Buying a house/condo for your Filipina's family

[Dave Hounddriver]

8 hours ago, hk blues said:

I have next to no sympathy for the guy who doesn't see what every other guy around them does.

I used to be shocked at the very large number of expats who could not see what their filipina partner was up to when all around them could see it.  Then it happened to me and I realized that love really IS blind, deaf and dumb.  Not only did it happen to me once but it happened to me with a second filipina also.  This third one seems to be the keeper but ya never really know.

Fortunately, I followed all the advice on this forum and never invested more money into the relationships than I could afford to lose.  It was another Expat who screwed me out of my surplus money.

[Gandang Smile]

9 hours ago, hk blues said:

I don't disagree with your sentiment, but you make it sound like an interview GS!

We're all different but as fully grown men we should be able to sort different partners into different groups naturally - there are ones for fun and then others for a relationship. 

I hate to be blunt but I have next to no sympathy for the guy who doesn't see what every other guy around them does. I wonder if the same guys were equally oblivious in their own countries - I suspect yes.

Worse thing is they give the rest of us a bad name, or at least set expectation levels way beyond where they should be.

Living in Hong Kong for 10 years I saw it magnified and undiluted with the western ex-pats and Filipina domestic helpers. It was both pathetic and comical in equal measure.

I don't have sympathy for them either but, to be equally blunt, I have seen quite a few men, of any age, never married or thrice divorced, literally leave their best judgment home and get infatuated with the first girl found on a dating site, met in a bar, or introduce by a common friend.

Take the typical man whose last bout of intimacy was 8 years ago with his ex-wife, or whose last romantic experience traces back to high school or college. They will be eager to find romance and be more likely to fall for the first Filipina who acts all sweet and loving, be that out of their genuine personality...or convenience.

Sometimes it goes well, sometimes it goes less well.

I have actually seen a majority of successful relationships between a foreigner and a Filipina, whether or not the family decided to barge in and lay a few claims. Credit to the fact that the vast majority of Filipinas are far nicer, more feminine and less entitled than the average Western woman. 

LOL funny you mention HK. I never lived in HK but I know at least 2 men who left HK to relocate to the neck of the woods (well, one was Davao) with their maids.

[Gandang Smile]

58 minutes ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

I used to be shocked at the very large number of expats who could not see what their filipina partner was up to when all around them could see it.  Then it happened to me and I realized that love really IS blind, deaf and dumb.  Not only did it happen to me once but it happened to me with a second filipina also.  This third one seems to be the keeper but ya never really know.

Fortunately, I followed all the advice on this forum and never invested more money into the relationships than I could afford to lose.  It was another Expat who screwed me out of my surplus money.

Love is deafer, blinder and dumber if one is sex-starved and eager to conjure up blue skies even when it looks to everybody else that Yolanda is coming.

[hk blues]

9 hours ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

I used to be shocked at the very large number of expats who could not see what their filipina partner was up to when all around them could see it.  Then it happened to me and I realized that love really IS blind, deaf and dumb.  Not only did it happen to me once but it happened to me with a second filipina also.  This third one seems to be the keeper but ya never really know.

Fortunately, I followed all the advice on this forum and never invested more money into the relationships than I could afford to lose.  It was another Expat who screwed me out of my surplus money.

I think we need to take into account levels of deceit, though. There's a difference between someone playing the field a little and taking someone for every peso. I'm not saying either is cool.

 

[Gandang Smile]

1 hour ago, hk blues said:

I think we need to take into account levels of deceit, though. There's a difference between someone playing the field a little and taking someone for every peso. I'm not saying either is cool.

That's true. There is also the nuance that sometimes it's the family that puts undue pressure on their "lucky daughter" to claim something from the foreigner. Sometimes lucky daughter has the balls to stand against them and say no, sometimes she has to bend, sometimes she is 100% colluding with them and gets the most they can.

[BC57]

On 6/26/2021 at 11:00 AM, Gandang Smile said:

1) He is a Catholic and wouldn't wanna do it

2) He is deeply in love with her

3) She is now pregnant

I would have taken the matter more seriously. All I can say on his defence is that he seems to be quite well off, so 13M to him doesn't seem to be a too large sum to make her inlaws happy. 

#1,2,3, so what. He can still support the child but somehow needs to make sure the child is actually being taken care of my the lying wife. She lost all credibility as being a trustworthy wife! He can find a new love in a second in the PH and he will rapidly forget his current wife. If he stays with his wife the day will come when he will looks back and says, I should have left you long ago!

[Old55]

1 hour ago, BC57 said:

#1,2,3, so what. He can still support the child but somehow needs to make sure the child is actually being taken care of my the lying wife. She lost all credibility as being a trustworthy wife! He can find a new love in a second in the PH and he will rapidly forget his current wife. If he stays with his wife the day will come when he will looks back and says, I should have left you long ago!

It's not easy for me to agree with you BC but I think you are correct. Makes it so difficult her having a child. I'd be curious what others think.... Do you leave or stay for your kid? That's a tough call. 

[Dave Hounddriver]

2 hours ago, Old55 said:

Makes it so difficult her having a child. I'd be curious what others think.

I think graham59 already nailed it

On 6/25/2021 at 6:59 PM, graham59 said:

Next....DNA test ? 

 

[GeoffH]

The key to this story is the deception in my opinion.  SWMBO and I chose to look for a house larger than we needed (after the whole condo fiasco) so that her mama and papa could live with us.  I knew that upfront and I get along well with both of them and I actually enjoy having a few people in the house.

[Snowy79]

3 hours ago, Old55 said:

It's not easy for me to agree with you BC but I think you are correct. Makes it so difficult her having a child. I'd be curious what others think.... Do you leave or stay for your kid? That's a tough call. 

Once bitten twice shy as they say.  For me it would be a DNA test then maintenance within the normal ranges and school fees paid direct with visitation rights. I'm old enough and seen too many long term regrets to take any chances. For some girls a baby is their meal ticket to an easy life. I've lived out the best days of my life so at my age I want to surround myself with genuine people.