Dating In The Internet Age

[Mr Lee]

Some good points IMO and I believe one of the most valid points that I would make is that you can get to know each other and become friends first online, and then work into a relationship once you know if the person is even compatible in any way with you. Mind you I never tried online dating because it was not available when I met my wife many moons ago and before home computers, but I feel that if a person is intuitive enough to read between the lines, and is totally honest with the other person, then it should work at least about the same as face to face dating, because I believe that it is rare that any of us would marry the first girl we ever dated, and if we did, did it really work out. We have it easy these days with the advent of the Internet. Everything is virtually within reach. Everything is instant. Even before you start a conversation with someone via email or other messaging systems, you already know a lot about them. (Thanks, or no thanks, to Google, Facebook, Twitter and all the dating sites of this world!)But that’s complicated in so many ways and also, in more ways than one, deceiving. In my experience in dating using the Interwebs as a jump-off point, disappointments are inevitable. We all have social network “identities,” most of which are different from how we are in real life. Simple photoshopping alone can make one look drastically more good-looking than they actually are.And we are all about the first impression. And attraction. The first step in actually dating someone is being attracted to them. No one really cares about educational attainment, intelligence and all that CV stuff at the onset. It’s all about whether this guy or that girl makes our insides twitch in a good way.Everything else follows after the initial hurdle of attraction. I, of course, shouldn’t generalize. But that’s really how it generally seems. Point is, the Internet is a great place to meet people you have similar interests with, but it isn’t the most ideal environment to hunt for prospective dates, unless you want to go through the motions of awkwardness and the longest two hours of your life on your first real life date with your prospect.To explain that, we have to weigh the pros and cons of prospect-hunting online versus offline, and maybe try to strike a balance between the two.It’s a matter of preference, actually. Some people find it comforting and less nerve-wracking to “get to know” someone over the Internet first before going out with them in real life. True, you can ease into each other. True, you can find common ground. This gives you a sense of security that you “know” the person you’re gonna be out on a date with. This also takes care of all the CV questions beforehand so that when you finally meet in person, you can focus on gauging if your personalities match.It’s also easier to “approach” someone online because if you get rejected, your offline ego will not bruise as much. And since sending the first message is a carefully crafted process, you don’t have to come up with quick responses. As we know, pick-up lines are a make-or-break thing. This alone is proof that your online self is not necessarily an accurate representation of your offline self.So my problem with that is, how real will that connection be? And you will always have this nagging thought that you may turn out to be a disappointment (and/or vice versa) when you’re face to face with that someone on your first date.Experience has taught me that both parties will have expectations that are seldom met. (I’ve been on countless first dates without follow-throughs.) You are, after all, falling in love with someone who’s not real until you finally meet. You are falling in love with an idea, an idealized and perfect version of an utterly flawed person. You could be developing real feelings for someone who doesn’t even exist. There is no photoshopping in real life. You cannot type words and delete them after. Once you’ve done and/or said something in person, there’s no taking it back.Online, it’s so easy to pretend to be something you’re not. Everything is just a Google search away. Will they be as smart, witty and engaging when you’re actually in front of each other? Again, their online persona remains a manufactured entity unless proven otherwise in person. You cannot trust your imagination to fill in the blanks, to provide a living, breathing human aspect to the idea that they’re presenting themselves to be. Everything is speculation at this point.Link to the story HERE

[Inspector]

:thats-funny: