Life as a expat

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Marvin Boggs
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I struggle with some of the things I learn in the Philippines, because they go against what I have always been taught.  For example, as Steve is discovering, being generous often bites you in the ass.  We are so lucky that the immediate family does not harass us for money, or expect free home improvements, etc.

 

 

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Kuya John
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Hi Steve

I take it you are back on British soil?

Well your experience is a lesson to all prospective Newbies

For some, life couldn't be brighter with great family ties and respectful family.

But like most families, it only takes one black sheep to ruin the whole situation and turn things sour!

What is clear from many of the replies, is living on another island away from close family seems to work for the good of all.

Some members split their time between Philippines and their home country, that seems to be a good idea also.

Your strength will lay in your relationship with Emm's, if that remains positive, you will survive the whole episode. 

Good luck for the future, life's a learning curve..........JB :tiphat:

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stevewool
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4 hours ago, hk blues said:

The bigger problem is how you and your partner can agree a compromise for the future.  

I agree and it will get sorted a big birthday bash next April for the FIL the big 70 so that may be the next trip over , but we will  be staying in the house just for the few nights or none depending on how the house is and how they are.

I have listened to many folk on here about being attacked or killed for showing disrespect to them and I know I have pushed some buttons concerning the so called our house and the bil but I can’t help who and how I am .

I don’t own Ems and she will make her own mind up what to do about the family in the future because they don’t seem to have any idea other then to thank god each day .

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stevewool
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4 hours ago, Marvin Boggs said:

I struggle with some of the things I learn in the Philippines, because they go against what I have always been taught.  For example, as Steve is discovering, being generous often bites you in the ass.  We are so lucky that the immediate family does not harass us for money, or expect free home improvements, etc.

 

 

Asking for money has slowly stopped mainly because I say no ,plus the home improvements was something Ems has done for her dad and I can’t knock that, the only thing I can knock is how they seem to treat her , but she does not see it that way, as she says if she does not clean or cook who will, funny how they manage the rest of the months without her, ok the house is a shit hole in my eyes but they live in it not me.

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stevewool
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2 hours ago, Kuya John said:

Hi Steve

I take it you are back on British soil?

Well your experience is a lesson to all prospective Newbies

For some, life couldn't be brighter with great family ties and respectful family.

But like most families, it only takes one black sheep to ruin the whole situation and turn things sour!

What is clear from many of the replies, is living on another island away from close family seems to work for the good of all.

Some members split their time between Philippines and their home country, that seems to be a good idea also.

Your strength will lay in your relationship with Emm's, if that remains positive, you will survive the whole episode. 

Good luck for the future, life's a learning curve..........JB :tiphat:

Still here but locked up in a hotel near the airport away from the family and it’s wonderful, me and Ems will be fine I am sure, but she has her own mind .

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JDDavao II
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I guess that my experience here has largely been atypical where family is concerned.

M's family won't ask for money or at least they don't ask very often for very much. Dad needed his medicine costs covered a couple of times when sister was late sending from Saudi Arabia. I always left recovering the loan to M. Mom needed new glasses and so did sister. But those costs were met with expressions of eternal gratitude. Someone in Boracay fell out of a tree and broke his arm which left the family there short one income for four weeks so we covered the hospital bill. I know M has refused her family money a couple of times.

When the MIL and others were living here, M would always tell me that they kept asking, "Is he mad?" They were afraid they might do something to anger me.

I honestly don't know what I'd do if I was in Steve's flipflops. I'd have been off to prison a long time ago, I suppose.

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Kuya John
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21 minutes ago, JDDavao said:


I honestly don't know what I'd do if I was in Steve's flipflops. I'd have been off to prison a long time ago, I suppose.

From what I have seen and heard, prison in Philippines is not an option any foreigner would willingly choose!!!

Cut and Run is the most likely option for me.

I'm sure when Steve and Emms arrive back in UK......a few days in the Lake District  and "Sense and Sensibility" will prevail.  respectfully JB  :tiphat:

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Dave Hounddriver
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1 hour ago, stevewool said:

Still here but locked up in a hotel near the airport away from the family and it’s wonderful, me and Ems will be fine I am sure, but she has her own mind .

I remember you saying you had a plane ticket that goes back via Hong Kong.  Not sure how long it will go on but a fellow I know sent me a message that he and his wife tried to go home through Hong Kong and they refured to let his wife on the plane because she had a Filipino passport.  If your wife is traveling on a British passport she will probably be fine.

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