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The Grass Is Greener

Dave Hounddriver

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As this is my first attempt at making a blog entry, I would appreciate any advice about 'How to do it right'

But this entry is about filipinas who see the grass is greener in the other pasture.  It is about my good friend and neighbor whose live in girlfriend left him last night.  Why did she do that?  It was not about age gap, although there is one.  It was not about being treated bad, they are a great couple.  It is about money.

There are no names used here because the story has been told so many times you can insert any name you like.  I am telling it now because it is close to home.  Di (a generic filipina name for a girl) had a hard life before moving in with Joe (a generic name for an American).  Joe treated her well.  She treated Joe well.  Di could not get a job in the Philippines because she is deaf in one ear.  To get a job here you need to be in great health.

Joe gives Di an allowance of 4k Pesos a month that she can spend anyway she likes.  Her family found out when she gets it and how much it is and, amazingly enough, there always seems to be a family emergency on Di's allowance day that needs 4K to rectify.

The problems arose when Di started talking to other girls who have wealthier boyfriends.  Some of these other girls have 2 or more 'boyfriends' who are really online chat mates who send money on a regular basis.  These girls are really, really good at lying.  They are also really good at manipulating men into sending money.  The girls don't ask for it.  In fact they sometimes tell the online friends NOT to send money because they know that encourages trust and, eventually, more more money gets sent.

So last night Di has an argument about money with Joe.  She is upset because her family takes all of her allowance and her friends are getting so much money for just showing their t*t* online to some foreigner.  Most relationships have money issues at some point.  THIS relationship ended last night because the grass is greener online.

So if you are reading this and just met a new, online friend who is about 22 and beautiful and nice and had no boyfriend, come on over and I'll introduce you to her ex.  He's a real nice guy.  If you want to help him save his relationship, stop sending money to girls you only know from online chats.  



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Hi Dave, great to have you on here and you brought up some very good points, and let me say that it appears you do not need any help with making blogs. :541:It always amazes me how anyone would send large amounts of money to someone they have not met and do not really know, when they would never do the same back home if a girl asked them to. I can see it now, one of them is given a phone number or chat contact to a girl back home and before they meet in person they talk on the phone or chat with them and she asks him for a large amount of  money and he gives it to her, NOT! because it would probably never happen back home, yet many of these same men do not seem to understand that many people in the PHL only earn about the equivalent of 3 top 5 dollars US a day and many of those people have a college education and work at an ordinary job, yet these same guys send them $20, $50 or $100 at a clip, because to them it is less than a days salary, while not understanding that it might be a week or months salary to the average working person in the PHL. I know the above happens because I have heard it time and time again from people who ask me for advice in emails, private messages or on the phone and wonder why the girls and their family that they finally go over to meet are gold diggers or become gold diggers. These people make their own beds and then wonder why their relationships fail. Now I am not saying your friend did this, No, I am agreeing that the guys who send money to people they do not even know are spoiling and ruining the women for others, and for themselves. I believe it is OK to send small amounts of money once a person knows a woman for a month or two of chat daily and that money IMO should only be enough to cover her communications with him, since it cost the equivalent of maybe 30 to 50 cents or less for her to talk to him with a webcam for an hour, but beyond that they are spoiling it for themselves and everyone else IMO.I will take this one step farther and tell guys to keep in mind the cost of life in the PHL verses the gifts they give family, because those gifts will probably set the pace for the rest of your life and I know a number of guys who were way too generous to family members at the beginning, and then they did not understand the incessant demands for cash once they married their gf's. One of my friends bought a TV, a refrigerator, a VCR with DVD player for the family and a used Jeepney for the dad, and all in the week he met his lady, and then he used to complain to me almost weekly that they kept asking for large sums of money for so called emergencies or expensive gifts after he married her and brought her back to the states. They are now divorced, as are many I know who spoiled the girl and her family up front. I am not saying all will end up divorced, but treat her and her family the way you intend to treat them the rest of their lives and if you are rich and want to spoil them all, then please keep in mind that we are not all rich and you may also be spoiling it for many of us with your lavish gifts.  So all, as Dave said, do not send money, and I will add, until you meet the lady and even then keep the money reasonable for what is earned in the PHL.  Dave I am sorry to hear about your friend and his lady and I only hope she will wake up before it is too late.

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Thanks for your comments and insight MrLee. I should also mention that my friend is on a pension of approximately 1,000 US a month so when he gives an "allowance" to his girlfriend it is actually 10% of what he gets AND he pays all the expenses. I mention this for anyone reading in another country who feels "Joe" wasn't giving enough and thus she may have had reason to look for a greener pasture.Let me also mention that you can never give enough to a money motivated girl. She will always assume there is more to be had, at least that is what I have noticed.

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Thanks for your comments and insight MrLee.  I should also mention that my friend is on a pension of approximately 1,000 US a month so when he gives an "allowance" to his girlfriend it is actually 10% of what he gets AND he pays all the expenses.  I mention this for anyone reading in another country who feels "Joe" wasn't giving enough and thus she may have had reason to look for a greener pasture.Let me also mention that you can never give enough to a money motivated girl.  She will always assume there is more to be had, at least that is what I have noticed.
Very true and that is why it is very important to find a lady who is not driven by money, but even then it is often hard to find a good lady whose family will not think we are all rich. One member Traveler recently went back to the US for the same reason, his $1000 SS montly check was not enough to live the life he wished to live and his girlfriends parents kept wanting money from her, so possibly Joe's girlfriends problem was also her families continual pressure on her, which to me is truly sad because even at $1000 a month, both Traveler and Joe could have at least given their ladies a better life, if not for the families. 

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Thanks for your comments and insight MrLee. I should also mention that my friend is on a pension of approximately 1,000 US a month so when he gives an "allowance" to his girlfriend it is actually 10% of what he gets AND he pays all the expenses. I mention this for anyone reading in another country who feels "Joe" wasn't giving enough and thus she may have had reason to look for a greener pasture.Let me also mention that you can never give enough to a money motivated girl. She will always assume there is more to be had, at least that is what I have noticed.
I tried living on $1000 a month & with the lower exchange rate there was little that I could give to the lady I liked for her family so it caused me lots of problems too & I gave up & went back to the US to work some more & try to save some more & I found it less expensive to live here then there. for me it was not so much the women but their family pressuring them for money coz they were with me. I know there has to be some great women there who can stand up to their families but I could not find 1 yet. I wish your friend good luck & feel he is better off without his girlfriend if she is like that.

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Update:The grass really is greener for some girls. Here is what happened since I wrote this blog.My friend found another live in girlfriend within days. She treats him well and he is quite happy with her. Only time will tell if she will go looking for greener pastures one day.The girl who left him found a European boy friend who would bring her to his hotel for sex, give her a cell phone load and jeepney fare home. That lasted a week before she realized it was going no where. Then this week she latched onto an older, wealthier, Australian man who wined and dined her, promised her the moon and gave her lots of money to be sure her family could have a nice Christmas. (More than most here can afford to give but he is just visiting). He promises to come back in January and send lots of money in the meanwhile. She is in love with him now. (This kind of Richard Gere wanna be sure makes things difficult for us ordinary folk.)The girl's roommate, the one who instigated all this, is still collecting money from a couple of foreign, Internet 'boyfriends' while she gets her physical needs met from a local boy.So it seems that everyone is getting what they deserve and the world continues to turn.

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Yep, thats really common-girls making lots of money online here and the guys in the states and other places just keep sending it.Somehow I got lucky years ago and married a great Filipina and still live (retired) here in the islands (sure beats Calif.!)Money has never been an issue in our marriage. We live completely on under $150us (one hundred fifty) per month by choice and have no problems. Or 3rd grade daughter even attends a private school and thats included in the under $1150.00 budget.Dave, your handle is Hound driver. Are you pushing a grey dog across the country? Jst wondering as I drove bus and semi all over the 11 western for years.Gene

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Oops my fingers hit the wrong keys. Last post should read: Our 3rd grade daughter even attends a private school and thats included in the under $ 150.00 dollar budget...

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Dave, your handle is Hound driver. Are you pushing a grey dog across the country? Jst wondering as I drove bus and semi all over the 11 western for years.Gene
Yep almost 30 years and then retired. Actually they got ticked off and said I quit because I had only 28 and 1/2 years in but . . well I met a girl in the Philippines and .. well you know.

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