Can the Filipino smell spare cash

[stevewool]

It amazes me that you find yourself with some spare cash and you are thinking we can use this for a holiday or a car or let’s save it for a rainy day sort of thing , and the next minute you have the message , we are desperate we need cash ,we need to pay for school fees , but they have been on a few nice holidays not long ago , so you know my answer already .

But again it causes pressure in my household, what makes me angry is these people are not poor , she is earning very  good money much more then I did , but the problem lies with her lazy husband, what’s the saying , you can take the Filipino out of the Philippines but you cannot take the Philippines out of the Filipino.

I save for the rainy day , not always and I have been bailed out before , but I learnt from that, these folk never will, college fees car fees for children and fees for the lazy husbands all adds up for a single wage.

Its been a stressful few days but we will get over it, it amazes me you get some folk who has no respect for anyone even family members then you have others who carry the guilt of not giving every time there is a issue.

Now breath 

[hk blues]

31 minutes ago, stevewool said:

It amazes me that you find yourself with some spare cash and you are thinking we can use this for a holiday or a car or let’s save it for a rainy day sort of thing , and the next minute you have the message , we are desperate we need cash ,we need to pay for school fees , but they have been on a few nice holidays not long ago , so you know my answer already .

But again it causes pressure in my household, what makes me angry is these people are not poor , she is earning very  good money much more then I did , but the problem lies with her lazy husband, what’s the saying , you can take the Filipino out of the Philippines but you cannot take the Philippines out of the Filipino.

I save for the rainy day , not always and I have been bailed out before , but I learnt from that, these folk never will, college fees car fees for children and fees for the lazy husbands all adds up for a single wage.

Its been a stressful few days but we will get over it, it amazes me you get some folk who has no respect for anyone even family members then you have others who carry the guilt of not giving every time there is a issue.

Now breath 

Money to many here is something to be shared, like food.  If you have spare, you should give to those in need.  Up to that point I'm onboard.  The problem I have is the definition of in need i.e. people who don't work when they can are not in need in my book. Nor are people who choose  to spend their money on things the don't necessarily need when they know they have expenses coming up.  Also, money lent here can be viewed as a gift so it's important to set the ground rules to make it clear it's a loan and not a gift.  My wife understood my stance on this from the outset and her family do to so we don't have debates on the subject.  The youngest brother tried it a year or so ago when he wanted 10,000php for who knows what.  I suggested he talk to his sister in Saudi i.e. keep it in the family.  I could have given him the 10k - he's a  really nice kid -  but I feel it would be the thin end of the wedge.   

[stevewool]

Yes I agree on what you are saying, I hate people who don’t tell the truth, they tell you what may give them a better chance if the cash, I have yet to see anything shared within the family when it comes down to cash, yes they may give a little hoping the others will jump in , but again where lazy people who chose not to work but to drive around and fish with friends and then wear all the designer cloths while there partner works, well that’s there choice .

I am dreading the day if anything happens to the father medically, but there is another saying , they managed before without a foreigner in the family

[hk blues]

5 minutes ago, stevewool said:

Yes I agree on what you are saying, I hate people who don’t tell the truth, they tell you what may give them a better chance if the cash, I have yet to see anything shared within the family when it comes down to cash, yes they may give a little hoping the others will jump in , but again where lazy people who chose not to work but to drive around and fish with friends and then wear all the designer cloths while there partner works, well that’s there choice .

I am dreading the day if anything happens to the father medically, but there is another saying , they managed before without a foreigner in the family

For me. it was a case of it's my hard-earned cash and I'm not guilty of giving to my own (blood) relatives so I'm not likely to give to someone who isn't.  Harsh but fair as they say, Steve.  Would they weigh in If I needed it - yes.  Do they have it to weigh in - no!

[Guy F.]

A wise man said "debt is the glue that holds Philippines society together."

After more than 27 years of marriage my wife has begun to see the light regarding relatives "borrowing" but she still can't understand the utility of saving.

[graham59]

I have always made sure my (wife's) family have known about my poverty. 

They often give us gifts of food, etc. and we respond in kind, when we have extra veggies in the garden.  

 

[Old55]

As I understand it Steve you are no longer working. Is that correct? If so you have your reply to all the "requests".

[stevewool]

24 minutes ago, Old55 said:

As I understand it Steve you are no longer working. Is that correct? If so you have your reply to all the "requests".

And yes I do reply , but they always go through Emma because they say they find it difficult to asked me In English, I could understand if they had very little and do need the extra help, but the kids have a car the latest gadgets and like I have said the husband has not worked in the 10 years I have been involved in the Philippines, hay ho, gives me something to complain about in my retirement.

[Dave Hounddriver]

6 hours ago, hk blues said:

Money to many here is something to be shared, like food.

So true

I find myself starting to wonder why that is.  Perhaps it is the way they are raised.  Perhaps it is the church telling them it is better to give than to receive.  However the end result is people spending whatever they have in their pockets and thinking that others will provide for them tomorrow.

7 hours ago, stevewool said:

It amazes me that you find yourself with some spare cash and you are thinking we can use this for a holiday or a car or let’s save it for a rainy day sort of thing , and the next minute you have the message

I suspect that your wife is comunicating to her family and friends that you found yourself with some spare cash and are unsure what to do with it.  Hence the message.  I have tried to instill a commitment to silence in my wife, explaining that our financial affairs are nobody else's business and illustrating the point with anecdotes about her speaking about our business and the consequences of same.  She is coming around, slowly.

[stevewool]

Your sort of right there Dave, We have sorted it out this end a few harsh words spoken and I do understand that sometimes Ems is torn between sending cash, but it’s never a few quid where you can brush aside .