What's Ideal Distance?

[Thomas]

(The subject is in more topics, but specific case or only to satisfy kano needs, so I add this.)

What's your experience concerning ideal distance to Filipin family?

I suppose many would say "at the other side of the world" :) but what distance can be a good compromise between filipina wanting to live close to her family, and kano wanting some privacy and avoid many - fooling - beggers/"looters"? (Serious illness/injury reasons can be OK..)

Asuming you have car/motorbike yourself, (but the family can't afford more than bicycles, at least not lazy ones), and the family is average or better, because of course longer distance are needed if it's a crap one, but who want to marry into a crap family anyway :)

(The topic is ment to be general, but to get answers of what I try to find solution to, I tell what I aim at: Follow Filipin traditions partly concerning assisting family, but NOT just give away "all" money so my living standard will go down to theirs. They are 12 plus partners and kids to siblings, plus I asume more distance related want a share too, so it wouldn't be much each if we split equaly anyway. Actualy I don't want to just give away any money at all, except perhaps some to the parents to improve house or such, beacuse better try to avoid get reputation being an "ATM", But I want to help the family by trying to add (better suiting) jobs to them, so they can earn more money themselfes, Probably NOT by giving them starting capital to own businesses, because The Philippines have to many unprofitable sarisaris and jeepneylines already... :) Instead I aim at trying to combine their work skills, local knowledges and contacts with my experience of leading small and middle sized companies, and add some jobs by that to the region, mainly to the family. At the moment ir seem to become some refining of agriculture products.)

[Old55]

Once you start courting a Filipina or a lady in your home country it's important to know her family members fairly well. If there are issues then that woman is not the right one, take your time and find a woman with a family who will be an asset to your marriage.

Filipinas who hook up with Foreigners are at a major disadvantage as she has no way to know her future in-laws.

Support for Mom and Dad is common and in many (most?) cases expected. If you agree to support Mom and Dad keep your word and support them. Your future wife her family and you must have a very clear detailed discussion as to how this be. EVERYONE must agree and details must be detailed but simple and clear before a courtship gets serious. None of the "up to you" BS.

Edited September 21, 2012 by Old55

[Brucewayne]

7,000 away wouldn't be enough, they would just ask for more at a time, so 5-10 miles away keeps frequent visits down to a minimum and living within walking distance encourages them to raid your fridge and beg money every day.

I have settled on the 5-10 mile plan.

[i am bob]

You have asked a great question regarding how far away to live....

Unfortunately only you can truly answer this! You are the one who is going to know how her family is in regards to asking for things. Perhaps taking temporary housing (renting) at what you consider the proper distance will let you know for sure. If it works out and you decide you might want to move closer, great! If need be, you can always move further away since you are only renting at this point.

As for the work aspect, it sounds like you are doing the right thing!

[Thomas]

Yes. Trying to get to know family is main.

I'm invited first time to family in January, when all working in Manila will come home too.

But then they will have fiesta, so not sure how much of their normal themselfes I will see :boohoo: :)

It's extra hard to find a suiting wife in countries as the Philippines, because not enough to just find a suiting wife, need to find a suiting family too :) because of the daughter are supposed to follow what older family members decide. Often have older people harder to say OK to changes :unsure: and I don't want to work unmodern as it's common in Philippine farming, so some new things is needed, I'm prepared to follow many of their traditions too, but not much concerning work, because I think 5000 p (-15 000p) per month isn't so good... :)