Falling down the rabbit hole.

[hk blues]

13 minutes ago, Freebie said:

You will soon learn that Filipinos can be extremely nosy beyond the point that some of us would call polite or decent .

Its considered a normal question here to ask a person what their salary is, whether they were married before,  ( if not why not ) had kids ( if not why not, anything wrong with you ? )  do you have any diseases etc etc.

Social etiquette and norms do not apply and the further away from the city you go, the more indiscreet the questions become.

It's not just the case with Filipinos though, in Hong Kong they were at least as bad for that.

[sanagimo]

5 hours ago, Freebie said:

You will soon learn that Filipinos can be extremely nosy beyond the point that some of us would call polite or decent .

Its considered a normal question here to ask a person what their salary is, whether they were married before,  ( if not why not ) had kids ( if not why not, anything wrong with you ? )  do you have any diseases etc etc.

Social etiquette and norms do not apply and the further away from the city you go, the more indiscreet the questions become.

I have noticed way out in the countryside or up in the mountains its a whole different way of doing and learned that word MARITES

[sanagimo]

On 8/3/2022 at 6:33 PM, Colsie said:

There is a big difference between visiting the province and living in the province. 

To live there you're going to have rent or buy or build a house. Not just a low cost simple wooden house unless you want to be injured or die when a typhoon or other natural calamity strikes. Then there's the lack of services in the provinces, brown outs and water outages. Internet service can be terrible and as for hospitals...anyway, you may not have the same fondness if you experience living in the province. There's good things and bad things. 

Now then... Young province girl will be all about family. There's an expat saying, live in province atleast two islands away from her family or the idyllic girl to have is an orphan. Joking aside, living with your girl near her family will impact your finances to some degree. I don't mean that they maliciously target your wallet, but in many cases the poverty here in the Philippines means that you'll probably want your girlfriend to be happy and she will want to help her family if needed. There are ways to reduce the risk of costs due to family, but it's likely harder if they live close. 

The young province girl is unlikely to be a professional on a high salary, more likely she will have no income. That's were you will come in as source of emotion and financial security. After all she's bringing the best years (most attractive) years of her life to the party... 

So even now, with the pure of heart kind of girl, you'll be getting the jist of what's expected. There's another type of girl that's spent way too long working the bars that would try to manipulate you (and other guys, probably at the same time) to simply relieve of your hard earned finances. 

To the point, can it be real. Yes, it definitely can be real but what are your expections of "real" and how much time and financial commitment can you give? 

The choice is yours, buy or rent... 

i really appreciate your advice

[Snowy79]

12 minutes ago, sanagimo said:

I have noticed way out in the countryside or up in the mountains its a whole different way of doing and learned that word MARITES

The good thing about Filipinos is if you forget what you did last week just ask a local, they'll know.  Sometimes they'll even know what you've done before you do it. 

[Kingpin]

On 8/3/2022 at 6:33 PM, Colsie said:

 the idyllic girl to have is an orphan. Joking aside

That ain't no joke.

Once a daughter expresses interest in a foreigner, mothers see dollar signs. Soon, the extended family sees dollar signs. The daughter isn't going to choose you over her family (although it may seem that way at first), and you will be obligated and responsible for supporting her family. The uncle who needs electric, the auntie who needs a sack of rice, the grandparents in the province who need "heart medicine", if an eternity of that doesn't sound like something you're interested in, find one without a family. Or least, with the smallest family possible.

Easiest thing in the world to find an attractive Filipina interested in you, the challenge is to find the rare one that doesn't come with responsibilities of her own.

 

[Mike J]

17 hours ago, Freebie said:

Social etiquette and norms do not apply and the further away from the city you go, the more indiscreet the questions become.

We live in Moalboal, a small town.  Last week I was buying a few groceries and this is the conversation with the young man bagging the groceries.

Bag guy - Do you live in Moalboal Sir?

Me - Yes, nine years now.  The Philippines is my home now.

B - You are married to a Filipina?

M - Yes, 17 years.

B - You have children?

M - No.

B - Why no children?

M - I am too old, 72, my wife is 55

B - Ah, okay, she is menopausal already. 

 The young lady doing the check out looks shocked and like she would die of embarrassment until I started laughing.  Then she started to laugh and the bagging guy just sort of looked confused.  In the USA the conversation would be considered nosy, rude, inconsiderate, none of his business.  Here it was a normal conversation I have had many many times except for the menopausal comment.   That was new for sure. 

[Dave Hounddriver]

53 minutes ago, Mike J said:

In the USA the conversation would be considered nosy, rude, inconsiderate, none of his business.

Interesting.  I am not trying to be rude, but I found the average American expat (not all but many) to ask many personal questions of other expats that I considered none of their business.  I was told by many of my friends that this was just the way things are where they come from.  I learned to avoid questions from US expats like "How much do you make" or "What's your monthly budget" and when the gentlemen were insistent I just made up a number that was less than I suspected they had and that made them happy.  I found this worked with most personal questions but not all.  

[Mike J]

32 minutes ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

Interesting.  I am not trying to be rude, but I found the average American expat (not all but many) to ask many personal questions of other expats that I considered none of their business.  I was told by many of my friends that this was just the way things are where they come from.  I learned to avoid questions from US expats like "How much do you make" or "What's your monthly budget" and when the gentlemen were insistent I just made up a number that was less than I suspected they had and that made them happy.  I found this worked with most personal questions but not all.  

Odd, my experience with American expats is just the opposite.  Seldom if ever will they ask personal questions.   I have never had one ask about budgets, did have an Aussie ask how much the house cost.  Maybe I give off a different vibration that puts people off? 

[Dave Hounddriver]

1 hour ago, Mike J said:

Odd, my experience with American expats is just the opposite.

Yeah, like I said I was not trying to be rude.  I must have hung out with the wrong ones.

[hk blues]

12 hours ago, Kingpin said:

That ain't no joke.

Once a daughter expresses interest in a foreigner, mothers see dollar signs. Soon, the extended family sees dollar signs. The daughter isn't going to choose you over her family (although it may seem that way at first), and you will be obligated and responsible for supporting her family. The uncle who needs electric, the auntie who needs a sack of rice, the grandparents in the province who need "heart medicine", if an eternity of that doesn't sound like something you're interested in, find one without a family. Or least, with the smallest family possible.

Easiest thing in the world to find an attractive Filipina interested in you, the challenge is to find the rare one that doesn't come with responsibilities of her own.

 

You've described a common enough scenario but it's not the only one - plenty of us have a different experience and let's keep our fingers crossed that our friend will be one of those.