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Pakikisama: The spoken and unspoken rules and culture for living in the Philippine


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6 hours ago, Shady said:

You write it like it's no big deal. You're a target. If that happens once, I'd pack up and move to a guard-gated subdivision, it's why they exist here as part of the culture.

Its usually not unless something of large value is taken. Petty larceny is common and usually a thing of the moment and opportunity in very many third world countries. I recall reading many blogs and seeing many vblogs from weathy expats in say, Costa Rica, who complain bitterly about how all their hired help have light fingers. 

People here seem at times not to affix rigid property rights akin to those in wealthier countries... for some reason. I can guess why since I read a lot of social psychology re the attitudes of other national  societies, but since its a complex topic I don't want to start.  

My cheap tools have always had a way of 'disappearing' when I was out of  the country for 6 months. Other than that, we have never had anything disappear..... Oh yeah, usually my old spring rattraps if I left them haning on the inside of our old bamboo perimeter fence or around the yard after unused for several months. I think male relatives took these things, but was not about to make an issue of it. My wife usually keeps things well put away and out of sight now so not to tempt  them. When kith and kin come over for small repair chores I let them bring their own tools, and usually they are of the type and state that I would never use.

Many here use 'communal' tools to do tasks, i.e., they borrow and don't always return, and sort of pass them around according to critical need, since money is always in  short supply. Even craftsmen sometimes sell tools they will need and then borrow others if they are short of money due to food or medicine (or a million other things) needs of the moment.  Even the carpentars here don't have even a fraction of what you'd find in the garage of the average American male. 

No sense in getting outraged or bent out of shape when small things disappear because its considered selfish, childish behaviour, unbecoming to stable, mature adults. Especially wealthy ones. I guess they figure that if it is so important to you that you will keep it locked up or at least well out of sight.  

Many expats will argue stridently over this since it doesn't conform with their moral or ethical codes and norms, but thats the way it is oftentimes.

The importance of 'my stuff' , my individual rights, can be viewed at times and considering what specificly is involved, very differently than in our home countries. You pretty much have to confer with your Pinay to understand what is considered right or wrong here, and to what degree/level of importance, it carries, as well as local solutions when problems crop up.

 

 

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For most westerners arriving in the Philippines, there can be culture shock. Most travellers would say, however, that their initial experience in the country can be summed up in the words of kindness,

My wife has a big heart when dealing with other Filipinos. We live in the jungle so have to walk past or drive past the poor huts that they live in. Some have taken advantage of her and some have take

It certainly helps when you don't hand out freebies but ask for a favour in return.  The old saying " Kindness is a sign of weakness" certainly applied to myself initially. I had my fair share of user

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Thanks for reminding me how good I have it at my Winter Palace in Bohol. No bars on the windows and not in a gated community but nothing important has ever disappeared. We contribute to community projects occasionally and I consider that to be an insurance policy. We are usually not there but the caretaker couple stay there at night. The largest disappearance in the past 8 years was of a Wrist Rocket slingshot  which I believe was taken by a guest of a former caretaker.

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13 hours ago, hk blues said:

I live in such a sub-division - petty theft and worse still happens. Thieves live amongst us.

Not where I live. Burglary is not something I'd settle for.

 

12 hours ago, manofthecoldland said:

 I guess they figure that if it is so important to you that you will keep it locked up

 

That's my point: The gate is locked, and guarded by an armed guard. The house is locked up. There are broken glass-tipped perimeter walls around the village.

That is part of the culture, because the culture doesn't see burglary as acceptable, quite the opposite.

 

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8 hours ago, Shady said:

The gate is locked, and guarded by an armed guard.

LOL, I'v seen these armed guards fast asleep sat in a chair. As much use as a chocolate tea-pot.

:Count_Sheep:

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10 hours ago, Shady said:

Not where I live. Burglary is not something I'd settle for.

 

You're fortunate then.  I've never been burgled but accept that it's a possibility just as it was back on the UK and Hong Kong where I lived previously.  

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13 hours ago, hk blues said:

I've never been burgled

I guess we're all fortunate then to have armed guards everywhere.

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10 hours ago, Shady said:

I guess we're all fortunate then to have armed guards everywhere.

Or unfortunate to have the need for them!

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On 4/28/2021 at 4:44 PM, softail said:

Behind that smiling population of good people is a method of interaction that is collectively known as Pakikisama. The ability to adapt your behaviors that allow for successful social interchange. Easily summed up as the ability to get along with people.

Its a damn shame that never translated to the ability to get along with people when driving on Philippine roads.

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8 hours ago, hk blues said:

Or unfortunate to have the need for them!

Better guards to prevent crime than police to catch criminals

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10 hours ago, Shady said:

Better guards to prevent crime than police to catch criminals

But what does it say about a country where there are armed guards at McDonalds, 7-11, bakeries, etc.  

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