Forum Support Old55 Posted February 14, 2011 Forum Support Posted February 14, 2011 (edited) Please share your insight and experiences understanding this interesting phenomenon us “Rich Kano’s” find ourselves in. In Filipino culture there are many expectations or traditions a Foreigner has no knowledge of. Many of those have to do with sharing, obligations and giving. Some are very clear others not. Filipino/Asian nuance can be interesting. An example would be a common situation where groups of family, friends or even strangers will “join” a Foreigner during a meal or drinks with the expectation food or drink would be provided them as well. On the surface it would seem rude at the very least. But is there more to this than meets the eye? Aside from strangers or scammers just what traditions come into play here? I came across this blog today it reinforced how little I know of Filipino culture after all these years.The "balato" mentality Edited February 14, 2011 by Mr. Lee repair link Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Hounddriver Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Please share your insight and experiences understanding this interesting phenomenon us “Rich Kano’s” find ourselves in. In Filipino culture there are many expectations or traditions a Foreigner has no knowledge of. Many of those have to do with sharing, obligations and giving. Some are very clear others not. Filipino/Asian nuance can be interesting. An example would be a common situation where groups of family, friends or even strangers will “join” a Foreigner during a meal or drinks with the expectation food or drink would be provided them as well. On the surface it would seem rude at the very least. But is there more to this than meets the eye? Aside from strangers or scammers just what traditions come into play here? Its not just foreigners. I have many times gone to see a filipino professional during their lunch hour. They will often be eating in their office when I drop by and most times they will ask me to join them with whatever small lunch they may have to offer.I learned that it is polite to offer and polite to refuse. It is polite to offer and refuse 2 times. When the person offers a third time then they really mean it that they would like you to join them and then it is polite to share a bit with them. This is what I heard, it may not always be true. I use that rule of thumb a lot and people tend to think I am polite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Art2ro Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Dave Hounddriver,You sure sound like a nice person and also a too of an over polite individual towards Filipinos or just a gullible naive foreigner! If you are truly like that in person, your average local Filipino will sense it and will surely take advantage of your good nature! Don't always believe what you hear or read about the Filipino culture, but use more of your normal average common sense when in doubt or always be with a Filipino companion in the know to stay out of trouble! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Hounddriver Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Dave Hounddriver,You sure sound like a nice person and also a too of an over polite individual towards Filipinos or just a gullible naive foreigner! . . . Yes. I am not the one to give advice on how to avoid being taken advantage of by some filipinos. I have had my share of being 'ripped off' but I try not to stress on it. I try to concentrate on being polite to most of the people I meet so that the ones who are truly good people will remember that good first impression. The ones who screw me over seldom get to do it a second time.So when I am inviting people to eat with me, (as the opening poster uses that example), I will offer and see whether the people snap up the opportunity at the first offering or if I have to persuade them to eat. I find it a good indicator of whether they are the kind of people I want to continue associating with. If they keep coming over to 'invite themselves' when I am having a meal they find out that politeness is great for first impressions but for pests I reserve the right to tell them to 'f' off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No name Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Sharing is very much a part of the Filipino way of life.If you take a girl our of her work and she's been sending money home she's going to need you to replace that for her. Lee has suggested here that you should discuss this situation with your potential Filipina partner and I think Lee was right on.I have seen a little of it but mostly Jessie's family has not done this. In fact, once her sister sent us money when I ran out at Christmas time a year ago. If I go there again, and I hope I do, I'll probably buy lechon for a family meal. They will provide everything else and we'll have a great time if I can stand the heat. Lately, I can't take the heat. ::(I've never had anyone join me at a meal that I didn't invite. I'm not a real social person though, I keep to myself a lot. Stay at home a lot when I go out, I get sick. :(When I have invited someone to join us, I also make sure they understand I'm inviting them and not everyone. I tell them they can bring one friend if they like.I took a group to the disco once, they brought one gay guy with them. No big deal to me. I had a good time. They were worried about how I would treat him since another homophobic expat had been rude to him.No one has taken advantage of me though a few Filipina have tried to tempt me with promises that they never intended to keep and then ask for money. That NEVER works on me.There are too many things I need and want that I don't have for me to go flinging cash around or be unable to say no.Every time I've been around group of Filipino, its been an awesome experience. I just don't understand why people have so much problem with this.Of course, Jessie guards me like a pit bull when it comes to this kind of thing. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Art2ro Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Has any one been to a funeral in the province? My wife's grandmother passed away last month of old age, she was shy a few months of being 100 yrs old! Immediate family members had setup the viewing in one of the relative's home. Before, during and after the viewing, there is eating, games, drinking and chit chatting! What's amazing is, 300 people showed up for the food! Their grandmother doesn't even know 300 people! That's the Filipino culture for ya, just a bunch of gate crashers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No name Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Yes Filipino do love a party and there is a party at a funeral.You left out gambling? Or did I miss it. :)The police wont bother the folks gambling at a wake. It is very much part of the tradition.I'm told the excuse is it is to send the departed off with good luck. People always make up excuses to paint our vices in a positive light. Jessie tells me that when her family had a party, they'd say come at 6pm and people would start showing up at noon. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roy2cebu Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 Yeah...gotta laugh. My ex wife's mother died a few years ago. I have been there on the anniverary 'celebration'. People just flocked to the house ...stuffed themselves and buggered off...never to be seen again...well, not until the next anniversary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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