Would You Do It?

[BrettGC]

I'm in a bit of a quandary people:  Some very dear Filipino friends of mine (they're a married couple) in Angeles have asked me for a "loan" for their daughter's school fees, about 15k PHP.  I've known them for years, they were the ones that took me in when I found myself in an untenable situation there and helped me out of it (not going into it).  They are really good people and in the 12 years I've known them they've never asked, or even hinted at any sort of help. I try to visit them every time I'm in PH.  They both work as optical technicians in Nepo Mall, and she's the store manager as well; some of you may have even met them.  Why can't they afford it themselves?  9 kids and it's all hit them at once, as these things do.

 

I know it's a never generally a loan there but in this case I think it would be.  I've never been a "soft touch" in these matters but sometimes you sort of feel it's the right thing to do.

 

Looking for the voice of logic here. 

[afathertobe]

I honestly think you should. If in all these years they haven't asked for a loan they must have a good reason to ask you now. 

 

And given that they helped you out of a bad situation in the past it's only reasonable (from an Asian perspective) to ask you for the same in return now. 

 

But you should probably not expect them to repay it soon or even ask about the date of repayment... 

 

Just my 2c

[scott h]

I found myself in an untenable situation there and helped me out of it

 

Morally, by our standards Brett, you owe them. If it was me in the same circumstance I would give/lend it to them. Having said that, if it will put you in a bind, give what you can, but don't expect it back either in one lump sum or quickly. That's the price of friendship here.

 

On the bright side, you will be a unofficial "ninong" and the kid will owe you forever :thumbsup:

 

:cheersty:

[Dave Hounddriver]

asked me for a "loan" for their daughter's school fees, about 15k PHP

 

From the "quote marks" it seems that you know it is not really a loan.  More of a gift that they may pay back, one day, if they can, and if you insist on it?  With that understood it sounds like they are friends looking for help and if you think its a good cause, if you can easily afford it, and you want to help then I would think you are doing what any good friend would do

[Jollygoodfellow]

Whats your heart telling you? From what you wrote you respect them and they are friends needing just a bit of help for the first time in the 12 years you have known them. If you can afford it my opinion is go for it but at the same time will this develop into a next time and another. You are the one who knows them so I would say no answer here is really going to solve this for you as 10 might say no and 10 might say yes. Im sure you will make the correct decision.

 

:thumbsup:

[lyno 47]

Mate we don't really know how or what lengths they went too help you ,all I can offer is go with your gut feeling as the boss said will it run into next time ,or on the other side what price do you put on friendship. After spending an evening with you I can be sure what ever decision you make it will be the right one.

cheers mate

[rw191010]

I agree that you should just consider it a gift and if you ever get the money back, consider it a bonus.  If it will put you in financial hardship, then honesty is always the best policy and just tell them you can't afford it.

 

Good luck,

 

Rod

[Thomas]

I agree with the others, because you told you have got help from them earlier.

It would have been different if it had been an expensive EXAM PARTY, then I had adviced them to not spend more than they can afford, but now it's EDUCATION.

[chris49]

I'm in a bit of a quandary people:  Some very dear Filipino friends of mine (they're a married couple) in Angeles have asked me for a "loan" for their daughter's school fees, about 15k PHP.  I've known them for years, they were the ones that took me in when I found myself in an untenable situation there and helped me out of it (not going into it).  They are really good people and in the 12 years I've known them they've never asked, or even hinted at any sort of help. I try to visit them every time I'm in PH.  They both work as optical technicians in Nepo Mall, and she's the store manager as well; some of you may have even met them.  Why can't they afford it themselves?  9 kids and it's all hit them at once, as these things do.

 

I know it's a never generally a loan there but in this case I think it would be.  I've never been a "soft touch" in these matters but sometimes you sort of feel it's the right thing to do.

 

Looking for the voice of logic here. 

 

I'm in a bit of a quandary people:  Some very dear Filipino friends of mine (they're a married couple) in Angeles have asked me for a "loan" for their daughter's school fees, about 15k PHP.  I've known them for years, they were the ones that took me in when I found myself in an untenable situation there and helped me out of it (not going into it).  They are really good people and in the 12 years I've known them they've never asked, or even hinted at any sort of help. I try to visit them every time I'm in PH.  They both work as optical technicians in Nepo Mall, and she's the store manager as well; some of you may have even met them.  Why can't they afford it themselves?  9 kids and it's all hit them at once, as these things do.

 

I know it's a never generally a loan there but in this case I think it would be.  I've never been a "soft touch" in these matters but sometimes you sort of feel it's the right thing to do.

 

Looking for the voice of logic here. 

 

I'm would give the money and tell them it's a gift. And I would make a mental note not to give again.

[Hey Steve]

If it's a matter of affordability, Brett, maybe just lay out in front of them what you have that is possible to give-it's about $350.00-maybe you may come up short (?), but I'm sure they would appreciate the effort just the same as is the same effort they also extended to you a while back. I'm sure you have that figured out and it will all work out in the end.