protracted correspondence

[peterfe]

I wonder how many Westerners have joined Filipinocupid and these other sites recently, with no prospect of meeting the girl(s) they're writing to for months and months? We know a girl who's been writing to a man in the US for two years and they still haven't met. I met an Englishman here in March who met a woman quite briefly, and at the time he didn't seem particularly interested in her, but since then they've been corresponding and will maybe continue to do so until flights resume. Maybe I'm missing something here, but I can't see ANY POINT in writing to someone for months and months before getting to know her properly. If I was alone in a Western country now and wanted a Filipina partner, well, I might look at some profiles now and make a few notes, but I wouldn't start writing to anyone until max. two months before I was 100% sure I could travel. Any thoughts on this?

[RBM]

1 hour ago, peterfe said:

I wonder how many Westerners have joined Filipinocupid and these other sites recently, with no prospect of meeting the girl(s) they're writing to for months and months? We know a girl who's been writing to a man in the US for two years and they still haven't met. I met an Englishman here in March who met a woman quite briefly, and at the time he didn't seem particularly interested in her, but since then they've been corresponding and will maybe continue to do so until flights resume. Maybe I'm missing something here, but I can't see ANY POINT in writing to someone for months and months before getting to know her properly. If I was alone in a Western country now and wanted a Filipina partner, well, I might look at some profiles now and make a few notes, but I wouldn't start writing to anyone until max. two months before I was 100% sure I could travel. Any thoughts on this?

Not sure i understand why you would not be writing to her now. Takes time to get to know each other and time is something most people have a lot of currently.

perhaps by end 2021 travel will be 50% normal, for sure Philippines can do with the tourist dollar.

[peterfe]

8 minutes ago, RBM said:

Not sure i understand why you would not be writing to her now. Takes time to get to know each other and time is something most people have a lot of currently.

Well, I'm sorry but I don't see how you can get to know someone better by writing to them for months. Much of the basic information is already on these dating sites anyway, age, any children, smokes/drinks, religious or not, etc. Then you maybe need a couple of weeks to find out some other things and then I think you should MEET HER!!   Still, I asked for opinions and I got one...

[Dave Hounddriver]

11 minutes ago, peterfe said:

I think you should MEET HER!!

I agree with your opinion but it is still just an opinion.  Everyone has their own.  As a younger man I believed that a man does not start to really get to know a women until he beds her.  As an older man I believe they lie there too. (Or should that be in the puns thread?  )

[Jack Peterson]

10 minutes ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

As a younger man I believed that a man does not start to really get to know a women until he beds her. 

 My Granny used to tell us that you will never know any Woman until you live with her, Sex may be Great but there is a whole lot of other stuff to encounter 

[Mike J]

1 hour ago, Jack Peterson said:

 My Granny used to tell us that you will never know any Woman until you live with her, Sex may be Great but there is a whole lot of other stuff to encounter 

Your Granny should have talked to the infamous Ed of the  "90 Day Fiance".  

[Jack Peterson]

30 minutes ago, Mike J said:

Your Granny should have talked to the infamous Ed of the  "90 Day Fiance".  

 I will not Dig her up again till Christmas  

[hk blues]

I suppose time invested now, especially since so many of us have plenty of it, will help avoid wasting time (and money) later as the more you chat the more you will begin to get to know the person - and, dare I say it, be able to spot some red flags etc.

[peterfe]

Well, yes, red flags indeed... This woman who the Englishman met only briefly in March and has been chatting with him ever since has only just recently told him that she has four children. I think you should be upfront about things like that, in fact that's one of the advantages of dating sites. The important practical details are there for you to see before you even start writing. 

[hk blues]

4 minutes ago, peterfe said:

Well, yes, red flags indeed... This woman who the Englishman met only briefly in March and has been chatting with him ever since has only just recently told him that she has four children. I think you should be upfront about things like that, in fact that's one of the advantages of dating sites. The important practical details are there for you to see before you even start writing. 

In a sense you have kind of answered your own question as to the benefit of protracted chatting - things come out over time.