Shes On The Phone 20/24 Hours A Day And Yet Won't Call Anyone

[chris49]

She pushes me to the Snr Citizen's line in the bank. But if I ask her to hold my place she gets suddenly shy. Since they know us and we withdraw dollars, the teller will spot that and call her forward (why she can't come forward on her own). Then the teller attempts to give me all the money ignoring her.

 

In a restaurant all the dishes even the drinks are placed on my side, as if she didn't order anything. So they are treated differently.

 

In Mc Do or Jollibee if you have any minor complaint they will replace the item. She will cringe when I complain but gets happy to see a new item.

 

Gina doesn't commonly use a phone. She might fool around with a tablet 30 minutes a day, she's not obsessed with chatting or calling.

 

No water? We pump it up, that's the only way here. Until someone decided we needed bottled water, and we get 2 bottles a week. I let her pay it, total waste of money.

She pushes me to the Snr Citizen's line in the bank. But if I ask her to hold my place she gets suddenly shy. Since they know us and we withdraw dollars, the teller will spot that and call her forward (why she can't come forward on her own). Then the teller attempts to give me all the money ignoring her.

 

In a restaurant all the dishes even the drinks are placed on my side, as if she didn't order anything. So they are treated differently.

 

In Mc Do or Jollibee if you have any minor complaint they will replace the item. She will cringe when I complain but gets happy to see a new item.

 

Gina doesn't commonly use a phone. She might fool around with a tablet 30 minutes a day, she's not obsessed with chatting or calling.

 

No water? We pump it up, that's the only way here. Until someone decided we needed bottled water, and we get 2 bottles a week. I let her pay it, total waste of money.

[davewe]

I still haven't figure all this out either and I suspect it is a combination of all the reasons posted (plus one I will get into).

 

At first Janet wouldn't call here - nose bleed reasons, even though her English is good. Perhaps lack of confidence, I thought, though really she doesn't lack confidence.

 

The other day she wanted me to call and make a dentist apt. for her as I always do. But by this point she knows the dentist well, having been there 10 times, knows the receptionist well and there is no reason for her not to call - yet she insists that I make the apt. I ultimately fold and make the call.

 

I think the other unmentioned factor is that they really want us to be (God forbid) "the man" - lead the way, make the decisions (though we all know what decisions we had better make), etc. Even when we are in the Philippines and I am much more reliant on Janet to communicate if an important issue arises she wants me to get involved in the conversation. I think she genuinely feels more comfortable with me being "the man". Having been married twice before to Americans - well, this isn't something I am all that used to :)

Edited October 22, 2015 by davewe

[Jake]

Unfortunately, the Filipino culture dealing with other Filipinos is part shyness, timidness and non confrontational.  For example, loud and misbehaved children in Jollibee is completely ignored by the parents until someone else stands up and complains.  It only takes that one person for others to start complaining.  It's called the mob mentality, followed by tsimis (gossiping) and dirty looks to force the parents to lose face in public.  

 

Or the parents with all the bling-bling and fake Louis Vuitton gets all defensively arrogant by saying -- don't you know who I am?  My chit don't stink.......

[chris49]

Even when we are in the Philippines and I am much more reliant on Janet to communicate if an important issue arises she wants me to get involved in the conversation. I think she genuinely feels more comfortable with me being "the man". Having been married twice before to Americans - well, this isn't something I am all that used to

 

Well I think they automatically think we get service, as the provider is more than likely to pay more attention to us.

 

However I know of one case where the wife who did the calling and negotiating, was an absolute bitch, citing the fact she was married to a foreigner.

 

I'm happy to pick up the ball, eg at the bank, where we get the welcome from the manager and staff, while they are just another customer.

[Dave Hounddriver]

I think the other unmentioned factor is that they really want us to be (God forbid) "the man" - lead the way, make the decisions

 

I would surely like to believe that were true.  As you mention, they want us to lead in the direction they want to go.  In my younger days we called that "topping from the bottom" and I am not a huge fan of it.

[Jack Peterson]

I'm happy to pick up the ball, eg at the bank, where we get the welcome from the manager and staff, while they are just another customer.

 

 

Of course you do Chris, He is a Personal Friend of yours. You wouldn't expect anything else, Would you?

 

:tiphat:  :thumbsup:

Edited October 23, 2015 by Jack Peterson

[chris49]

Of course you do Chris, He is a Personal Friend of yours. You wouldn't expect anything else, Would you?

 

Actually Jack that's part of the ugly American syndrome, which I have posted elsewhere. I get a great satisfaction by doing my transaction with his assistance.

 

Have to know my place. The money changer brings in bags of dollars about twice a day, reputed to be $150-170k on US SS days. My transaction of under $2000 doesn't stand up next to that.

 

I still expect Gina to work her way through the system, which she now does, without my help. We do help each other but it's shared equally or almost. Except they always hand all the money to me. Even her personal (the kids allowance) money.