Finding a girlfriend....

[Snowy79]

6 hours ago, sanagimo said:

how can you do a quick screening to weed out these boiler room girls or guys. Id like to meet a nice girl but I think I have to set my goals lower. Anyhow will be out there soon enough and will listen to you vets like JGF..and yourself. 

Sifting them out is pretty easy if you have your head screwed on. First rule is if they ask for money regardless how stunning you think she is delete her. Second one look up her face book account for family members. If there are none look how many foreigners like or comment on her posts, the more foreigners the more she has been around the block usually. 

If there are family on it check out their Facebooks to see if she has other accounts under different names.  One friend of mine told me the love of his life doesn't do Facebook, within 5 minutes I'd found 4 accounts of hers just by looking up her family members, in two she was married and in one graduated from a university in Cebu even though she left school with no qualiications. . Look for lots of holiday pictures and eating out but she has no job or qualifications. The latest Iphone and again no job.

Tattoos tend to be a give away if she is unemployed and good English with a bit of sarcasm thrown in, nice Filipinos tend to joke about nose bleed when speaking English too much even the city girls. 

The smart scammers won't ask for money they will let you volunteer it, little things like dropping hints they've not eaten today but it's OK they'll be fine, saying they are running out of load to talk but when their friend will give them 10 peso tomorrow, after a few days of talking a family member will have an emergency, graduation fee for a sister, birthday party etc.  

Even once you've done your homework be prepared for surprises as many can play the long game.  I lived with a girl 24/7 for over 2yrs before finishing with her, we had a great life and never once had an argument, we travelled a lot, ate out regularly and appeared very happy, everyone thought we'd marry.  Her attitude changed suddenly and she got very lazy and started disrespecting my friends so he had to go. Fast forward two years and I'm living on the same island as her and get on OK as friends, I have a new partner who she gets on OK with but I'm wary.

I was talking to one of the guys here who has lived on the island over 15yrs and he knows everything that's going on, he admitted he's been screwed over a few times and seen so much he'd never settle down. He was telling me who is sleeping with who behind their husband and partners back and who is scamming foreigners.  I pretended not to know much and mentioned I was talking to one girl the other week who was a bit forward ( my ex ) just fishing for info. I knew she was friends with this guy a I'd seen them cycling in a group.  I tried not to laugh when he told me she was living with a Scottish guy (me) for a few years and was always messaging him with sob stories and drama. The only time I wasn't with her was when I went for a run or a swim. She'd literally give me a kiss on the way out the door and then go straight on the phone trying to get sympathy and money, the only saving grace was he admitted he never slept with her or sent her money.  He still doesn't know I was the Scottish guy but he said there's a group of them all scamming foreigners.  

[baronapart]

4 hours ago, Snowy79 said:

Sifting them out is pretty easy if you have your head screwed on. First rule is if they ask for money regardless how stunning you think she is delete her. Second one look up her face book account for family members. If there are none look how many foreigners like or comment on her posts, the more foreigners the more she has been around the block usually. 

If there are family on it check out their Facebooks to see if she has other accounts under different names.  One friend of mine told me the love of his life doesn't do Facebook, within 5 minutes I'd found 4 accounts of hers just by looking up her family members, in two she was married and in one graduated from a university in Cebu even though she left school with no qualiications. . Look for lots of holiday pictures and eating out but she has no job or qualifications. The latest Iphone and again no job.

Tattoos tend to be a give away if she is unemployed and good English with a bit of sarcasm thrown in, nice Filipinos tend to joke about nose bleed when speaking English too much even the city girls. 

The smart scammers won't ask for money they will let you volunteer it, little things like dropping hints they've not eaten today but it's OK they'll be fine, saying they are running out of load to talk but when their friend will give them 10 peso tomorrow, after a few days of talking a family member will have an emergency, graduation fee for a sister, birthday party etc.  

Even once you've done your homework be prepared for surprises as many can play the long game.  I lived with a girl 24/7 for over 2yrs before finishing with her, we had a great life and never once had an argument, we travelled a lot, ate out regularly and appeared very happy, everyone thought we'd marry.  Her attitude changed suddenly and she got very lazy and started disrespecting my friends so he had to go. Fast forward two years and I'm living on the same island as her and get on OK as friends, I have a new partner who she gets on OK with but I'm wary.

I was talking to one of the guys here who has lived on the island over 15yrs and he knows everything that's going on, he admitted he's been screwed over a few times and seen so much he'd never settle down. He was telling me who is sleeping with who behind their husband and partners back and who is scamming foreigners.  I pretended not to know much and mentioned I was talking to one girl the other week who was a bit forward ( my ex ) just fishing for info. I knew she was friends with this guy a I'd seen them cycling in a group.  I tried not to laugh when he told me she was living with a Scottish guy (me) for a few years and was always messaging him with sob stories and drama. The only time I wasn't with her was when I went for a run or a swim. She'd literally give me a kiss on the way out the door and then go straight on the phone trying to get sympathy and money, the only saving grace was he admitted he never slept with her or sent her money.  He still doesn't know I was the Scottish guy but he said there's a group of them all scamming foreigners.  

Excellent advise here. Especially about foreigners in her FB. That was always an auto-next for me. Really, that is key...never be afraid to just walk away if something doesn't feel right. No matter how much time or money you may have put in.

Edited June 8, 2022 by baronapart

[Jollygoodfellow]

14 hours ago, sanagimo said:

how can you do a quick screening to weed out these boiler room girls or guys. Id like to meet a nice girl but I think I have to set my goals lower.

To me be here and forget the online stuff. True there are good ones around online but is it worth the hassle? Walk around the mall and chat to those who are working and not those who approach you as they are freelancers.

The other way to weed out bad ones is if you meet one you think is good, drop her off at my place for the night so I can interrogate her. Will give you a full report the next day 

[Jollygoodfellow]

12 hours ago, hk blues said:

With the arrangement you have in mind it may be a big ask to find a "nice" girl t.b.h.

I'm thinking you might have members mixed up? 

[sanagimo]

8 hours ago, Jollygoodfellow said:

To me be here and forget the online stuff. True there are good ones around online but is it worth the hassle? Walk around the mall and chat to those who are working and not those who approach you as they are freelancers.

The other way to weed out bad ones is if you meet one you think is good, drop her off at my place for the night so I can interrogate her. Will give you a full report the next day 

Will do

[sanagimo]

15 hours ago, Snowy79 said:

Sifting them out is pretty easy if you have your head screwed on. First rule is if they ask for money regardless how stunning you think she is delete her. Second one look up her face book account for family members. If there are none look how many foreigners like or comment on her posts, the more foreigners the more she has been around the block usually. 

If there are family on it check out their Facebooks to see if she has other accounts under different names.  One friend of mine told me the love of his life doesn't do Facebook, within 5 minutes I'd found 4 accounts of hers just by looking up her family members, in two she was married and in one graduated from a university in Cebu even though she left school with no qualiications. . Look for lots of holiday pictures and eating out but she has no job or qualifications. The latest Iphone and again no job.

Tattoos tend to be a give away if she is unemployed and good English with a bit of sarcasm thrown in, nice Filipinos tend to joke about nose bleed when speaking English too much even the city girls. 

The smart scammers won't ask for money they will let you volunteer it, little things like dropping hints they've not eaten today but it's OK they'll be fine, saying they are running out of load to talk but when their friend will give them 10 peso tomorrow, after a few days of talking a family member will have an emergency, graduation fee for a sister, birthday party etc.  

Even once you've done your homework be prepared for surprises as many can play the long game.  I lived with a girl 24/7 for over 2yrs before finishing with her, we had a great life and never once had an argument, we travelled a lot, ate out regularly and appeared very happy, everyone thought we'd marry.  Her attitude changed suddenly and she got very lazy and started disrespecting my friends so he had to go. Fast forward two years and I'm living on the same island as her and get on OK as friends, I have a new partner who she gets on OK with but I'm wary.

I was talking to one of the guys here who has lived on the island over 15yrs and he knows everything that's going on, he admitted he's been screwed over a few times and seen so much he'd never settle down. He was telling me who is sleeping with who behind their husband and partners back and who is scamming foreigners.  I pretended not to know much and mentioned I was talking to one girl the other week who was a bit forward ( my ex ) just fishing for info. I knew she was friends with this guy a I'd seen them cycling in a group.  I tried not to laugh when he told me she was living with a Scottish guy (me) for a few years and was always messaging him with sob stories and drama. The only time I wasn't with her was when I went for a run or a swim. She'd literally give me a kiss on the way out the door and then go straight on the phone trying to get sympathy and money, the only saving grace was he admitted he never slept with her or sent her money.  He still doesn't know I was the Scottish guy but he said there's a group of them all scamming foreigners.  

Thanks Snowy 79, being part of the lonely hearts club I need this sound advice and perhaps JGF to do a night of screening as well. As they say, once bitten twice shy.. Gonna do my best to take in knowledge before my testing of the waters but I am a SUCKER for a pretty face with a good story,

[sanagimo]

20 hours ago, Freebie said:

Many ways to learn Kinosabi.

A few will to read the forums, watch the youtubes that explain the numerous various and frequent scams.

The first rule is never ever ever send money unless you know the recipeint. Match girls ID with where its being sent. Check the girl really lives where she says she does.

Tell her youve been scammed many times, and as a result you have a padrino in the NBI who will investigate the girl if shes is found to have been lying.

Never send money for a plane ticket, send a ticket you can refund or exchange. 

Or better yet, I was talking to one girl who wanted to come stay with me ( 19 )...I wasnt 1000% sure of the girl and perhaps neither was she/nor her parents  , so I flew to Butuan. Parents interviewed me , I was older than them which was amusing to me, I watched and observed the girl and she came to stay with me for 6 weeks.

Remember , in this country there are thousands  ( and thousands )  of girls....if on doesnt sound right or gives off the wrong vibe, move on.

Get her on video, see her pics, see how she is with others.. if its all selfies and showing off, probably some vain type.  ..Find one who might match .

Finally remember at all times Its your money, you have EVERY right to be cautious with it.

Sound advice Thanks

[Freebie]

14 minutes ago, sanagimo said:

but I am a SUCKER for a pretty face with a good story,

Then you will fit right in with some ladies....prepare to open the wallet and be amazed that carabou really do need gender reassignment  and can you be the one to help please.

[sanagimo]

21 hours ago, hk blues said:

With the arrangement you have in mind it may be a big ask to find a "nice" girl t.b.h.

High expectations or should I say dreaming. Been looking into starting online classes while here in Japan so that I might be able to bring a little work with me the next time round after testing the waters.

[sanagimo]

7 minutes ago, Freebie said:

Then you will fit right in with some ladies....prepare to open the wallet and be amazed that carabou really do need gender reassignment  and can you be the one to help please.

I am glad finding this forum and not going in blind and broken hearted. Which leads me to a topic near and dear to the content of this topic. whats a good age to pursue in the PI? I am as human as the next guy and really admired the original leader of The Church of The Latter-day Saints.. Brigham Young.. Or should I say bring them young!!! I lovely play on names but this nutbar had 21 wives. I here if you want to chase the young ones it will cost you both money and head aches. Dont mind a kid but not a ready made full meal deal. That takes me to the question in general whats a good age. Reference I am 52 with the thinking of a wise 15 year old.