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Neither a borrower nor a lender be...


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Well, had my first experience with someone here wanting to have me "lend" them some money.

Quick story first.  This lady who asked for the money was my brother in laws girlfriend.  My brother in law passed away back in 2015 and left two little girls behind.  So we decided to put away some money for their college fund or so they could start a business when they got of age.  Not much money, I established a small 529 college fund for them.

Well..somehow or other, gossipinas being what they are, the word got out to my brother in laws girlfriend about the college fund for the girls.  So after we got here my wife sat her down and explained that we would give the girls the money after successful completion of their high school and that the money was for them.  After this they would be responsible for it and there would be no more.

Well, a couple of days ago this lady was chatting my wife up so to speak and asked if she could borrow 6k pesos so she could sell booze to tourists that would be heading to the beach during lent.  She assured my wife that she would pay the money back in April.

Well, my wife told her that she would have to speak with me first.(we've always talked about financial matters since we've been married.  It's worked well for 35 years). I asked her opinion then said,  I might consider it since it's for business and the lady has successfully run a sari-sari store over the years to provide for her daughters.  But I wanted her to sign a payment agreement and have it notarized at our bank.  We wouldn't charge her interest. My wife readily agreed.

Well, my wife relayed that all to the lady and said we could meet her at the bank to sign the papers.  I told my wife, either the lady would sign the papers, which meant she intended on paying us back or she would bow out.

A few hours later we got a call back from her saying..never mind.  She borrowed the money from her sister.

We've given some money to relatives over the years but loaned? Never.

Edited by Balisidar
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2 hours ago, Balisidar said:

 I wanted her to sign a payment agreement and have it notarized at our bank. 

Good advice to scare away potential borrowers,  what would you do if she signed and didn't pay it back?

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1 hour ago, Shady said:

Good advice to scare away potential borrowers,  what would you do if she signed and didn't pay it back?

We told her if it wasn't paid back we would take it from the kids college fund.😉

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Loans are rarely paid back here. Whenever deciding to loan for a good reason, consider it a gift. 

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2 hours ago, Queenie O. said:

Loans are rarely paid back here. Whenever deciding to loan for a good reason, consider it a gift. 

Very good advice as trying to get money back here will send you insane with all the excuses which come up.

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I'll be honest, my experience of lending money is quite different.  I have lent to family  once and it was repaid exactly as agreed and one neighbour once and another countless times with no issue.  As I've said many times, the first time there is an issue with repayment would be the last.  I only lend small amounts to my neighbour, less than 5K, so that might be why I've been lucky.  Anything above 10K would make me uncomfortable - anything less I could shrug off and lesson learned.

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4 minutes ago, hk blues said:

Anything above 10K would make me uncomfortable -

 We have been caught a few times but now, My wife makes anyone sign an agreement, It certainly makes any Borrower think about non Payment, We did have an occasion that we had to take it to the Barangay Captain, He told the Family Haad you either pay or I will have it reported as Estaffa ? You just have to be cruel to be kind for our own peace of mind, They fought back saying it was unlicensed Lending but the Captain said NO. it is a personal issue that you thought you could just ignore :tiphat: 

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2 minutes ago, Jack Peterson said:

 We have been caught a few times but now, My wife makes anyone sign an agreement, It certainly makes any Borrower think about non Payment, We did have an occasion that we had to take it to the Barangay Captain, He told the Family Haad you either pay or I will have it reported as Estaffa ? You just have to be cruel to be kind for our own peace of mind, They fought back saying it was unlicensed Lending but the Captain said NO. it is a personal issue that you thought you could just ignore :tiphat: 

Certainly having an agreement adds a level of security to the 'arrangement' which makes the borrower think twice about not repaying and perhaps puts them off in the 1st place (best cased scenario for me) - just as the OP's example.  

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3 hours ago, Queenie O. said:

Loans are rarely paid back here. Whenever deciding to loan for a good reason, consider it a gift. 

Exactly right, over 20+ years we have never loaned money only gifting cash and rarely that. Loans simply aren't worth the chance of hard feelings and worse. 

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46 minutes ago, hk blues said:

I'll be honest, my experience of lending money is quite different.  I have lent to family  once and it was repaid exactly as agreed and one neighbour once and another countless times with no issue.  As I've said many times, the first time there is an issue with repayment would be the last.  I only lend small amounts to my neighbour, less than 5K, so that might be why I've been lucky.  Anything above 10K would make me uncomfortable - anything less I could shrug off and lesson learned.

Well, agreed on repayment HK blues,  that you can really only go to the well once..:smile:

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