There is no need to talk to me like that

[OnMyWay]

2 hours ago, stevewool said:

I don’t blow my top often and I don’t swear very often at all but both things happened yesterday and Ems was on the receiving end , like I have mentioned in another thread about our driving trip and how well it went, we was within the last mile coming back to the house and as I was in the outside lane of three and passing a motorbike this other car forced the bike into the lane we was travelling and I nearly hit him as the rider was not looking at all, well Emma started screaming as it was that close and then started shouting at this man on his motorbike saying is he blind.

Then it was my turn to feel her wrath , You was going to fast and you should have slowed down , well I was keeping up with the traffic I said back, but this was not enough and on she went criticising my driving , well I was not having that and BOOM I fired off both barrels how dare she say I was driving badly and criticising my driving  with all these folk around me , I hate swearing in front of women , well that mile went by so very slowly and when asking which way to turn all I heard was mumbling coming from her.

I have now realised that Emma cannot criticise her own family at all even though she agrees that she does not like some of the things they do , but it seems easy to criticise myself about how I treat them and talk about them, don’t get me wrong I criticise my own family if I think they are wrong and they do me too, but these Filipinos seem to be a law to themselves, I know they treat Emma not well and as they are talking or yelling in there language and when I say what’s wrong I get the stupid ‘ I am only suggesting back in English ‘ lazy, dirty and if they do a chore they want payment in return plus free food , but I am wrong to criticise these folk it seems, but to me maybe the truth hurts when it’s close to home.

Moan over .

One thing you need to always remember, and it works both ways, is that it is easy to criticize something about someone you love.  Your wife, like mine, knows that she can say anything to you and get away with i, because you are family and love each other.  Family can yell at each other and know that at the end of the day they are still family.  When I was growing up, that is how it was with my brothers and sisters.  When were downright mean to each other sometimes, but knew that it was ok.

Sure, this openness with family sometimes causes a larger rift, but nothing that can't be overcome.  And yes, better to keep it private when possible.

I'm always reminding my wife not to be a backseat driver and where I come from, it is not acceptable.  Doesn't seem to matter and we just have to accept it as part of marriage!  Today we were on a little tiny road that was under construction, and she kept warning me about hazards that are no problem for me.  I finally sharply let her know that I am qualified to drive such a road and I will keep my family safe!  I have to watch my words lately as my two little girls are copying me a lot!  The 3 year year old said the other day "What the heck!".  Luckily nothing really bad yet!

[Jack Peterson]

2 hours ago, stevewool said:

I have now realised that Emma cannot criticise her own family at all

 STEVE! We have been trying to tell you this sort of thing for Years, It is what it is my good friend 

[Old55]

4 hours ago, stevewool said:

Now this is where you are wrong, I think the Philippines is a great place and I am enjoying my time here especially after these few days away , I am sure if I found the right place I could live very happy , but it’s finding that place to call home for both of us 

Two island rule my friend. We know you love Em’s very much and she loves you. Take the family out of your day to day life and start enjoying Philippines and a happy marriage.

[Viking]

4 hours ago, Jack Peterson said:

 STEVE! We have been trying to tell you this sort of thing for Years, It is what it is my good friend 

My woman was just like Emma, but she have changed, now she see the downsides of her own family and even critize them.

Maybe it´s because none of her parents are alive, only sister and brothers. Whatever the reason is, I am happy for this change 

[Kuya John]

As the saying goes.....blood is thicker than water

5 hours ago, Old55 said:

Two island rule my friend. We know you love Em’s very much and she loves you. .

You live on one Island........... Emm's on another.

It's more fun in the Philippines         I vote Steve for the job as Forum Entertainment Manager

Bridget Jones Diary eat your heart out.

Edited January 17, 2020 by Kuya John

[GeoffH]

3 hours ago, Viking said:

My woman was just like Emma, but she have changed, now she see the downsides of her own family and even critize them.

Maybe it´s because none of her parents are alive, only sister and brothers. Whatever the reason is, I am happy for this change 

You might be on to something there... SWMBO has come to the point where she will criticize (in private with the close family) her cousins when she thinks they're trying to take advantage and (in private with me) her brother, sisters in and in-laws occasionally if she disagress with something they've done but her mama and papa I've only heard very occasional comments and not so much 'criticizing' but more 'concerned' and few and rare comments about the older titos and titas.

The respect for family still applies... just in a slightly different way I think.

[manofthecoldland]

9 hours ago, Old55 said:

Two island rule my friend. We know you love Em’s very much and she loves you. Take the family out of your day to day life and start enjoying Philippines and a happy marriage.

"Sweet dreams are made of this. Who am I t disagree."

Q.   Why the ex-pat rule of thumb?   

A.  Re the relatives.....

"Some of them want to use you. Some of them want to be used by you ..... Some of them want to abuse you.... Everybody's  looking for something."  

[Jack D]

Steve, is this your first time in the Philippines?

From the sound of things, it really seems like your years of dreaming of retirement  in the Philippines never included visiting the Philippines.... maybe you have?... but it sure seems like this is your very first trip to the Philippines.

Take my word for it, the novelty of everything that you've described will wear off after a while. How long of a while?... it all depends on the person.

For your sake, I surely hope that you haven't given up your residence in England.

[OnMyWay]

16 hours ago, intrepid said:

Steve,  I have a close friend(83 years old), living here from the states now about 5 years.  He has said recently more than once that he is going to have to give up driving and hire a driver before they end up divorced!

83 years old!  I think I will side with the wife and also hope he hires a driver!

[OnMyWay]

1 hour ago, Jack D said:

Steve, is this your first time in the Philippines?

From the sound of things, it really seems like your years of dreaming of retirement  in the Philippines never included visiting the Philippines.... maybe you have?... but it sure seems like this is your very first trip to the Philippines.

Take my word for it, the novelty of everything that you've described will wear off after a while. How long of a while?... it all depends on the person.

For your sake, I surely hope that you haven't given up your residence in England.

Hmmm....

Steve's original post described a communication problem with his wife, something most of us experience.  How did it turn into family, two island rule, if he has been here before, etc., etc.

Steve is Steve, whether he is in England or the Philippines.  I do appreciate his consistency!