Picking On My Dad

[Inspector]

Well, my dad is old....73, about the right age for ayala mall and a 18 year old pinay beauty.... and viagra, and is getting a bit grumpy. Granted, he has parkinsons a bit advanced, and uses a walker, but still a true New Yorker, retired cop from Brooklyn. So, having some fun with him might seem cruel to you all, but for New Yorkers, it is acceptable. Anyway, mom is buying a Toyota Venza cash. Yeah, they have some money thanks to a very rich uncle of my mom leaving money to my my mom's mom, and her passing on at age 92. Anyway, dad wants to get the xm/sirius radio for the car, so he can listen to country music. Odd, a city boy that LOVES conway twitty and george jones. I grew up listening to that on any car trip, so despite my love of Led Zeppelin, the Who, Irish music (mom's favorite) and blues music, I also love country, Johnny Cash being my favorite. Well, on to the story....My mom refuses to pay for the in in car radio as they only drive local in Phoenix, so dad finds out you can get a portable that can go into the car with cheap attachments, and he can listen in the house. Now, if anybody knows parkinsons disease, or someone with it, knows that the mind goes as well as the body. Dad fades a bit, but still maintains his humor among grumpy blow ups. So, he gets his box in the mail, his eyes light up and today he calls the company. I being the fun loving spirit I am (a**h*le to others) am sitting in this open area away from the litchen listening. So, I pick up the other portable phone next to the computer and turn click it on. The auto menu of xm/sirius asks dad if you are currently a member, say or press 1, and if not, say or press 2. So dad says no, and I of course, press 1. Then they say thank you, please type in your phone number. I hear my dad bitch loudly to my mom....I TOLD THEM i was NOT a member! So, time passes and the auto finally says, ok, let me ask again, repeats the original....so dad says NO louder and grumpier this time and I of course, press 1 again. Back to the ok, now tell us your phone number. He now yells louder to my mom sitting at the kitchen table..."what the hell is wrong with these people?". So I now type in the phone number...the auto says..."sorry, we have no record of you". He screams "of course not you assholes, that's because I am not a member. So then he says to my mom...I am going to hang up on these jerkoffs and try again, then hangs up....and then retrys the call. Of course, I am still on, and I hear him let out a little scream..."THEY ARE STILL ON THE PHONE!!!!". My mom, suggests he hang up and let it sit a few seconds before he picks up again. Meanwhile, I still have the line on...dad waits, picks it up and the auto is still on...he lets out the f bombs, and now I am looking at my mom by the corner laughing so hard...my mom starts laughing her ass off and my dad is just besides himself..."I am canceling, sending it back....screw these assholes..."...until I emerge. Mom and I laughing, dad had to laugh as well....ahhh, a nice new york family moment. :)

[Steve]

:)