Question about Filipina mother.

Recommended Posts

hk blues
Posted
Posted
On 11/3/2022 at 10:44 AM, Ariella said:

So i would like to know if it's normal and what should he do ? 

Cutting to the chase, yes, it's normal.  What should he do?  Well, as the father he is responsible for the upbringing of his kids so he should continue to do so.  And that's just from a moral perspective, the law also requires him to do so but, as others have said, it's a law which may not be applied much if at all.

Many couples in your situation are in the same boat, with the (usually) male partner having to pay maintenance to the mother which puts a strain on the finances of the new relationship.  If he can afford to keep paying whatever he is, then he should do so.  If he cannot, then he should agree on a new amount that he can afford.

Being brutally honest, you will simply have to accept it's the way it will continue to be or move on.  

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Peaceful John
Posted
Posted

I agree with most all here Ariella, this is very normal, and there will most likely never, ever be a solution until the children are adults and on their own (that's if they actually move out of their parents' home when they become adults. That's another norm here that many live with their parents indefinitely.)  And let there be very little doubt, they ARE still MARRIED and will most likely continue to be married for most of their lives.  But I must go back to "Baronaparts" question, "Have you actually met this gentleman in person, face to face?  Please forgive me if my opinion is not favorable, but it really seems like he may not be giving you the "whole story".  There should be no doubt in his mind that this lady is not fit to be the mother stuffed teddy bear, more or less his children.  She has proven that the children come last on her list of priorities.  And then there's his parents, WOW, they don't even know when someone has moved into their house.  Again, there must be something missing from his story.    My advice to you, personally, is to RUN, and run as fast as you can.  If you desire a life with any future and rainbows, chances are you will never see it with this gentleman because what little he makes will go to the children (and what his wife can milk out of him), and trust me, I'm a father of 3 and as they get older, it gets more and more expensive.  It might hurt a little to walk away now, but I assure you that one day soon you will be happy you did.  But if you choose to stick it out with him, be prepared for a meager life of drama with very few tangible rewards. Again, please forgive this rather direct, assuming response, but after raising 2 daughters, my response to you is as I is as I would respond to them.  I wish you the best with whatever you decide and may God Bless you both.  :goodluck_80_anim_gif:

John

One last suggestion........ if you haven't met him face to face, or if you have the slightest doubts regarding his story, PLEASE PLEASE stop giving him money.  If he is truly the good man you think he is, he would never ask you for money in the first place and furthermore, it shows a lot about his character that he would accept this money from you.  Best wishes. jws

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Clermont
Posted
Posted

Somewhere in my reading I think the mother has the responsibility of the children until the age of about 8/9 then the father can get responsibility for them and quickly, she’s got another kid, not hard to prove she’s not faithful. But just to be safe, find another fellow, I think he’s full of the proverbial as he’d know the law and he’s taking you for a ride. Weigh up what you just wrote 15k is all he can send back, the figures don’t add up for a foreign worker. Sorry if I sound rude but life’s like that, good luck and welcome to the forum.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hk blues
Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Peaceful John said:

...And let there be very little doubt, they ARE still MARRIED and will most likely continue to be married for most of their lives. 

PLEASE PLEASE stop giving him money

To be fair to both of them, she has already clarified they (the BF and his ex-partner) are not married and never have been - just in a relationship.  Also, I think we are all assuming the poster is giving the BF money but I don't think this is stated in the posts.

 

 

  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Jack Peterson
Posted
Posted

 I tend not to say much about personal relationships anymore BUT to me I see Bay Area Inno - Six red flags that send investors running the other way

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

baronapart
Posted
Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, hk blues said:

To be fair to both of them, she has already clarified they (the BF and his ex-partner) are not married and never have been - just in a relationship.  Also, I think we are all assuming the poster is giving the BF money but I don't think this is stated in the posts.

.

From her first post:

"Sometimes he didn't even have enough money to feed himself, he gave everything to his children and I had to help him." 

Edited by baronapart
  • Like 1
  • Thanks 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

hk blues
Posted
Posted
13 hours ago, baronapart said:

.

From her first post:

"Sometimes he didn't even have enough money to feed himself, he gave everything to his children and I had to help him." 

Cheers - I missed that despite looking through the posts again and again and again! 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...