Are All Filipinas Insanely Jealous?

[manofthecoldland]

3 hours ago, Jack D said:

My Filipina wife is always asking me if I'd like to find another woman. Maybe it's insecurity?

Perhaps.   

     After 14or 15 years, I often get asked that, but its posed with a smile. As usual, I confirm my fidelity and lack of interest in any other woman..... then I run through the rational and emotional litanies of reasons why this is so..... I why I am so content to have her, and her alone as my woman. 

     I think she loves being reassured of my satisfaction with her and our exclusive, long term relationship. Since there are no guarantees to the length of anyone's relationships, health, wealth or life span.... it is not surprising that people crave reassurances to soothe their occasional bouts of doubt or anxiety, so better to quell their fears if and when they arise. 

    IMO the reason why overt jealousy and insecurity among women here might seem more evident is because of their greater dependence on male breadwinners in this economy and the shortage of female earning opportunities to become financially self supporting  for themselves..... and usually they children they have borne.  18 year long paternal financial support for children is lax here when a man loses interest in his woman, and since there isn't much of a safety net for the kids, the burden will fall upon the mother to provide despite her oft limited ability to do so. 

   Small wonder that women seem more insecure here and are zealously protective and over-protective of their relationships and whatever sense of physical and emotional security they provide.

   What I do not condone, however, are the pathological female control freaks that seem to exist here. They are often middle-aged or older and want to lock-in their husbands income stream and access to their wealth by using extreme and unethical measures, such as controlling all joint ownership in only their own name, keeping the foreign husband's passport in their own hands at all times, berating any women who innocently smile at or talk to their man, etc., and oft accusing their husbands of imaginary infidelities or dalliances without any real evidence.... only based on paranoid suspicions.

   I know of two foreign run-away husbands living here right now. They escaped from their stifling Filipina wives to seek out less controlling women to live and  hopefully find a measure of sanity and happiness with.     5 days ago, while at one of my regular pass-through pensions in MNL for 2 days while en-route to my home on Panay. I met a  68 yr. old fellow with a similar sad and pathetic tale of suffering the unexpected horrors of Pinay extremism.

     An oft-heard tale of an older Westerner seeking a suitable companion to share his golden years with. This overly trusting Canadian failed to do enough homework and due diligence.  He said that she seemed really nice while engaging her on-line with video chats for several months and claimed that there was no previous indication of her jealous and possessive nature 

   He set up house with his new on-line fiancee for a month, but when moving to another, not-yet-available apt., she insisted they move their furniture to her parent's during the interim. Things went downhill quickly during the interim with her family now surrounding him. Rows became frequent over her demands and he just bugged out one day when she......TORE UP HIS PASSPORT to prevent him from leaving her. He did anyway and with only the clothes on his back, Took him 2 or 3 weeks to get things sorted with his embassy and immigration and finally getting some money from home. Claims he spent time homeless and sleeping in a PNP offered jail bunk at one point.  As I departed he was very happy, having just spent 5 hours at MNL immigration, where they had misplaced his just sent over embassy file for 3 hours. I hoped to be on a plane back to Ontario the next day, he told me. 

End of story.

 Yes.  From all the stories I have heard over the years.........There are indeed, 'insanely jealous Filipinas'.   

 

[Jack D]

5 minutes ago, manofthecoldland said:

 I think she loves being reassured of my satisfaction with her and our exclusive, long term relationship. Since there are no guarantees to the length of anyone's relationships, health, wealth or life span.... it is not surprising that people crave reassurances to soothe their occasional bouts of doubt or anxiety, so better to quell their fears if and when they arise. 

I tend to think that my Filipina wife also craves reassurances whenever she has anxiety over my marriage to her. I always tell her that I'm completely and totally in love with her, and that no other woman could ever take her place. I have no problems with telling her these things since I am just being truthful to her.

[BrettGC]

AM (Angry Midget), still can't get used to the fact that I have female friends, some since school, some from my military service, and some from traveling (PI included).  Some have been there for me through some pretty tough times, so they're as much my mates as any bloke could be.  She's met most that really count in my life, and knows they have no "evil" designs or any intention of stealing me away, hell why would they want when they know me so well?  But still there's always that undercurrent of jealousy whenever they're around or even mentioned.  

One of my best friends in the world, a woman, has been with the same woman for years and she and AM have actually become pretty close themselves.. Perhaps I'm the one that should be jealous?  

When the subject rears it's head, the entire "trust" conversation ensues and when I reflect her statements back at her always ends predictably 

But despite that little quirk, she's the best thing that's ever happened to me and it's a small price to pay and is more than made up by "us", and everything we are as a couple..

Edited November 17, 2019 by BrettGC

[hk blues]

I'd say yes, they are more jealous, or at least more openly so, than women from our countries.  I often think it's a result of observing the behaviour of many of us foreigners (Westerners) when around women here.  Also, for many of us here it's our 2nd or 3rd time around with marriage (myself included) so maybe that influences things too - based on the idea if he could leave his 1st wife and family then he could leave me too, perhaps?  

[Clermont]

Yes sadly there are jealous women over there and sometimes we marry one, mine is a beauty, no worries even when she carries on a bit. Calmly I tell her, " there is only one like you love, but if you can find another let me know and I'll weigh the odds up on which one to keep." Thank the lord she's not over confident in English or know when I'm taking the micky out of her when she gets into one of her woman moods. 

[BC57]

17 hours ago, Maxheadspace said:

OK, maybe not all, but I seem to have known a few Filipinas who were bizarrely jealous and suspicious of everything.  Number one among them is my wife, who is so jealous that she will not let me meet any of her Filipina friends for fear that we'll hook up.  Just curious if that is sort of a constant among Filipino women.

Yes on both, jealous and very suspicious. 

[Viking]

My wife is very jealous too but she dont go to extremes like some do.

I wonder if some of you guys have any female pinay friends that your wifes/gfs accept?

I have several, but it is hard to have a normal friendship with them because of the jealousy from my wife. 

What is your experience from things like this?

[Tukaram (Tim)]

Mine is not jealous (or just does not like me? ha ha).  I could not have put up with a jealous woman.  I hear that many are, but I got a few friends married to locals, and theirs are not jealous either.  Keep looking. Takes a while, but you can find them. 

[Tommy T.]

Perhaps one reason for this jealousy might be because of the Filipino culture itself?

I read about and L tells me about any number of Filipino men who have strayed and cheated on their wives or girlfriends. It seems to be somewhat common here. Women are expected to be pure (although not all are) and boys will be boys...

I, personally don't have the issue. We love each other and no thoughts to stray.

[scott h]

1 minute ago, Tommy T. said:

cheated on their wives or girlfriends.

a lot to what you say,,,,,there is even a clause in inheritance laws governing illegitimate kids