Filipinas With Divorced Foreigners A "second" Wife And How...

[Old55]

Of the Filipinas married to Foreigners its common the Foreigner would be divorced. I've observed some Filipinas think themselves a second wife where the ex wife is still the real one. This affect could be stronger for those living in the West. I'm curious what the dynamics are between your wife and the ex-wife.

[Garpo]

My wife accepts that I am divorced from my ex in the US. I have not noticed any problem at all in that regards, I can see however that maybe some of the older filipina's might feel that way. My wife is young and is pretty up to date with divorce and those kind of things. When I have discussed this with her she has told me that to her a second wife would be when a male filipino leaves his first wife and takes another girl. Even though they never marry, the new girl is often considered the 2nd wife.

[Steve & Myrlita]

Myrlita has never considered herself as 2nd. Although I was divorced before, she fully accepted that and she is 57.

[Dzighnman]

Interesting topic. I was thinking the same thing after a recent post on another topic.My Filipina wife has met my ex several times and the first was a tough one as I think the concept of ex's that do not kill each other was "foreign" to her. I had long chats with her about the details of why we divorced and the importance I placed on staying on good terms for our two childrens sake. My view was they were innocent victims and needed to have some expectation of normalcy so fighting and hate speak has not been part of their lives, well, since the divorce.Our first visit my ex welcomed her and I to stay over and I thought all my progress in preparing my wife for the visit was gone (she feels that all American culture believes threesomes are normal). Never put anything past an ex.... she could have been setting me up for any kind of awkward situation with that invite as she is evil in many ways. We declined and again, I was explaining her fears away to her... it took ahile to come around, but consistent behavior and honesty on my part about even things I did that damaged our relationship helped her to overcome her insecurities and ever since, we all get along... now, do not take this wrong, they will never be best friends, but my Filipina wife knows in her heart that I tolerate her as the mother of my older children and the family aspect of it all helped her understand why I would still have contact with her periodically.My Filipina wife is a great judge of character and she was so spot on in her candid assessment of my ex as a "real bitch" (or as she puts it, "I do not want to offend you but she is a real beeyatchy"), I agree, but we do not let that show as we both know there is no value to doing so. Funny thing is that through seeing how my ex's parenting skills (or more like does not parentlack therof) So she can co-exist as I do in the ex's presence, and does not particularly look forward to it, but more importantly, it took me, and her, alot of patient understanding and frank discussion until she was able to truly not be jealous. Jealousy is by far the norm with Filipinas and should always be discussed open and frankly so that trust can be established. It also helped that even after 19 years and two children, I am a clean break sort of person.... the day it was over it was over, no casual hugs, booty calls or any other sort of physical contact and we live 1000+ miles away from the ex. so that helps too I imagine.

Edited March 6, 2012 by Dzighnman

[billten]

she feels that all American culture believes threesomes are normal

Too funny Ron... hahahahaha

[Old55]

Love it Ron!

[daisy]

I don't think about it either and Alan's divorced wife is a Filipina too. As far as I know, I am THE WIFE! :lol: