Being Civil ?

[not so old china hand]

Quote

 

Now that summer is here I look forward to seeing a better class of beggar. Like swallows they come from the south for the summer. Girls in their teens or twenties, well but not flashily dressed and apparently well fed, they work in pairs or threes.

The dialogue goes as follows "Excuse me uncle", their English is pretty good as well. Punter stops and gives an avuncular smile thinking that they are going to ask for directions. Or, if that way inclined, he might hope that he is going to be propositioned.

"Uncle we are very hungry." Pause. "Please give us money."

Depending on my mood I either say "no" politely or offer to buy them something to eat. The offer of food is turned down with distain. At which point I make my excuses and leave.

I am still at a loss as to their motivation. They are obviously not starving. They appear to come from good homes and with their demeanour and level of English should have no problem getting a job I a restaurant. The best guess I can make. Is they are students who, bored during the vacation look on this as a game and a way of augmenting their allowance.

[davewe]

I usually think of myself as being pretty civil and throw out plenty of "no thank yous." Now inside I may be thinking "f-you" but on the outside I try to be polite. Frankly it's not just Filipinos or kids I have to do that with but some of the Caucasian beggars or drunks I see. 

I suppose the exception is when I get asked the same thing 5 or 10 times. I still try to throw out a "no thank you" but I am sure it comes off as abrupt. Also, sometimes I think (perhaps correctly and perhaps not) that the same person just asked me 5 minutes before. That can be annoying.

My wife on the other hand feels no need to hide her annoyance, whether she replies in Visayan or English.  OTOH, even she would not dare curse or show genuine anger toward a stranger in the Philippines. Well the exception might be a taxi driver trying to overcharge us. I may not understand the Visayan she is speaking but I know it's not "no thank you." 

Edited June 20, 2016 by davewe

[Nephi]

5 hours ago, Jollygoodfellow said:

Here, take a look. I added more instructions even though I have done somewhere before. 

 

 

Thanks.. I'll e sure to use that next time.

[Nephi]

2 hours ago, Tukaram (Tim) said:

When I was vacationing in Cebu back 2011 (before moving over here) I brought bags of Halloween candy with me, and my Santa Claus hat.  It was the week of christmas after all.  I gave out lots of candy to all the kids. One group of street kids that was friendly kind of adopted me. There was a girl about 12 that seemed to be in charge of the others.  She would flag down taxis for me, and had the other kids run block to keep other gangs from bothering me. They kept the other kids away... thus getting more candy for themselves ha ha. They were alright. 

This kid begged me to take his pic. He thought it was the funniest thing ever...

   

That's cool and looks like great fun! If we all had the $$$ of a lottery winnings we could really make a difference for a lot of kids. I think the VFW post in 
Angeles does something like that if I'm not mistaken.

[robert k]

5 hours ago, not so old china hand said:

Now that summer is here I look forward to seeing a better class of beggar. Like swallows they come from the south for the summer. Girls in their teens or twenties, well but not flashily dressed and apparently well fed, they work in pairs or threes.

The dialogue goes as follows "Excuse me uncle", their English is pretty good as well. Punter stops and gives an avuncular smile thinking that they are going to ask for directions. Or, if that way inclined, he might hope that he is going to be propositioned.

"Uncle we are very hungry." Pause. "Please give us money."

Depending on my mood I either say "no" politely or offer to buy them something to eat. The offer of food is turned down with distain. At which point I make my excuses and leave.

I am still at a loss as to their motivation. They are obviously not starving. They appear to come from good homes and with their demeanour and level of English should have no problem getting a job I a restaurant. The best guess I can make. Is they are students who, bored during the vacation look on this as a game and a way of augmenting their allowance.

It's everywhere. In the US I was shopping inside a chain store and had a young woman of about 20 approach and ask me if she can ask me something. I thought of saying she just did, but I just told her to go ahead. She told me it was embarrassing. I told her I wouldn't judge. She asked me for $20. At that point taking in her good clothes, impeccable manicure and painted nails, very nice shoes, designer jeans and jewelry, I told her I may look like A daddy, but I'm not "your" daddy.

I started to tell her about a job where young women ask men twice their age for money called stripping, but I figure she had already heard of it.

[frosty (chris)]

I remember many years ago when we would visit Hong Kong before the Chinese took over the beggars there, one old lady would sit in the underground entrance to the MRT and cry for 10 hours straight, others were amputees that had a very distasteful looking yellowish paste on their stump that they would show you, but they never were aggressive, I was told that the Triad gangs used to run them, whether it was true or not I don't know. Same as in Bali, the beggars there always have young babies on their hips, again I was told these people were gang controlled and they actually rent the babies so they can get more sympathy when begging.

[Old55]

1 hour ago, frosty (chris) said:

 beggars there always have young babies on their hips, again I was told these people were gang controlled and they actually rent the babies so they can get more sympathy when begging.

Exactly the same as in Cebu City. 

[Old55]

I was seated in a small restobar on the water in Moalboal. I made my order and a guy with trinkets came up to me with the hard sell would not go away. I told the waiter owner whatever ether the sales guy goes or I go. He said "you already ordered". I got up and walked out. You just can't fix stupid.

[mogo51]

There is no need for you to be 'sorry' about a basic like manners Jack. Dave, I think if we keep being polite when confronted, just perhaps a little might wear off on them? IMO

[Dave Hounddriver]

2 hours ago, mogo51 said:

Dave, I think if we keep being polite when confronted, just perhaps a little might wear off on them?

Canadians are usually renowned for that attitude.  But some filipinos see it as a sign of weakness.  There are times when politeness simply does not work and you need to fight back.  I have had a couple of instances where I tried the "No thank you" and the "please don't do that" routine right up until they decided I was not going to respond in any kind of rude way so they each (this is 2 different times I a talking about), put their hand in my pocket to see what they could take.  About then I decided to be rude.  Now I am rude much earlier in the encounter.  I don't want to be this guy: