Leaving The Philippines

[Gold Heart]

I've been inactive on the forum for almost two months now. Thanks to those of you who were concerned or worried about my disappearance. I assure you that it is temporary.My return to the US for the school year vacation turned into a return to the US. While I hope to return to the Philippines some day in the future or perhaps visit for long frequent periods, my year trial of living there resulted in a sudden decision to return.While my son and I were very happy living there and I looked forward to the return. My wife was not happy, and thus the decision to return. It was not as though I was miserable in the US so the choice was easy. I thought and believed we would have a better quality of life in the Philippines and for my son and me ... it was. I was looking forward to the day of stopping work so that I could enjoy it even more.If known in advance, I would have done many things differently. The primary reason my wife was unhappy was her family. She was under enormous pressure much of which I did not know about or ever see. When she shared her desire to return I was a bit shocked. With a large poor family there was always drama that she was in the middle of. I did not see much of it because we had arranged to have respect for our privacy and our home was in another part of town in a guarded subdivision. I would help with some of the major financial issues which she would bring to me but there were far more that she had to ward off. In addition she saw many expat wives going through drama as they saw their husbands drift to affairs and relationships. With knowledge of the vast opportunity, despite my assurance she feared this might happen to me some day. Finally, after living in the US for over 10 years, she had experienced a level of personal freedom that she missed there: The ability to drive without fear and incident, the relative safety and security, the clean environment, the access to her favorite hobbies -- shopping, and other things. Seeing that I was not unhappy here, we decided to return.My disappearance is due to the whirlwind of events to within weeks have to pack up, distribute, store personal belongings, find, relocate, reenroll, and resettle here .. all while continuing to work my active consulting and project management job. In addition it has been an effort and time consuming to shut down things from the Philippines remotely. I have found the process of getting money back from the PRA far more difficult than it was to invest. I'm grounded and worried as they have my passport for processing my termination and I don't know how long it will be there. At least Mayen from the Bank of Commerce, acting as my power of attorney is helping me through that. She is great. It also is challenging to recollect my security deposits from the landlord there, etc. etc.If all goes well in the next few weeks we will have relocated to Florida and then I'll have to emulate that Mr. Lee - bi-continent life style some day. I expect to be active again in the position of many hoping to return to live in the Philippines again for at least part of the year. You will see me back contributing soon.Thanks again, Ron AKA Gold Heart

[MikeB]

Ron - great information from you, as always. Good to see you back and glad to hear everything is ok. I think splitting your time is a great option, wish I could afford it. Welcome back!

[Tom in Texas]

My return to the US for the school year vacation turned into a return to the US... My wife was not happy, and thus the decision to return... The primary reason my wife was unhappy was her family.... With a large poor family there was always drama that she was in the middle of.

Hope all goes smoothly for you and your family back in the US. In spite of the outcome... you and your son will have a lifetime of memories from your "adventure" that few families will ever experience.Seems that mixing first world and third world in day to day living, particularly the interaction between the families, just naturally results in some obstacle... some of which cannot be overcome. It speaks well of you that you made the decision that you felt was in the best interest of your family, regardless of what your preferences might have been.I have always enjoyed your well-thought out posts... hope you continue to post from time to time.Tom in Texas

[Jollygoodfellow]

Hey Rob Rex Ralph Ron, sorry was on the tip of my tongue :DWell I guess as long as everything is good now then the problems you had are just that,past problems. Good to see you back online.Wish you luck with the security deposits from the land lord and even more luck living in the same area as Lee,(advice) change your name and grow a beard.:e3358:

[Jake]

If known in advance, I would have done many things differently. The primary reason my wife was unhappy was her family. She was under enormous pressure much of which I did not know about or ever see. When she shared her desire to return I was a bit shocked. With a large poor family there was always drama that she was in the middle of. I did not see much of it because we had arranged to have respect for our privacy and our home was in another part of town in a guarded subdivision. I would help with some of the major financial issues which she would bring to me but there were far more that she had to ward off. In addition she saw many expat wives going through drama as they saw their husbands drift to affairs and relationships. With knowledge of the vast opportunity, despite my assurance she feared this might happen to me some day. If all goes well in the next few weeks we will have relocated to Florida and then I'll have to emulate that Mr. Lee - bi-continent life style some day. I expect to be active again in the position of many hoping to return to live in the Philippines again for at least part of the year. You will see me back contributing soon.Thanks again, Ron AKA Gold Heart

Hello Ron,Well, you certainly do have a Gold Heart. You have made another sacrifice in keeping your family intact as opposed to your own personal happiness. We look forward in your lessons learned and hopefully you will be able to prevent other expats falling into the same predicament.Respectfully -- Jake

[BigMoneyBruce]

I have read about more than 1 person having this same problem with the financial problems of family’s becoming a huge mental/emotional pressure and burden on Filipina’s who have a BF or husband with a little bit of extra money. Even those that are married to other Filipinos generally have to move a good deal away to ease the burden so they don’t have to live unhappy. Thanks so much for you personal experience this does make me think about things and provides many with the ability to learn from it and try to head of the situation before it manifests it’s self into a very unpleasant situation.