Can the Filipino smell spare cash

[Tommy T.]

5 hours ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

I suspect that your wife is comunicating to her family and friends that you found yourself with some spare cash and are unsure what to do with it.  Hence the message.  I have tried to instill a commitment to silence in my wife, explaining that our financial affairs are nobody else's business and illustrating the point with anecdotes about her speaking about our business and the consequences of same.  She is coming around, slowly.

I believe that is true. I find that financial affairs here seem to be very public. L's family ask me - how much did you pay for your house? Answer..."I forget." They look at me and then accept that I won't divulge. How much for your car? "I forget..." It is a sort of nice way to say, "None of your business..." I asked L about this and she agreed that it is a good way to deflect the inquiries. So far, only one of her siblings has hinted that he wanted something from me and I think I said no in a nice way without actually saying no.

I have seen this behaviour across the Pacific in many countries. It goes back, I think, to the idea that so many here have no concept of "tomorrow." Only today. Give someone P10,000 one day and they feel like they are a millionaire - until it is all spent.

As many here have already stated... If you give someone a "loan," consider it to be a gift. You will most times not be repaid. A rule of thumb I adopted many years ago is to not mix relationships (family, friends) with money. It often results in bad feelings at best...

[Old55]

24 minutes ago, Tommy T. said:

I believe that is true. I find that financial affairs here seem to be very public. L's family ask me - how much did you pay for your house? Answer..."I forget." They look at me and then accept that I won't divulge. How much for your car? "I forget..." It is a sort of nice way to say, "None of your business..." I asked L about this and she agreed that it is a good way to deflect the inquiries. So far, only one of her siblings has hinted that he wanted something from me and I think I said no in a nice way without actually saying no.

I have seen this behaviour across the Pacific in many countries. It goes back, I think, to the idea that so many here have no concept of "tomorrow." Only today. Give someone P10,000 one day and they feel like they are a millionaire - until it is all spent.

As many here have already stated... If you give someone a "loan," consider it to be a gift. You will most times not be repaid. A rule of thumb I adopted many years ago is to not mix relationships (family, friends) with money. It often results in bad feelings at best...

I would agree with all you have shared here Tommy. Especially the last bit.

[hk blues]

The main point for me is, giving once isn't PERHAPS the thin end of the wedge...it is DEFINITELY the thin end of the wedge!  I realised this after our neighbour borrowed a couple of thou - repaid promptly.  That was 3 or 4 years ago and we have repeated the same process countless times.  I have now come to understand that it's not that she really, really needs the money but has fallen into the habit and so have we!  Anyhow, it's always paid back so no foul, no harm.  She did once ask for a sizeable sum - 25K - and I immediately said no can do - following the sage advice of many on this forum - don't lend money you can't afford to consider a gift!

[Peaceful John]

Oh my Dave........I think you hit the nail on the head..........No matter how hard I have tried, nothing will stop my wife from spreading financial details, as well as other details with her sisters and mom.  Her family can tell me exactly how much my groceries cost.  The day after my monthly deposits arrive, her family is aware of them....... and they start the  sad stories of their money crisis for the month.  I've learned to redirect all of their requests back to my wife............ let her deal with it.

[Arizona Kid]

This might not be the case with everyone here, but the best way to get rid of a relative that you don't like is to lend them some money.

[Old55]

I don't know if the average Filipino can smell spare cash but they will immediately  recognize a soft target and take advantage of it.

[stevewool]

2 minutes ago, Old55 said:

I don't know if the average Filipino can smell spare cash but they will immediately  recognize a soft target and take advantage of it.

Yes a soft target even if it’s a member of there own family .

[Arizona Kid]

6 hours ago, Peaceful John said:

Oh my Dave........I think you hit the nail on the head..........No matter how hard I have tried, nothing will stop my wife from spreading financial details, as well as other details with her sisters and mom.  Her family can tell me exactly how much my groceries cost.  The day after my monthly deposits arrive, her family is aware of them....... and they start the  sad stories of their money crisis for the month.  I've learned to redirect all of their requests back to my wife............ let her deal with it.

Since I'm the biggest breadwinner in the house..she has a small lending business.. I told her that she can use ME as an excuse if there is something that the relatives want that she doesn't like. It's worked out very well because nobody wants to confront a Kano that is as handsome as Tom Cruz. 

[Old55]

14 hours ago, stevewool said:

Yes a soft target even if it’s a member of there own family .

Especially if a member of their own family is married to a rich Foreigner. Not always but often.

[Gary D]

2 hours ago, Old55 said:

Especially if a member of their own family is married to a rich Foreigner. Not always but often.

You can't beat a bit of relentless emotional blackmail