Girlfriends family

[Nickleback99]

12 minutes ago, Jollygoodfellow said:

Be good if you could learn how to break it up as I could not read it and I'm sure others wont bother. 

ENTER on the keyboard drops the line down. 

THanks for the advice JG.    I'm obviously starved for conversation this morning on 3rd cup.  

[hk blues]

8 years in and zero requests for 'money gifts'  or the like. Sure, infrequent requests for loans but I mean LOANS which were ALWAYS paid back as agreed. I will add my wife is not a very sociable woman so that definitely helps. 

I did make my mark in the sand very, very quickly with the family in terms of money but It has never been tested.

Oh, and being Scottish helps! Joking apart - is it possible that not being American helps? Yes, I know we joke that the locals think we're all American but they really don't, they just use the 'Americano' tag for convenience.  

I dunno but I do know neither me nor my wife have been troubled in terms of monet requests.

[Viking]

8 hours ago, hk blues said:

8 years in and zero requests for 'money gifts'  or the like. Sure, infrequent requests for loans but I mean LOANS which were ALWAYS paid back as agreed. 

This sounds almost unbelievable to me.

Are you sure you are in the Philippines??? 😉

[Mike J]

12 hours ago, Viking said:

This sounds almost unbelievable to me.

Are you sure you are in the Philippines??? 😉

Or maybe he has gone deaf and didn't realize it. 

[Viking]

3 hours ago, Mike J said:

Or maybe he has gone deaf and didn't realize it. 

I am half deaf but unfortunately, I can still hear "where is my gift 🎁" hahaha.

 

[hk blues]

17 hours ago, Viking said:

This sounds almost unbelievable to me.

Are you sure you are in the Philippines??? 😉

I know, I know! Hand on heart, it's 100% true. 

I will say though, that we both keep ourselves to ourselves and my wife is not one for showing off or trying to elevate herself or us in the eyes of those around us and her family in particular.  She has a Facebook account but almost never posts photos etc etc.  We don't even own a car because we don't need one so that also creates a certain perception amongst folk around us.  As I've said numerous times on this forum, when we came here we consciously avoided being generous with family members as we knew it would be the thin end of the wedge.  

As for the loans - it's simple enough and I'm constantly bemused by the view of many of the forum members that a loan is always a gift here,  It doesn't have to be unless you are careless in who you "lend" to.  At this moment, I have an outstanding loan which has been 50% repaid and will be 100% repaid in the next couple of months.  Another is a sizable amount for a medical bill which was given 100% my choice (yes, really) and will be repaid once the family member starts work abroad again.

I'll also throw in the old adage - Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me.  

Apologies If I've gone on a bit, Viking,  but I suspect I am not alone here in not having any problem with such stuff and indeed often wonder If I'm living in an alternative Philippines to, it seems, most of the posters on the forum. Which brings me back to my original question - to what extent does location impact on these kinds of things?  Are "smaller-town" folk simply more honourable and less likely to take advantage?  

 

[BrettGC]

I have no doubt it's happening to us as well, but as I said in a previous post, I leave that up to my wife, so for the most part I'm unaware of it. Except for the most ludicrous: 

There was one incident over the holiday period where about 10-15 family members from my late father-in-law's side showed up from Sipalay, about a 5 hour drive on a good day, without any notice.  I've never met my FiL, noone had seen anyone from that area for about 5 years.  I'm surrounded by extended family from my MiL's (Momma) and FiL's family on a normal daily basis - they all live within 5 mins drive with some next door and a couple of houses away.  The Sipalay "branch" of the family showed up, so I made myself scarce to see how things would play out. The local family members fed them, had a beer or rum with them, and then said farewell.  Apparently they insisted on receiving "gifts" before departure.  Momma gave them a couple of the charity bags AM and her sister had made up for the local church and expected that to be the end of it.  They hung around doe-eyed and sad with expectent looks on their faces until 2 of my BiL's and SiL saw them off with some persuasive but friendly goodbyes.  It turns out they'd asked for up to 500PHP each.  What makes it ludicrous to my mind is the fact that they were my FiL's cousins.  I know I shouldn't be surprised, but...

Call me paranoid, but given that this is the first Christmas I've spent with the family, I think I can safely say that the timing was not a coincidence.  

I did get a chuckle out of it all though.. 

Other than that, can't say we've had any other "issues" with regards to the Chrismas "gift giving".  All the local family members even contributed with either money or food to the family Christmas and New Year's Eve feasts that we hosted.

[OnMyWay]

50 minutes ago, BrettGC said:

until 2 of my BiL's and SiL saw them off with some persuasive but friendly goodbyes.

[Possum]

On 1/7/2023 at 9:30 PM, hk blues said:

8 years in and zero requests for 'money gifts'  or the like. Sure, infrequent requests for loans but I mean LOANS which were ALWAYS paid back as agreed. I will add my wife is not a very sociable woman so that definitely helps. 

I did make my mark in the sand very, very quickly with the family in terms of money but It has never been tested.

Oh, and being Scottish helps! Joking apart - is it possible that not being American helps? Yes, I know we joke that the locals think we're all American but they really don't, they just use the 'Americano' tag for convenience.  

I dunno but I do know neither me nor my wife have been troubled in terms of monet requests.

My experience has been the same. In the beginning I was asked for money a couple of times by immediate family members. I told them to go ask my wife. The response from the prospective recipient was 'never mind' or 'that's OK. Yes, she's thrifty and has a highly tuned BS detector. On occasion she reminds me of the BS detector.

[Viking]

7 hours ago, hk blues said:

Apologies If I've gone on a bit, Viking,  but I suspect I am not alone here in not having any problem with such stuff and indeed often wonder If I'm living in an alternative Philippines to, it seems, most of the posters on the forum. Which brings me back to my original question - to what extent does location impact on these kinds of things?  Are "smaller-town" folk simply more honourable and less likely to take advantage?  

 

No need to apologize, but I am a bit jealous of your situation, lol.

We have also kept a low profile, no car, no flashing with fancy expensive stuff and no posting of pictures on fb.

However, my wife has been a bit soft before, but now all expenses go through me and if someone wants anything they have to ask me. 

Miracles actually do happen! Today I received the first installment from a loan I have given to a relative. That was a new experience, hahaha. We will see if that's the only one or if the loan will be fully repaid.

My wife has experienced it once during the 25+ years we have been together.

I actually do think people are more honourable in the province or in small towns.