time I'm glad I had responsibility in place or I might have gone off the deep end into a spiral of self destruct

I remember the dread with every envelope that came through the door , I had not expected my ex wifes request for a divorce , it came as a shock , sitting there in the car discussing which restaurant to go to ,then all smiles turns round and says I want a divorce , I've been thinking about it for two years  , yes it hit me like a truck on a foggy night

The dating scene in the UK for a mature bloke has its moments , I dated the sister of the worlds strongest man , unfortunately did not look like her photo and more like her brother about date 14 I met a smoking hot bird , an accountant with no kids , we ended up living together for a while and I thought that the relationship was going well until her Anorexia and OCD started to surface , she was as mad as a coot , but I do admit to having feelings for her , so I split up with her and turned my sights to the Philippines,  I've met a decent philipino lady and hopefully it will be a long term relationship. 

It was just seeing that 5 years and 5 months , bringing back those dark days of divorce,  my ex wife has met a new man , I'm happy for her 90 % of the time , there are still moments when I could throw darts at her photograph,  ( dont have any pics) 

In a generation society has gone from majority of marriages being successful to a divorce rate in excess of 50%

So what led you guys to this forum and the Philippines 

 

[Mark Berkowitz]

1 hour ago, bastonjock said:

So what led you guys to this forum and the Philippines 

I was in a deep depression after my divorce from my American wife (1st marriage that lasted 23 years with two kids).  So, I went online and I met women from all over the world, including England and Norway.  They traveled to me and I traveled to them, but it was just flings, and nothing ever materialized out of it.

So, there I was one day in the depths of depression one day, when a Filipino friend said that I was going about things the wrong way.  He said that what I needed was a Filipina.  My mouth became slack-jawed, since my friend (as well as everyone else that I knew back then from the Philippines) had no desire at all to ever return to the Philippines.

I wasn't really interested in the Philippines and I had no desire to ever meet a Filipina, but my friend said that he would reach out (if I agreed) to the Philippines for available women that he would vet.

Subsequently, I had numerous friend requests (on FB) from Filipinas in the Phils, and I accepted them.  This went on for about 2 years.  It was basically a 'hello, how are you?' type of exchange between my Filipina FB friends and me.

But one day, I received a message from a very sad Filipina FB friend.  Her hubby had just died after cheating on her in one of those short stay motels, with one of her friends (obviously, not a real friend).  Her hubby had a stroke and heart attack in the motel room whilst doing something that he hadn't done with my FB friend for 7 years.  He always claimed that he couldn't get a stiffy anymore.

As it turned out, this new friend was not one of the Filipinas that my friend had vetted.  She actually saw a pic of me on one of her friends' FB pages... and friended me back when she was first cheated on by her late hubby.  She said that I looked like Nicholas Cage... it's one on my pics on my profile here, where I'm wearing an American Flag T-Shirt.

Anyhow, I started chatting with my FB friend, which led to endless hours of video-chatting on Skype. We were falling for each other, but she told me about the one-year rule in the Philippines for getting together, and insisted that we must wait to actually meet.

Long story short:  I decided to go the Philippines anyway... and after some time, we got married and brought a little boy into this world.

While I was still new to the Philippines, I searched online for an expat forum and never found one 'like forever.'  After a couple of years, I finally found this forum, and I'm glad about that for many reasons.

Since then, I've learned many things on this forum, including how to get my son his American citizenship (and NO, I didn't have to take a DNA test, as someone on here had said insultingly to me).

So now, even though I've returned to my homeland, I'm still here because I'm still connected to the Philippines in so many ways.

Edited July 5, 2019 by Mark Berkowitz

[GeoffH]

11 hours ago, bastonjock said:

So what led you guys to this forum and the Philippines 

I'd worked for 35 years but I was having increasing medical issues so with the consent of the (not involved but still share holder family members) I found a buyer for the family business (which as manager I'd doubled in size and shifted to a new modern facility making it attractive to a larger company).

About 6 months after the money came through my (now ex) decided (after 20 odd years - I had a much earlier divorce) that she wanted a separation.

So the main family house (which I'd poured my assets into) and a large lump sum and a large amount of (continuing child support payments) go to her leaving me with the old family house (which was somewhat run down having been rented and was worth much less) and half of my superannuation and now no job.

That wasn't ideal as you can imagine so I started looking elsewhere.  I joined an online dating site for the Philippines... visited... that ended badly but while I was here I met SWMBO.  I ended up chatting online to her, came back in a few months and things gradually went from there.

The forum... well I joined that well after all this had happened, I'd followed some other web sites but I didn't find this one until everything was pretty much done and dusted.

Edited July 6, 2019 by GeoffH

[Jack Peterson]

8 hours ago, bastonjock said:

So what led you guys to this forum and the Philippines 

 I was introduced by an already member here ( the Forum) some 7+ years ago, to the Philippines, well I married a work Colleague who happened to be a Filipina, We met when I was sent here by the Company)

Edited July 6, 2019 by Jack Peterson

[hk blues]

Nothing dramatic for me, divorced from my 1st wife of 23 years (no kids) following a period of drifting apart, met my 2nd wife whilst we were both working in Hong Kong - baby came along, got married and moved here 4 years ago. Joined the forum because it's an invaluable source of information ( and the odd piece of misinformation but it's all good).

Happy with life here and now, lucky to say I've not gone through the same traumas that some here have.

[stevewool]

I have walked in your shoes .

A divorce is one of those things that could kill you and it very nearly did kill me, the end of the world that I had knew , like you the letters and the demands from a solicitor who does not know me at all and the lies that was said about me , a unfit husband and father who hurt his ex wife and friends who was your friends well they don’t exist now.

But look at me now, life is the best it’s every been I have the most beautiful wife/ friend any person could every wish for , yes it’s been hard work , but that hard work has got me to where we are now, money in the bank , our own home here and there sort off.

Yes going and looking at the fruits of the east certainly has worked for me, by the way before all this happened I really had no idea about the Philippines, by the way it was a dating site that got me into the Philippines and at first I was a kid in a sweat shop with all those lovely goodies that I could only dream about, no more dreaming now Steve.

[Balisidar]

14 hours ago, bastonjock said:

So what led you guys to this forum and the Philippines 

Nothing dramatic for me either.  Been married to the same Filipina lady for 33 years.  I'm a planner and I think really long term so retiring to the Philippines has always been our plan.  I'm a member of a couple of expat forums but this is probably the best one.  Raised three kids and have two grandkids but it's almost time for this tired guy and his wife to move on.  About a year left to go.😁

[Arizona Kid]

I first visited the Phills in 1971 and fell in love with it right off the bat. I had no plans of retiring here after I retired from the military in 94. I went from a supervisor to a house painter..then working at a hotel..then a pest control company where the stress started and just said the hell with it. Made the move in 2002 and have never regretted it one time. With my military pension and SSN I'm living the good life. Despite everything I complain about, I wouldn't have it any other way. 

[stevewool]

23 minutes ago, Arizona Kid said:

 Despite everything I complain about,

I’ve never heard you complain at all.

[Mark Berkowitz]

On 7/6/2019 at 3:50 AM, Mark Berkowitz said:

Since then, I've learned many things on this forum, including how to get my son his American citizenship 

 

 

 

Edited July 7, 2019 by Dave Hounddriver
Removed troll comments