How Friendly Are You?

[ekimswish]

My wife's childhood friend's older sister was visiting from Southern Leyte this week, and while drinking Tuba, she told me I'm a very good socializer with Filipinos. I thought nothing of it, she's just being nice, but she explained that her husband is a driver for foreigners on occasion, and she does nails for a lot of foreign women, and they're not nice. They don't like to talk to her. They don't really look friendly. But that's just one person's opinion. Still, there's another foreigner in our small town, and it's a really small town, and he's been here for half a year I think, and yet doesn't talk to anyone. Everyone asks me if I know him, and I did bump into him on the street once for a friendly conversation, and they tell me that he just rides his motorcycle around, doesn't look at anyone, and always looks very serious. He doesn't talk to them or make an effort to be friendly. I tell them he's just shy. I say that he's probably in Asia for the first time, and I've lived in Asia for the past 7 years. I don't tell them that it really is intimidating being the only foreigner around. Everyone looks at you, and they're not always smiling. Sometimes I greet people and get nothing in return. Mostly I get a nice reply, but not always. I'm not always sure who I should greet, and who probably doesn't want to hear from me. But I try. So I understand how hard it is to be the center of attention, but not knowing if it's good attention or bad, and try to make friends out of it. I've had a lot of success, but it's still not always easy to read the situation. Still, I ask the question if you try to be friendly and smiling, and talk to local people, or if you're a head down, eyes straight ahead, grouchy, don't yell Joe at me on the street, kind of guy? If you're just hear for the women, I could see someone acting like that, but it won't make them friends. Just wondering if you give the guys as much love as you give the girls, or the ugly old women the same respect as the young hotties?

[Art2ro]

That's a good observation on your part, but don't get too friendly with every Tom, Dick or Harry you meet because you could make yourself a target to scrupulous and dishonest Filipinos or other foreigners out to take advantage of your kind and friendly nature! We don't live in a safe or perfect society here in the Philippines and caution is a must and to observe our surroundings! As you have stated, "it's not always easy to read the situation". So, be careful and cautious!

Edited December 10, 2010 by Fil/AmArt

[Jake]

Hey Ekimswish,Glad to hear that you are settling down out in the boonies of Leyte. Where exactly are you located so that I could possiblyzoom in using Google Earth? Anyway, since your very first post, you have continue to amaze me on much you can or needto improvise or adapt in a strange land. I believe you're the only member that knows how to use a bolo to crack a coconutand be completely satisfied just living in a nipa hut. Images of nipa huts here: http://www.google.co...iw=1280&bih=635It doesn't take much time for the word to get around your barrio that in spite of your worldly ways as a kano, you don'tmind getting down and dirty like the other villagers to make some sort of livelihood off the land. If not already, the wordhas you pegged as a no nonsense family man, respectful to others and willing to help others in need (not necessarilyfinancial). As suggested in my previous post, please introduce yourself to the barangay captain and his tanods and thelocal PNP. Those contacts might come in handy, especially during your absence working in other countries. But as Artsuggested above, continue to read the body language of anyone trying to take advantage of you and your family. Forgetabout that old grumpy kano riding his motorcycle. He was probably like that even in his home country.Respectfully -- Jake

[Mr Lee]

My wife's childhood friend's older sister was visiting from Southern Leyte this week, and while drinking Tuba, she told me I'm a very good socializer with Filipinos. I thought nothing of it, she's just being nice, but she explained that her husband is a driver for foreigners on occasion, and she does nails for a lot of foreign women, and they're not nice. They don't like to talk to her. They don't really look friendly. But that's just one person's opinion. Still, there's another foreigner in our small town, and it's a really small town, and he's been here for half a year I think, and yet doesn't talk to anyone. Everyone asks me if I know him, and I did bump into him on the street once for a friendly conversation, and they tell me that he just rides his motorcycle around, doesn't look at anyone, and always looks very serious. He doesn't talk to them or make an effort to be friendly. I tell them he's just shy. I say that he's probably in Asia for the first time, and I've lived in Asia for the past 7 years. I don't tell them that it really is intimidating being the only foreigner around. Everyone looks at you, and they're not always smiling. Sometimes I greet people and get nothing in return. Mostly I get a nice reply, but not always. I'm not always sure who I should greet, and who probably doesn't want to hear from me. But I try. So I understand how hard it is to be the center of attention, but not knowing if it's good attention or bad, and try to make friends out of it. I've had a lot of success, but it's still not always easy to read the situation. Still, I ask the question if you try to be friendly and smiling, and talk to local people, or if you're a head down, eyes straight ahead, grouchy, don't yell Joe at me on the street, kind of guy? If you're just hear for the women, I could see someone acting like that, but it won't make them friends. Just wondering if you give the guys as much love as you give the girls, or the ugly old women the same respect as the young hotties?

I have to admit that I am friendlier to the Filipino women (no matter what their age) than the men and that is because I do not wish that some of my actions to be taken wrong, but a good morning or afternoon or evening in their own language never hurts or fails to bring a smile to the most harden Filipinos face and once they smile then I smile back. I have found that speaking the little bit that I do often breaks the ice and I socialize with anyone willing to socialize with me, be they working men or rich men.  

[sjp52]

I would say 3 out of 4 foreigners I see walking near me do not respond to a hello from me. I don't understand it. I would think they would love to talk to someone who can speak good English as that is what I sometimes would like.When I am at my wife's neighborhood, I try to be friendly to all the neighbors. But after saying hello and a smile most do not know any English so its very hard to go beyond that. But at least I smile. As for being more friendly with the women than the men. Women are usually better at speaking English than the men. This is the biggest gripe I have about the Philippines. If it wasn,t for my wife to talk to every day I would be very unhappy living in the Philippines.

[ekimswish]

Another guy asked me about the same Kano last night, again while drinking Tuba, and coincidentally I had shared a Van with him and his wife back from Tacloban, the big city, just 30 minutes earlier. I explained to them that it's not easy because a lot of Filipinos are shy and insecure around us foreigners due to English, but their serious looks can be interpreted by us as unfriendly. I told my Pinoy friends that I also am confused a lot of the time whether someone doesn't like me, or they're just shy because they don't speak English well. There was one guy who walked by my house every morning with a pretty serious look, but he was our neighbor and very tough looking. I wanted to be on his good side (because of all the muscles), so I always said in Waray-Waray, "Maupay nga aga (Good morning)," but he NEVER responded. I was sure he hated my guts. Then, a week ago, we played basketball on opposite teams and he was making weird sounds all the time. I realized, "Holy chit, he's mute and deaf!" Later that night I was drinking with one of our workers, the deaf guy, and the deaf guy's brothers. They were all really nice. They thought it was funny that I thought he hated me so much. Still, my wife warned me not to drink with random people on the street. Earlier this year 3 people were killed from being poisoned, and no one knows who did it. Only drink with them if I know them already and we're close.

[ekimswish]

Hey Ekimswish,Glad to hear that you are settling down out in the boonies of Leyte. Where exactly are you located so that I could possiblyzoom in using Google Earth? Anyway, since your very first post, you have continue to amaze me on much you can or needto improvise or adapt in a strange land. I believe you're the only member that knows how to use a bolo to crack a coconutand be completely satisfied just living in a nipa hut. Images of nipa huts here: http://www.google.co...iw=1280&bih=635

We're in the town of Julita right now. It's just 7 kilometers inland from Dulag, on the Leyte Gulf. I've been to the beach about once a week since coming back. It's rained a lot and we've been busy with the farm and the house. I don't wind surf so I'm not sure how the conditions are, but there's an island for surfing nearby on the southern tip of Samar. I plan to visit it in the next couple weeks before leaving for Taiwan. My family will stay here and I'll go to work for some more nest egg savings, then come back.

[Genius]

I make it an undertaking to be very friendly to the locals, I will buy them drink and food and spend time chatting to them, when I can. Usually, I ve no idea what we are talking about, but it seems to make them happy more often than not and it makes me happy to spread a few peso about. I distinguish in avoiding the hot girls as I value my life due to her indoors, though I do notice that many foreigners just focus on the girls and ignore the other locals. However, my generosity only extends to the poorer segment, I have not budget for the richer ones, as I think they do not need any generosity. I noticed Japanase and Korean can be very racist and so avoid them when I can.

Hey Ekimswish,Glad to hear that you are settling down out in the boonies of Leyte. Where exactly are you located so that I could possiblyzoom in using Google Earth? Anyway, since your very first post, you have continue to amaze me on much you can or needto improvise or adapt in a strange land. I believe you're the only member that knows how to use a bolo to crack a coconutand be completely satisfied just living in a nipa hut. Images of nipa huts here: http://www.google.co...iw=1280&bih=635

We're in the town of Julita right now. It's just 7 kilometers inland from Dulag, on the Leyte Gulf. I've been to the beach about once a week since coming back. It's rained a lot and we've been busy with the farm and the house. I don't wind surf so I'm not sure how the conditions are, but there's an island for surfing nearby on the southern tip of Samar. I plan to visit it in the next couple weeks before leaving for Taiwan. My family will stay here and I'll go to work for some more nest egg savings, then come back.

[Art2ro]

Nice nipa huts! I could live in one of those near a beach! I'd be in paradise for sure! Just have to watch out for those typhoons though!