Mr Lee Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 I am sure some of you have Internet dated and there has to be a wide range of questions that you asked or wish you had asked? Maybe some of you can share some of your knowledge with our forum members?There are the standard ones, age, religion, DOB, education level, etc, but what other things would have been important to learn or that you gained the most knowledge from asking? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMason Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 I found it helpful to ask what their attitude towards employment was. If you expect your wife to work and she wants to be a housewife (or vice versa) you'll have problems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jollygoodfellow Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 I found my self asking if she would like me to send money for the sick Carabao or grandmother,its amazing how many of those animals died and they cant afford a new one to use on the farm.:thumbs-up-smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMason Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 I found my self asking if she would like me to send money for the sick Carabao or grandmother,its amazing how many of those animals died and they cant afford a new one to use on the farm.:thumbs-up-smile: Now that we're in Manila getting my wife's medical treatment, we're meeting a lot of women going for spousal and fiancee visas. One of the girls was telling us how poor they were because they could not afford a wheelchair for her Lolo. He was blind and couldn't get around on his own and really needed a new wheelchair. Her plea of poverty would have been far more convincing if she didn't have the Nokia N97 in one hand and an iPod touch in the other. I'm meeting all kinds of people at the clinic and almost all of them make me even more appreciative of my wife. There are lots of guys sponsoring these women that are in for a world of hurt in the next few years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
til Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 "Where did you get your computer?" when she asked me for money for some rice.She got quite mad at that question :)When your getting serious or maybe before that you should ask the crucial questions about her goals in life and her plans for the relationship.But a lot of girls will try to answer "what makes you happy". I found it hard to get good answers out of them.If she always says yes and "it's up to you" it might mean she doesn't care this way or that as long as she can marry you (and/or get your money). I'd see that as a big warning sign. Of course you'd like to believe she loves you that much, she will just be happy with anything you want. But they are not like that.Try open questions, try to make her tell you what she really wants. And watch out for consistency. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom in Texas Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 I am sure some of you have Internet dated and there has to be a wide range of questions that you asked or wish you had asked? Maybe some of you can share some of your knowledge with our forum members?There are the standard ones, age, religion, DOB, education level, etc, but what other things would have been important to learn or that you gained the most knowledge from asking? If a Filipina is an experienced professional scammer, there are no questions that you can ask that will reveal her true intentions with regard to you.However, many young, pretty, sweet and sincere Filipinas want to meet and marry an honest and sincere foreigner... and while it is in part an attempt to rescue themselves and their family from abject poverty... in return most offer an honest and loving relationship along with the only thing they have to offer - themselves. It seems to me that most of the time the foreigner is getting the better part of this deal.If you believe you are communicating with a sincere potential wife ("wife"), then you need to find out those things that will greatly effect you if you proceed with the relationship:- What does her family consist of - Parents, brothers, sisters, other relatives in the home or nearby;- Parents age, health, employment and source of support;- Siblings and their spouses ages, marital status, employment and source of support;- Anyone who relies on her parents or siblings for support;- Anyone who relies on wife for support at the present time;- Where your wife lives, all family or others who live there, and who owns house and land;- If married, does your wife prefer to remain in the RP near her family;- If willing to move out of the RP, how often she expects to be able to visit her family;- While living out of the RP, what amount of regular support does she expect to send home;- What other type of support does she expect for her family, housing, medical, education, etc.;Of course, there are also many foreigners trying to exploit or "scam" Filipinas for sexual purposes or just free maid service under the guise of seeking marriage. In all fairness, your spouse also deserves the answers to many of the same questions from you:- What is your age, health, employment and sources of support;- Are you an alcoholic, drug addict, HIV positive, etc.;- Who relies on you for support, ex-wifes, children, parents, etc;- Where do you live and what type of residence;- Do you own your home, and does anyone else live with you;- Do you wish to live in the RP, now, never, or when in the future;- If living out of the RP, how often can she expect to be able to visit her family;- What amount of regular support can she expect to send home;- What other support are you willing to provide for her family, housing, medical, education, etc.; These are a few obvious one I can think of... there are probably only about 2,000 more.Oh yeah... do she ( and do you) want children, how many, how soon.Tom in Big D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Hello Tom,Excellent point-counter points. And I have to agree with you -- for the most part, the foreigner has the advantage.However, one point came to mind that I believe needs to be expanded a little bit: Questions about her immediate family members should also include her estranged husband and possible children. It has happened before. Howto pursue that hidden background could be a subject for further discussion.Our warmest regards to you and Bing -- respectfully, Jake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Art2ro Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 OMG!!! I hope that there aren't any poor gullible smucks out there that falls into the hands of woman who can play men and get away with everything! But my hat is off to anyone who finds the "love of their life" after the 2nd, 3rd or 4th time! Because by then, one would have learned all the things a woman can do and avoid the same pitfalls! I'm not speaking by experience, I've just seen other friends of mine that went through those similar experiences I mentioned! All the questions in the world can be sugar coated in any way to appear sincere if the woman is good at it! All I can say is, "Good Luck!". Happy and careful searching for your future "love of your life!". They're out there!:yes::thumbsup: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Lee Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 Some good points guys. Keep the questions you think are important coming. I feel it is very important to write your questions down and to write the answers the lady gives you down and recheck them again at a later date. Also never lie to the lady because you may very well end up being caught in your own lie and Filipinas do not like lying of boastful men, from all I have seen and been told.I do think some of the things Tom said in relation to where you live and if you own your own home may cause you problems because telling her things that will lead her to think you are very rich may end up getting you the wrong lady. I have seen many guys who try to buy their women with gifts and by sending them large sums of money and I feel that is one of the things that leads to problems later on in life. IMO do not try to buy a ladies love and do not send her large amounts of money ever, and if you are going to send money once you know her pretty well, then that money should only be for the expenses of her keeping in touch with you and maybe a small gift for a birthday or a holiday. I think it is important to find out how much money she makes and keep your gifts in line with her earnings. If she is a lawyer, doctor or other professional and makes a significant salary for the Philippines then a higher end gift might be OK IMO but if she comes from a poor family and is working as an average worker and is therefore making a few dollars a day, IMO do not send her a months worth of salary because it may end up sending the wrong kind of message and may set the pace for what is expected by her and her family for the rest of your lives together. There are many things to ask, so think about what you seek in a lady and IMO be sure to ask all the questions that you can before you take the trip over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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