What To Do When She Doesn't Talk

[MacBubba]

_{In 24 years of marriage, we've had two shouting matches that ended up with her telling me that shouting would get us nowhere, and no amount of talking in the moment would resolve the issue.  She then proclaimed a period of silence to be observed until we've both cooled off.  Since I considered that fair warning, I agreed, and things worked out sooner rather than later.}

 

_{Between the two of us, she has the longer fuse, but she also packs a more powerful explosion.  I am thankful that even when she is livid, she still tries her hardest to communicate clearly.  And, when she is not livid, which is a good deal of the time, I really appreciate that she is never vague about what she means.  No veiled messages to confuse my male psyche, therefore less occasion for me to mess up.}

 

_{Funny, but to be honest, it would be hard for me to mess up.  Even when she doesn't say anything, she gets a look (not contrived) that gives ample warning.}

 

_{BUT THE BEST PART IS:  SHE IS VERY QUICK TO APOLOGIZE WHEN SHE IS WRONG!  That in itself is why we very rarely fight.}

[Curley]

 

_{BUT THE BEST PART IS:  SHE IS VERY QUICK TO APOLOGIZE WHEN SHE IS WRONG!  That in itself is why we very rarely fight.}

 

 

She does most of the apologizing?       :thumbsup:

[MacBubba]

She does most of the apologizing?

 

Now, now...it's not a contest  (I wouldn't expect an apology if she wins :lol: )!

[GregZ]

... the idea of husband and wife was totally useless. I would rather believe that relationships grow more positive if the term friendship was applied instead.

 

I had to come back to this statement and comment... After reading it the other day it stuck with me.  You'll understand why.  When I started talking with my girl, now wife of 2 years, she asked, "What do you want in a woman?"  My reply was, "You'll have to sing and be my best friend."  She was shocked by my reply and thought I was joking.  I was NOT; and I DO JOKE a lot.

 

The background on this is that after a 16 year marriage and 10 year relationship failures I had given up on women and wanted NOTHING to do with another one.  I was living by myself and enjoying life just fine until my buddy George (who has a Filipina wife) decided that I MUST talk with this girl in the Philippines.  He was VERY persistent for 2 months and even got his wife to join in on the persuasion also.  I told both of them (the wife is my girl's auntie), because they really were pushy and I was really NOT wanting any involvement, " NO! I do not want a subservient slave girl to wash clothes, cook for me and clean my house.  I can do all those things myself."

 

I want to thank George and Aunt Elizabeth for not giving up until I agreed to "just chat with this girl" and "be friends".  I found out later that she (my now wife) was on the other side of the world telling her aunt, "I don't want to talk with some foreigner guy over the internet."  Once we started chatting it took less than a month and I was making plans to visit.  We were on video chat for 5-8 hours a day.

 

We are now best friends.  We do everything together and life is great.  She does cook and clean and wash clothes, but I help. :thumbsup:  She is great at all the sports that we engage in and is better than 50% winning at card games.   :1 (103):   I am still a better shopper, but she is learning that also.  (NOTE: I said SHOPPING, not BUYING)  :cheersty:

[Jake]

Your Lordship (GregZ),

 

A long time ago, NASA admitted their serious mistake of not sending a poet to the moon.  The beauty of Mother

Nature and the human spirit can best be described by poets with deep thoughts.  You statement here captures

the beauty of raw simplicity: My reply was, "You'll have to sing and be my best friend."   It's the most basic and

primal instinct for having a companion.  Perhaps the human spirit needs eternal friendships as well.......

 

I really got a chuckle about your lady being pretty good in card games.  Judy should teach her how to play strip

poker.  Actually, you probably know the secret of winning the game.  As for me, I purposely lose and go all in

with the remaining pubes that I have.  That way, I will lose quickly and a more exotic table game begins.....he, he.

 

Have a good one, my friend -- Jake

Edited March 29, 2014 by Jake
spil chek

[MacBubba]

"You'll have to sing and be my best friend."

 

I did not know it then, but in hindsight, those should have been my sentiments (but she never asked me what I was looking for in a wife).

 

Anyway, that is what I ended up with...a jazzy singer who is my bestfriend.