Sob Story

[ekimswish]

I was getting bbq to take out back to the hotel for my wife and the helper, and while waiting three nice guys invited me to drink with them. Two of the men were very nice and never said anything suspect, but the one guy kept apologizing for things and thanking me for coming to their town. Then he started to tell me how his wife and children have nothing to eat at the farm because he's drinking here. His kids are back at the farm crying because he's drinking. He's so poor that his kids have nothing and drinking like this is utang (debt). He went on and on and since I drank enough, I bought them a big bottle for the road (60 pesos), but c'mon! How the hell did this guy expect me to sympathize for his poor family when he's drinking in front of me and telling me how it's the problem and the reason they have debt and his kids are crying of hunger. What a prick. I just didn't want any trouble, so I spent the buck-fifty. The other guys seemed quite nice, but unfortunately the one had to ruin it. The other thing I find interesting is when people keep telling you not to worry about them, they're nice, etc. I've experienced it before, and I interpret it as them telling me that there are dangerous people to watch out for. At the same time, it makes me want to be suspicious of them. Anyways, that's life here and I accept it. Gotta work around it next time.

[Jake]

I was getting bbq to take out back to the hotel for my wife and the helper, and while waiting three nice guys invited me to drink with them. Two of the men were very nice and never said anything suspect, but the one guy kept apologizing for things and thanking me for coming to their town. Then he started to tell me how his wife and children have nothing to eat at the farm because he's drinking here. His kids are back at the farm crying because he's drinking. He's so poor that his kids have nothing and drinking like this is utang (debt). He went on and on and since I drank enough, I bought them a big bottle for the road (60 pesos), but c'mon! How the hell did this guy expect me to sympathize for his poor family when he's drinking in front of me and telling me how it's the problem and the reason they have debt and his kids are crying of hunger. What a prick. I just didn't want any trouble, so I spent the buck-fifty. The other guys seemed quite nice, but unfortunately the one had to ruin it. The other thing I find interesting is when people keep telling you not to worry about them, they're nice, etc. I've experienced it before, and I interpret it as them telling me that there are dangerous people to watch out for. At the same time, it makes me want to be suspicious of them. Anyways, that's life here and I accept it. Gotta work around it next time.

Hey Mike,As the new kid on the block, they were scopin' you out. Words get around fast in a barrio or village about your down to earthkindness and I'm sure the one with the sob story is also famous for his alcohol problem. It would be nice to introduce yourselfto the local PNP and have them realize that you are not the typical sexpat. You're a family man, virtually living off the grid and willing to adapt to their ways. Also you should register with the barangay captain and tanods (neighborhood security) so thatthey will know who and where you live. They will remember your friendly attitude but at the same time, you don't take any chiteither.Respectfully -- Jake

[Old55]

I’ve made it a point never ever to drink with the local Filipinos. Not be an A-H@# % but it is the one thing most likely to wrong or some how cause hard feelings. I rarely drink during my vacations anyway so its not like they see me sitting around drinking beer.Twice now I’ve had a local buy beer using my credit. The last time I told the local store I would not pay but after a few days I did make good on it. Word got out that game will not play.

[Jake]

I’ve made it a point never ever to drink with the local Filipinos. Not be an A-H@# % but it is the one thing most likely to wrong or some how cause hard feelings. I rarely drink during my vacations anyway so its not like they see me sitting around drinking beer.Twice now I’ve had a local buy beer using my credit. The last time I told the local store I would not pay but after a few days I did make good on it. Word got out that game will not play.

Yeah, I hear you partner. Establishing a personal credit at a local sari-sari store is convenient but not very secure.Some store owners would pad your account just a little bit without you noticing it. I've had some luck when going out to a local beer house. Most of the time, Judy's cousins would accompany me as my personal body guards. The two brothers are tall and muscular but very polite and willing to show me the the street customs of their town. One thing I've learned is not to stare at another customer, even though it may be completely innocent on your part. If however, one of them comes over to invite you over to their table, I personally would not decline their offer. Theysomehow gathered enough courage to speak in English and would feel ashame if you turn them down. But you mustestablish right off the bat (with the waitress or bar owner) that you are not picking up the tap at the new table. Sure,I would probably buy the second round (to return their first round) along with some palutan and then politely excusemyself before things get loud and rowdy.Respectfully -- Jake

[Old55]

I’ve made it a point never ever to drink with the local Filipinos. Not be an A-H@# % but it is the one thing most likely to wrong or some how cause hard feelings. I rarely drink during my vacations anyway so its not like they see me sitting around drinking beer.Twice now I’ve had a local buy beer using my credit. The last time I told the local store I would not pay but after a few days I did make good on it. Word got out that game will not play.

Yeah, I hear you partner. Establishing a personal credit at a local sari-sari store is convenient but not very secure.Some store owners would pad your account just a little bit without you noticing it. I've had some luck when going out to a local beer house. Most of the time, Judy's cousins would accompany me as my personal body guards. The two brothers are tall and muscular but very polite and willing to show me the the street customs of their town. One thing I've learned is not to stare at another customer, even though it may be completely innocent on your part. If however, one of them comes over to invite you over to their table, I personally would not decline their offer. Theysomehow gathered enough courage to speak in English and would feel ashame if you turn them down. But you mustestablish right off the bat (with the waitress or bar owner) that you are not picking up the tap at the new table. Sure,I would probably buy the second round (to return their first round) along with some palutan and then politely excusemyself before things get loud and rowdy.Respectfully -- Jake

You make a great point Jake. Never do anything that may cause a Filipino to lose face especially a man in front of his friends when alcohol is involved. What I do if I need an exit from that kinda situation is to loudly say something like "I wish I could but my wife is Cebuana and she wants me home now" o something like that. Every on can have a laugh.

[ekimswish]

Yeah, later that same night I went back to the place to visit with the owner who also owns the hog feeds shop we buy from. I was waiting for him when his employee from his other business and the employee's friend sat down at the table next to mine. I offered them some of my beer and a pork skewer and they declined. They had their own food and drink. Nothing was shared. Sure enough, an hour later, after they had left, I found they had put their tab on mine. The owner was with me at the time though, saw what had happened and told me don't worry about it, he would get the money from them tomorrow. So I just paid for myself, and I imagine he told them not to do that. In between all of that, the old man working the grill on and off asked me for a beer, which I bought him, then asked me for a skewer, which I gave him. He looked poor and scraggly. He was trying to talk to me something about inviting him to my house, and the owner came over, again, but earlier, and told him to leave us alone. Anyways.... gotta learn the ropes. I don't really like drinking beer these days anyways. Tuba on the street with our workers or friends is good enough for me.