Culture Clash. "the Kano Effect" Experiances

[Old55]

Curious what other guys thought during their first visit to Philippines or when way out in da Providence and you have become the "big show"?This topic suggested by KanoJoe. :mocking:

[Tatoosh]

I became the primary supplier of 3 peso ice cream cones to the neighborhood kids. I, however, refused to become the primary supplier of beer to their parents. Which meant I was far less popular with the adults. So it goes.

[Salty Dog]

I lived in Bacon, in Sorsogon Province for a few months. Never saw another expat the whole time there. Unlike here in Dumaguete, there were very few people who spoke fluent English. I would have to say it was a lot harder for me to get use to living there, than for the people there to get use to living with me around. I think my size was the thing that they most noticed. 5' 10" and about 125 kilos, I was more than twice the size of everyone else. Bing had her own small one room house with the bathroom (cr) in a tent like structure just out the back door. It was next door to her sister, her other sister, her other sister, her father, her brother and assorted uncles and cousins. I think you get the drift.The toilet was my first shock. Where is the tank, the seat, the paper, is my big butt :1927_: going to fit on that little bowl, will it hold me, and what is that bucket and scoop for.Next was the shower or lack if one and again with the scoop, but instead of a bucket, large plastic trash cans full of water. No way am I going to fit in one of those cans and besides the water is freezing. Just glad Bing introduced me to the local custom of taking showers together to conserve waster :dance: But the hardest thing to get used to was the incisive heat. I'm from Florida. Lived in Georgia and Louisiana so I'm no stranger to heat. But never really had to spend 24 hours a day in it. Especially sleeping in it. That's what they invented air conditioning for.We added a porch, kitchen and cr to the house. Upgraded electrical and plumbing. Got my shower, but same toilet bowl :no:. All total it cost less than P100,000. Her youngest sister, her husband and two children lives there now and she is so happy to have indoor kitchen and cr.Unlike many expats I had no problem eating exclusively Filipino food. It was a good thing because the only western food they had was Jolly Bees :mocking: . When I went back to the US for a few months, my doctor said I was in the best health I had been in five years. I had also lost over 10 kilos.As for the most important aspect, the family, well I couldn't have asked for a better one. The only time someone ever asked for money was for a few pesos for some cigarettes for Dad. When I came back from the US I brought digital cameras for her younger sisters families and a watch for her brother and father. Nothing fancy and they were very appreciable. If I saw something that needed fixing or replacing, I would buy it, but I'm talking about just a few hundred peso most of the time. They never came to depend on me to pay for anything. Once they saw how much I loved their sister/daughter, they accepted me into the family and it's been great. I help out when needed, but again it's rare for someone to ask for any money at all. Except for one brother who owns his own barbershop, everyone of her family lives on less than P200-P300 a day. Sometimes much less.The best part I've saved for last. Bing. She doesn't seem to fit the typical definition I often see of a young Filipina. She is independent. She moved away from home when she was 18 to the Manila to work and go to school. She didn't finish, but she speaks 3 languages fluently and several others she can get by. In fact she speaks better English than me and I'm always asking her how to spell English words. She saves every peso she can get her hands on and then some. She has a built in GPS in her head. I've never seen anyone much less a women (remember the saying women can't read maps), who was as good with directions and finding their way around like she does. She is a little OCD. She cleans the house several times a day, and the yard and the car and herself and me :mocking: . But I guess there are a lot worse thing to be obsessive about. I would never have made it through my month in the hospital and the months of recovery since then without her love and support and I do mean support. There are many things she still has to help me with.That's my short story, well medium story about "the Kano Effect"

[Old55]

Thank you for your heart felt post Salty Dog. You have done well sir!

[i am bob]

May the rest of us who haven't joined our significant others yet be as fortunate as you! My hat is off to you sir!

[Curley]

Are her sisters the same?

[i am bob]

A wise man once told me that, if I wanted to find true love and with a woman I will always be proud of, to look to the Philippines for a woman who lives far away from the cities and towns... Since it was in a dream, I guess that was me!!! :mocking:

[Salty Dog]

Are her sisters the same?

Not anything alike. They both got married young and had children right away. Bing is 30 and has been on here own pretty much since she was 18.

[Americano]

My wife grew up in the northern mountains of Mindanao. Her family was very poor. They didn't even have sandals or flip flops to wear and couldn't eat rice because it was too expensive. They grew and ate corn instead of rice, At 6 years old she started climbing coconut, mango and other trees for food. She often wore her father's T-shirts and didn't have any panties. She didn't have soap to wash or shampoo for her tangled hair. Due to working so hard to find food, she could only go to school one or two days per week but still graduated high school. At 15 she went to work in a mall in Ozamiz City as the mall announcer so she was forced to learn to speak English. At 15, 16 and 17 she was working full time in the mall and going to school one or two days per week. She was already the bread winner for the family. At 19 she got a job in a mall in Manila and continued to be the bread winner by sending most of her salary home to her parents. At 21 she met me and her days of very hard work and worries ended, but she hasn't forgotten the hard life she had and others are experiencing now.

[Old55]

What a great story. Few of us from the West know what real need or hunger is like.Your wife is a strong woman who will be a good life partner. :grouphugg: