Debut in Baguio!

[OnMyWay]

7 hours ago, Arizona Kid said:

Not meaning to pop your bubble, but these displays of wealth that Filipino's seem to love doing is what irks me. It happens in all countries, I know. But to spend money on frivolousness bull crap just to show off, while the beggar children are just trying to get enough to eat..Don't like it. And yes, I do contribute monthly to the children's feeding program here in my Barangay.   

You are not popping my bubble.  This was probably my first and last debut party, unless I can find out more about it ahead of time next time.  However, if close friends asked, I would probably go.

I think you are being a bit judgmental.  Who are you to define what "frivolous bullcrap" is?  Is it a car?  A nice house?  A wedding party?  The debut is a Philippine tradition and perhaps in their family they have always had debut parties.  However, it depends on the girl too.  Many girls are not that outgoing and would not enjoy being at the center of a party like that.  With this family, the girl is a very outgoing and sociable girl, so she had a debut party.  Maybe some of it is showing off, maybe not.  I like this family a lot and they are a great example of what Filipinos can accomplish.  Both professionals, only two kids, great values, etc.  If they can afford to throw a party that their family and friends can enjoy while employing a lot of people in the process, why not?  Just because some families can't manage their finances or children's expectations does not mean others should not enjoy a debut party.

The Philippines has a growing middle class who have money to spend.  Who are you to tell them what to spend it on?  You have no idea how charitable the family is or for that matter, any family.  What percentage of their money should be given to the poor street kids to make you happy?  Or, what percentage of their money should be given to the government to be wasted with the promise of helping the street kids?  It sounds like you and some others would like the Philippines to be socialist.  If it ever went that way, I doubt that you would stay.

Yes, the Philippines has extremes of wealth and poverty, and there are many things f*cked up, but you know what?  You probably would not be living here if the poverty did not exist.  I would say a high percentage of expats live here due to the lower cost of living.  Why is it lower?  Because wages are very low.  Next time you get your car washed by hand for p100, how about tipping the 3 car wash boys $5 USD each so they can feed their kids better and keep them off the street.  Is that how it should work?

There is plenty of poverty in our home countries, if you look for it, and I would be most of us living a middle class lifestyle didn't think much about it.  Did you feel guilty when you bought a new car because there are poor people?  Doubtful.  So don't judge others who are successful Filipinos when they buy a nice car or have a nice party or take a nice vacation.  Most of them earned it just like most of us earned our money.

If you want wealth distribution, you and Bernie can take a stroll down to Venezuela for a nice long visit.

Sorry for the rant.

 

[Mike J]

11 hours ago, stevewool said:

Talking to Emma about the debut that is happening in December, well  it was not happening because of funds , first there was money problems with the mortgage, ‘Steve would not help’, then there was a problem with the extension on the house no cash to keep it going, ‘Steve would not help’, then the new water purification business they are thinking about,,Steve would not help’ and to top all that the sisters father in law had a fall and was in  hospital for over 2 weeks and is now staying at there house until he is fitter to go back to his own house, and yes he is improving daily, ‘his granddaughter paid for his hospital care’.

So with no extra money at all I did not think there would be any party in fact myself and Emma was going to treat the girl to a day out with us with a shopping trip with a limit i must add, but it’s all changed and like others have said is it all about showing off to others .

By the way can anyone tell me what age in the Philippines do you stop buying gifts for nieces and nephews , kids I am ok with but once they are out of there teens it can start to get expensive and silly.

That Steve guy sounds like a real badass.    Nice that you will give her a day out to celebrate. 

[Arizona Kid]

15 hours ago, OnMyWay said:

You are not popping my bubble.  This was probably my first and last debut party, unless I can find out more about it ahead of time next time.  However, if close friends asked, I would probably go.

I think you are being a bit judgmental.  Who are you to define what "frivolous bullcrap" is?  Is it a car?  A nice house?  A wedding party?  The debut is a Philippine tradition and perhaps in their family they have always had debut parties.  However, it depends on the girl too.  Many girls are not that outgoing and would not enjoy being at the center of a party like that.  With this family, the girl is a very outgoing and sociable girl, so she had a debut party.  Maybe some of it is showing off, maybe not.  I like this family a lot and they are a great example of what Filipinos can accomplish.  Both professionals, only two kids, great values, etc.  If they can afford to throw a party that their family and friends can enjoy while employing a lot of people in the process, why not?  Just because some families can't manage their finances or children's expectations does not mean others should not enjoy a debut party.

The Philippines has a growing middle class who have money to spend.  Who are you to tell them what to spend it on?  You have no idea how charitable the family is or for that matter, any family.  What percentage of their money should be given to the poor street kids to make you happy?  Or, what percentage of their money should be given to the government to be wasted with the promise of helping the street kids?  It sounds like you and some others would like the Philippines to be socialist.  If it ever went that way, I doubt that you would stay.

Yes, the Philippines has extremes of wealth and poverty, and there are many things f*cked up, but you know what?  You probably would not be living here if the poverty did not exist.  I would say a high percentage of expats live here due to the lower cost of living.  Why is it lower?  Because wages are very low.  Next time you get your car washed by hand for p100, how about tipping the 3 car wash boys $5 USD each so they can feed their kids better and keep them off the street.  Is that how it should work?

There is plenty of poverty in our home countries, if you look for it, and I would be most of us living a middle class lifestyle didn't think much about it.  Did you feel guilty when you bought a new car because there are poor people?  Doubtful.  So don't judge others who are successful Filipinos when they buy a nice car or have a nice party or take a nice vacation.  Most of them earned it just like most of us earned our money.

If you want wealth distribution, you and Bernie can take a stroll down to Venezuela for a nice long visit.

Sorry for the rant.

 

Love the rant..who is Bernie?

[OnMyWay]

1 hour ago, Arizona Kid said:

Love the rant..who is Bernie?

Thanks for your understanding.  Bernie Sanders.

[OnMyWay]

Follow on to this.

I didn't know it a few days ago, but we were invited to another debut in Baguio this coming Saturday, Feb. 1.  We are not going.  This time it is my wife's niece and I guess she told them we would not be going at the wedding a few weeks ago.  My wife made a small contribution towards the party at that time.  At the time, when she mentioned it to me, I thought it was just a gift and I did not know there was debut party.

So they finally sent out the invitation this week.  At least to my wife.  I was very surprised when I saw it and the circumstances touch on some things mentioned in this thread.

1.  The debutante never seemed like a girl who would want a big party like this.  Very big girl, not really good looking and I thought she was quiet and shy.  She may have many friends though, despite what I assumed.

2.  Her mother (my wife's sister) and father always seem to live lowly, even though her father has had some good jobs in the past.  He works at TI now but as a contractor, so the pay is not high.  She works a low paid job.  She told my wife that they saved two years to pay for the party.  Their older daughter graduated university already and has a good job at TI as an industrial engineer, so she was probably able to help.

3.  It must have been expensive.  They had it somewhere in camp John Hay and I couldn't believe it when they said it was "formal".  Black or white.   For the debut party list, they had these:

18 Roses with 18 guys

18 cupcakes with 18 girls.  I have no clue what this is.

18 Blue Bills with my wife as the last name.

18 Treasures

18 shots??? What the heck is this?

That will take hours and hours!

I am so glad we did not commit.  I will never go to these again unless it is someone I really know well and feel close to.  We were bored to death at the last one and this would have been worse.  My BIL, her uncle who lives next door to her, even said he is not going because of his experience at that last one.  These things are so boring that is is not even worth getting a free meal!

 

[stevewool]

18 shots , well they may be adding a bit of the western culture 18th birthday party into the debut .

[hk blues]

13 hours ago, OnMyWay said:

Follow on to this.

I didn't know it a few days ago, but we were invited to another debut in Baguio this coming Saturday, Feb. 1.  We are not going.  This time it is my wife's niece and I guess she told them we would not be going at the wedding a few weeks ago.  My wife made a small contribution towards the party at that time.  At the time, when she mentioned it to me, I thought it was just a gift and I did not know there was debut party.

So they finally sent out the invitation this week.  At least to my wife.  I was very surprised when I saw it and the circumstances touch on some things mentioned in this thread.

1.  The debutante never seemed like a girl who would want a big party like this.  Very big girl, not really good looking and I thought she was quiet and shy.  She may have many friends though, despite what I assumed.

2.  Her mother (my wife's sister) and father always seem to live lowly, even though her father has had some good jobs in the past.  He works at TI now but as a contractor, so the pay is not high.  She works a low paid job.  She told my wife that they saved two years to pay for the party.  Their older daughter graduated university already and has a good job at TI as an industrial engineer, so she was probably able to help.

3.  It must have been expensive.  They had it somewhere in camp John Hay and I couldn't believe it when they said it was "formal".  Black or white.   For the debut party list, they had these:

18 Roses with 18 guys

18 cupcakes with 18 girls.  I have no clue what this is.

18 Blue Bills with my wife as the last name.

18 Treasures

18 shots??? What the heck is this?

That will take hours and hours!

I am so glad we did not commit.  I will never go to these again unless it is someone I really know well and feel close to.  We were bored to death at the last one and this would have been worse.  My BIL, her uncle who lives next door to her, even said he is not going because of his experience at that last one.  These things are so boring that is is not even worth getting a free meal!

 

I've been to a couple - they are a bit boring in my opinion.  Photoshot after photoshot after photoshot.  One I went to involved not only giving a 1000php note if you were one of the "lucky" chosen ones, but also paying 500php for the privilege of a quick dance.  I think these events bring out some of the worst traits in people here.

[stevewool]

22 minutes ago, hk blues said:

I've been to a couple - they are a bit boring in my opinion.  Photoshot after photoshot after photoshot.  One I went to involved not only giving a 1000php note if you were one of the "lucky" chosen ones, but also paying 500php for the privilege of a quick dance.  I think these events bring out some of the worst traits in people here.

It’s all about outdoing the last one ,that’s my thoughts.

[hk blues]

4 hours ago, stevewool said:

It’s all about outdoing the last one ,that’s my thoughts.

Indeed - it's a (mainly) Asian characteristic based on the concept of face I think.  

[OnMyWay]

On 1/30/2020 at 12:16 AM, OnMyWay said:

Follow on to this.

I didn't know it a few days ago, but we were invited to another debut in Baguio this coming Saturday, Feb. 1.  We are not going.  This time it is my wife's niece and I guess she told them we would not be going at the wedding a few weeks ago.  My wife made a small contribution towards the party at that time.  At the time, when she mentioned it to me, I thought it was just a gift and I did not know there was debut party.

So they finally sent out the invitation this week.  At least to my wife.  I was very surprised when I saw it and the circumstances touch on some things mentioned in this thread.

1.  The debutante never seemed like a girl who would want a big party like this.  Very big girl, not really good looking and I thought she was quiet and shy.  She may have many friends though, despite what I assumed.

2.  Her mother (my wife's sister) and father always seem to live lowly, even though her father has had some good jobs in the past.  He works at TI now but as a contractor, so the pay is not high.  She works a low paid job.  She told my wife that they saved two years to pay for the party.  Their older daughter graduated university already and has a good job at TI as an industrial engineer, so she was probably able to help.

3.  It must have been expensive.  They had it somewhere in camp John Hay and I couldn't believe it when they said it was "formal".  Black or white.   For the debut party list, they had these:

18 Roses with 18 guys

18 cupcakes with 18 girls.  I have no clue what this is.

18 Blue Bills with my wife as the last name.

18 Treasures

18 shots??? What the heck is this?

That will take hours and hours!

I am so glad we did not commit.  I will never go to these again unless it is someone I really know well and feel close to.  We were bored to death at the last one and this would have been worse.  My BIL, her uncle who lives next door to her, even said he is not going because of his experience at that last one.  These things are so boring that is is not even worth getting a free meal!

 

This old thread came to mind.

My 6 year old has a BFF from school and they spend a lot of time together.  The BFF had her 7th birthday party today.  When I heard that they were going to do the things like 7 blue bills, etc., I said, no way I am going.  So my wife and 2 girls attended.  They were there 4 hours until 8:30 pm and the party was still going.

The girl is actually a bit shy but the party was not about her, it was about showing off.  Her father is Chinese and owns a hotel here that I actually stayed in, in 2012.  The mother is Filipina and I have met her when I dropped the kids off to play at their house.  It is a nice but simple house, and I wonder if that is only one of his families / houses.

Most of the attendees were Chinese, and the father spoke mostly in "Chinese" (not sure which dialect).  It was held at a popular Chinese resto.  The first thing they served to each table was a bottle of Johnny Walker Gold Label.  Open bar as well.  Then the food spread was the best my wife had ever seen.  Three cakes for the kid.  Lots of presents for the guests.  The Chairman of SBFZ was one of the Blue Bill donors, which is another reason I did not want to go.  Can't stand the guy.

So this was all about showing off the wealth of the father, and not much about the daughter.  My wife said it was very much an adult party, not a kids party.  She guestimates they spend at least a million pesos on the party.