Need Help With Karaoke

[mountainside]

A few years ago my Filipina and I were taking an afternoon stroll around our SBFZ neighborhood when a roofing crew on a neighbor’s house hollered out “Kenny Rogers!”

I’m a long-nosed white-skinned guy with grey hair and a grey beard..  So I loudly belted out a few lines from “Know when to hold ‘em”  and they damn near fell off the roof in laughter.

Not because I can sing – just don’t have the gift.  But I gave a true shot at “karaoke” and we all had a fun moment with it.  So far I’ve dodged the karaoke bullet with my wife’s family, but that ain’t gonna last forever.  When we return to the Phils there’s a realistic chance that I’ll be welcomed at a family event like that depicted below.  I’ll be warmly greeted, issued my uniform shirt, and sooner or later I’ll find a microphone in my hand.  What the hey – I’ll give it a try – hopefully sober.

So here’s where I can use some help: anyone know of some short talk-it-through numbers I can recite while doing my Michael Jackson dance steps?  Gravelly voice with no range?  Maybe a one-and-done and I’m free for the night?

Jenny's Zamboanga Family.pdf

[Freebie]

When they used to collar me at staff parties in Manila ( 500 staff ) or Taipei ( 1000 plus staff ) Id opt for a nice slow Elvis song that I could basically speak/sing too

 

"Wise me say, Only fools rush in etc ".. and of course Id signal that  Im singing the song to the oldest member of staff making gooey eyes at her, ...the crowd loved that and thankfully it was One And Done for me.

[hk blues]

2 hours ago, mountainside said:

A few years ago my Filipina and I were taking an afternoon stroll around our SBFZ neighborhood when a roofing crew on a neighbor’s house hollered out “Kenny Rogers!”

I’m a long-nosed white-skinned guy with grey hair and a grey beard..  So I loudly belted out a few lines from “Know when to hold ‘em”  and they damn near fell off the roof in laughter.

Not because I can sing – just don’t have the gift.  But I gave a true shot at “karaoke” and we all had a fun moment with it.  So far I’ve dodged the karaoke bullet with my wife’s family, but that ain’t gonna last forever.  When we return to the Phils there’s a realistic chance that I’ll be welcomed at a family event like that depicted below.  I’ll be warmly greeted, issued my uniform shirt, and sooner or later I’ll find a microphone in my hand.  What the hey – I’ll give it a try – hopefully sober.

So here’s where I can use some help: anyone know of some short talk-it-through numbers I can recite while doing my Michael Jackson dance steps?  Gravelly voice with no range?  Maybe a one-and-done and I’m free for the night?

Jenny's Zamboanga Family.pdf 550.75 kB · 2 downloads

My only advice is to change your status from 'hopefully sober' to 'hopelessly drunk!' It won't make you sound any better to anyone but yourself but hey ho.

Edited March 10, 2023 by hk blues

[JJReyes]

To avoid karaoke, learn to sign just one song and learn to sing it bad.  They will stop asking you to participate.

[GeoffH]

My goto song is Take Me Home Country Roads by John Denver, that normally goes down pretty well (my voice isn't terrible but nothing special).

Having sung that I can generally get out of any more singing for the night haha

[BrettGC]

Easiest songs to carry for guys are the ones without much variation in tone that stay in one octave.  Most songs by Pearl Jam (Better Man is awesome) and Billy Idol (White Wedding), your Kenny Rogers is another great one.  Frankie Valli's "Can't Take My Eyes off of You" is another classic that's easy to sing.  

I quite like the karaoke events around here, couple of Red Horse or Tanduay and laughs with the locals and family.  They're pretty considerate in that it's not obnoxiously loud and normally wraps up by 9pm. 

Oh yeah, just don't sing Frank Sinatra's "My Way".  Why?  The Philippine My Way Killings:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Way_killings

Here's a list of easy to sing stuff:  https://singking.com/blog/40-easy-karaoke-songs-for-males/

[Gator]

You could go Arlo Guthrie on them and sing “Alice’s Restaurant”. For kicks, and likely a good laugh from the audience, you can substitute the hosts name for Alice’s name. Get them to join in and might even drown out your voice. 

[BrettGC]

23 minutes ago, Gator said:

You could go Arlo Guthrie on them and sing “Alice’s Restaurant”. For kicks, and likely a good laugh from the audience, you can substitute the hosts name for Alice’s name. Get them to join in and might even drown out your voice. 

Just listened to the full 18 minute version of it.. Love it!

[JJReyes]

My off key go to karaoke song is, "Happy Birthday to You."  Never been asked to sign it twice.

[Snowy79]

I was heading out to a restaurant that I'd been promising myself I'd try for almost 3yrs. A few days back was that day, I headed there with couple of friends and my partner all excited and as I approached someone sounded like they were killing a cat. Sure enough there was the TV and huge speakers and a couple of Filipinos. My friends and me just looked at each other, shook our heads and walked away.