Dzighnman Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 It's up to you! .... those words we all dread almost as much as "sorry sir, out of stock"....or, "I'm shy".I have always dealt with this response the same way, by returning with, "Hey, I ASKED you your opinion, so that is the only response I should get"..... to which I used to get..." That is my opinion, it is up to you".What are your observations? Is it only cross cultural where the "it's up to you" gets used so extensively? or is this a phrase commonly used between Filipinos?In any case, I and my wife worked out long ago that I respected and wanted her opinion and as a result, we will both be happy with whatever decision is being considered... she admitted recently that she really appreciated me forcing her to learn to voice her opinion and that she thinks that her use of that phrase had more to do with a perception that anything I said would be better than her opinion.... it took awhile, but she appreciates that her opinion matters to me. I felt that this change was more important for her than for me as a way of building her confidence in her opinions... she is much more confident now and we feel due in large part to her overcoming the "It's up to you syndrome."If you have experience with this phrase or similar... share your experiences as I recall how frustrating it was when that seemed to be the canned response to everything I asked way back when.... so from frustration, came encouragement and finally understanding.A strategy that paid off, for us, in the end?Me: "Where would you like to go out for dinner?"Her: " It's up to you"Me: But I asked for your opinion"Her: "That is my opinion, It's up to you."Me: OK, cool, we will eat at Burger King again"Her: "Burger King again? Every day it is Burger King... Burger King does not have rice"Me: "Well, hey, you had your chance to say where and you deferred to me"Her:" OK, I take it back, China Buffet"Me: " OK, but next time, no Ikaw ang Bahala, or maybe you do not get a second chance"Her:" OK, i get your point"I expect that everyone has heard this phrase ad nauseum.... :dance: 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 Unfortunately, it's a common phrase among the massa, the Filipino folks both rich and poor. Perhaps a left overfrom being a subservient people over the last few centuries. My wife Judy apparently has a more independent mindset from her early years and I appreciate her woman'sprerogative nature. As a result, my customized dog house has been upgraded over the years, thank you!I get no respect sometimes -- Jake 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Hounddriver Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 I find it the same everywhere. Its just that in my culture people will voice their opinion before bowing out. Such as: I don't think those pics should be on this site, boss, but its up to you. I think that filipinos have given up voicing the opinion part before acknowledging that the person they are speaking to is going to do it his/her own way anyway. I think they look at the person they are talking to and give them enough respect to have the unspoken look in their eyes that say: I don't think you are stupid. You must have some clue what I want. And yet it is going to be your decision so, instead of saying all of this I shall take a shortcut and say: Its up to you.But you can accept my opinion or not, its up to you. :dance: 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jollygoodfellow Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 What! all this time I thought the term was, "its sup to you" :angry: 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashanti Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 I guess I grow up thick skinned as I never suffered this problem. I always state what I wanted if asked except, if the person issuing the invite was forced to by default then I will asked jokingly how much can he afford. :hystery: 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike S Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 (edited) This is one of the first words I learned and use it all the time ...... the first one was di ba ...... :hystery: :hystery: :hystery: Edited March 31, 2012 by Mike S 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted March 31, 2012 Posted March 31, 2012 This is one of the first words I learned and use it all the time ...... the first one was di ba ...... :cheersty: :hystery: :hystery:Only the Shadows knows......di ba? Pero, ikaw ang bakla di ba. OK....bahala na. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Mike S Posted March 31, 2012 Popular Post Posted March 31, 2012 Only the Shadows knows......di ba? Pero, ikaw ang bakla di ba. OK....bahala na. No I will NOT marry you ..... you are a married man ...... what do you think of me ..... but please send me some dollars ..... my kalabaw is sick and I need to take him to the hospital .... my ate slipped and fell and broke her neck and died and I need to get medicine from Dr. Quack to make her well ..... please hon ... send as much as you can ..... we all miss you and my Pilipino boyfriend says Hi ..... di ba ...... I will be waiting at Western Union .... so please hurry ...... emergency .... di ba 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dzighnman Posted March 31, 2012 Author Posted March 31, 2012 Only the Shadows knows......di ba? Pero, ikaw ang bakla di ba. OK....bahala na. Subtle differences can really change a conversation huh? :cheers: 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daisy Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Sometimes it means, she doesn't know anything at all so "tsup to you" :no: 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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