Taking Life A Day At A Time

[Sampaguita]

Have I bored you enough yet? Do you want to read more? This is a long story since Lee was visiting for weeks. Do you all mean to tell me that you do not have any stories of your own? That cannot be? OK so I will give you a little more but I am not sure I will want to keep typing if no one else joins in.OK, so now one of my cousins comes into the house and is drunk since it is celebration time because I came home to visit and he starts to talk to Lee in his version of English. When people get drunk they lose their shyness and seem to be able to talk some English, so my cousin is going at it and his voice keeps getting louder and louder and he keeps getting angrier and angrier because Lee does not seem to understand him because he is drunk and not speaking English as an American would but as a drunk Filipino would now both of them are getting frustrated and finally Lee thinks that it seems to be escalating to where he might have to defend himself in this strange place for him so he gets up and calls for me in the other room and prepares to toss my cousin out the window but I came over and calmed Jr. down and he then left and Lee felt a lot better that he was now able to relax again. These things were normal to me but not to him and since he did not understand even one word and no one around him spoke English, I guess he was a little uncomfortable. :lol:OK so now one of the family comes to get us and they tell me that my 4 brothers want a sit down to talk to us and only the one cousin that speaks English but he is drunk is there besides me and they all want Lee to drink and eat and the men start coming in from work and all have bolos on their hips from working on the farm and about this time I can see Lee looking like what the heck have I gotten myself into :lol: and everyone but Lee is drinking and voices start getting louder and louder and my brothers are demanding that we get married the next day and then Lee finally has enough and stands up and says "no" nicely and then my brothers get louder and Lee slams on the table with his hand and the table jumps up off the ground and he then said it would be his way or no way and all got quiet because I think no one expected him to raise his voice and I tried to explain to everyone and it looked like it might be all over so we all headed back to my old home to sleep and we all slept on the floor with lots of people in the house and some of my married sisters all around Lee and my nephews sleeping on the trap door so no one could come in and Lee talked to me and explained and asked me to explain to my brothers and cousins but I think Lee still slept with one eye open all night. :lol:The next day things were quiet and it seems that my family became accepting of Lee and welcomed him into the family and then asked that he bring me back each year and Lee said he would do his best and has kept his word. I guess this was really the only interaction my family ever had with a real kano and they did not know what to make of him and one of my sisters said Lee was so big and asked me if he was going to crush me and I said I hope not. :lol: All my brothers and sisters were married already and I was the second from the youngest of 13 and the last to get married so they were all protective of me and since my mother died when I was 3 they all had brought me up so they were all also like my parents.We spent some more time with my family and all seemed OK but I still was not sure if I should go to the US and at this point I think Lee was having second thoughts but he did not say so and we then just took a bus back to Cagayan de Oro and walked around and took more pictures of the two of us together and Lee kept setting the camera on auto and putting it on walls and fences and then we developed them all with two copies and he gave me one set and then we went to see another young girl that Lee had thought he had helped through high school. The young girl turned out to be even younger than she had told him she was and it seems that her aunt was the one who was writing and Lee had suspected that her English was way too good and that was why he wanted to see her. When we visited the address Lee had it turned out to be one of her uncles and he accompanied us to her village outside CDO in a taxi and the girl did not speak any English and it seems it was all a scam and that is why Lee warns people to not send money. We then get back to the city and the Aunt shows up with this girl who is now just 17 but they had told Lee she was already 17 a few years earlier and he told her he would not be interested in her but would gladly send a few dollars now and then and the aunt is trying hard to tell Lee how bad a person I must be because I do not live at home and work in the city and how much better her niece would be for him and he just laughs and hands the niece p500 directly and it was like he had handed her a million dollars and then he tells them to be on their way and that he was not interested in her for a wife and never was but that he felt sorry for her with a scamming aunt who probably got the money that was meant for the nieces schooling.Asleep yet :lol:Well next we had a birthday party because Lee and I have the same birthday and one of my friends arranged it and she was the one who is married to an Australian and she talked me into accepting Lees plans to take me to the US and I just wanted Lee to stay there and get married and live in CDO but he said he could not and while I knew I loved him, it was so scary to leave all that I knew to go to a place that I had no idea about except from TV or movies and to leave my friends and family. Lee told me to go home and spend time with my family and to prepare to leave within a couple of months and everyone told me it could not be that fast. About 6 weeks later he faxed me my Embassy appointment and he told me he would meet me there on that date and be prepared to not go back and to only take good things because we would buy new when I got to the states. I did not believe him and neither did my boss, friends or coworkers but I did as he said and said my goodbyes and my family took me to the CDO airport to fly to Manila for my interview and medical and I was sure I would be coming back.I guess this is enough for now and if you want to read the rest then let me know and I will try to type some more up.Maybe this is already too long.

[Mr Lee]

OK all, I am beginning to feel that the above is all a big bore for people and who the heck cares what has happened in my life since each of us will face different tasks. You are welcome to read this because my wife went to all the effort to type it and then I will be deleting most of any reference to me and our life because I am sure no one is interested.

[Jollygoodfellow]

OK all, I am beginning to feel that the above is all a big bore for people and who the heck cares what has happened in my life since each of us will face different tasks. You are welcome to read this because my wife went to all the effort to type it and then I will be deleting most of any reference to me and our life because I am sure no one is interested.

Well I don't know about anyone else but I enjoy reading the life and times of Lee and Nila,I am interested in how things went once Nila arrived in the US.:lol:

[MikeB]

Nila, I too would like to hear more of your fascinating story about love and perseverance. I don't have anything that interesting to share but I, like Lee (and many. many, others), was scammed by a young woman there that I tried "to help". Unlike him, this was someone I knew fairly well (or thought I did). It wasn't that much and maybe it was a good thing because it taught me a valuable lesson that will never be repeated. Most of these people are experts at this, there must be a school over there that teaches it...or maybe experience and desperation are the best teachers.I would advise anyone who is hearing sad stories and being solicited for money to be 100% sure of the situation and, even then, think long and hard because there is a high probability that you are throwing your hard-earned money away.

[Mr Lee]

Nila, I too would like to hear more of your fascinating story about love and perseverance. I don't have anything that interesting to share but I, like Lee (and many. many, others), was scammed by a young woman there that I tried "to help". Unlike him, this was someone I knew fairly well (or thought I did). It wasn't that much and maybe it was a good thing because it taught me a valuable lesson that will never be repeated. Most of these people are experts at this, there must be a school over there that teaches it...or maybe experience and desperation are the best teachers.I would advise anyone who is hearing sad stories and being solicited for money to be 100% sure of the situation and, even then, think long and hard because there is a high probability that you are throwing your hard-earned money away.

Mike, I know a lot of people get scammed and that is why I do my best to help others to not get scammed and why I encourage others to tell their stories. If I can make a fool of myself, then so can others tell their own stories because what is important is that people learn from those of us that had to learn the hard way. I do not really feel like I was scammed since I knew up front that I would be wasting the $5 or so that I sent once a month in the letter to that young girl and since I never had any intention of her for a partner, I knew I was just wasting my money but since I was making good money and felt sorry for poor people, I did it anyway...... The scam in my mind was that I knew a 17 year old could not write the way that young lady was writing to me since I had received over 100 letters from women and knew exactly how they each wrote, so had she said she was 25 or 30 years old and college educated like her aunt was, then I might have believed her. I am not really sure what drove me to keep sending those $5 but I just did out of the kindness of my heart and I am not really sorry I did, but I would also like to point out to you and others that not everyone who tells a sad story is a liar and a person might miss a great wife if they believe that, let me explain.Nila and I had already written for over a year and in the second year she had mentioned that her father was ill but never asked for money. I believed her and since we also talked on the phone it seemed probable to me that she was telling me the truth and besides that I used to send a dollar or two with most letters in cash to pay for the postage and she always yelled at me that I should not send her money and that she was working and did not need my money but I still kept sending those dollars because I understood that the postage was a quarter of a days wages in some cases for her or most average people back then and I wanted her to be able to afford to send me as many letters as she felt the need to. Anyway one day she told me her father was very ill and I started to send $10 or $20 and she really got mean to me and told me that she would no longer talk to me if I continued to send money and I told her to use the money for her fathers meds and doctors and that it was not for her, so she finally stopped complaining and over time I had sent a bunch of money. $5 or $10 or a $20 in most letters and that was pretty big money back in those days and something just kept telling me to send it. Well one day she stopped answering my letters and was not at work to receive my calls and I figured I had been screwed. About 2 months or so later I receive a letter and she tells me her father had passed and she asked why I had not written to her when she was back in her home provinces and that she was sort of upset with me since I had not kept in touch, but she got over it when she got back to work and the letters were there. Seems she told her friend to tell me she went home but no one did and they only said she was not there and I did not have the home address and she thought I did. Bad communications back then on my part and hers.Well we got back on track for another year or so of writing and then I finally was able to visit her and not long after I got off the plane and met her, she handed me her bankbook and told me it was all my money and that she had put it all back with her salary and wanted to return it to me because it was not hers to keep. That told me that she was a keeper and that the money had been well spent, so had I thought it was a story then I would have missed out on the best thing in my life IMO. I really do not know what to tell people and things have changed a lot since way back when we were communicating which was over 18 years ago when we started, heck it seems like yesterday but we are heading toward 16 years of marriage now that we are in 2010 so I am very happy I did not think she was a scammer and we all have to make our own decisions but I would guess that nowadays there are many more scammers out there then way back when, so everyone should use their own gut instincts and pray for the best and remember, no matter how much you did give, you did help poor people in the Philippines one way or another because the money did eventually trickle down to some, and besides most scammers in the Philippines are poor anyway, so it is really not that bad IMO to waste a few dollars here and there but the rule should be to meet a person before giving anything other than money to help them to communicate with you.I really hope others would share their stories because IMO mine is very boring and what my wife is writing does not really make me too happy to tell the world but if it helps even one person then I really cannot be upset about it all and I will not stop her as long as nothing too personal is included in her writings and if others also chime in, but if no one else posts their tales of woe, then I feel that she should not continue either.

[MikeB]

Lee, thanks for pointing these things out and, although I have never met you or Nila, I think you are very lucky; or maybe blessed is a better word since we all make our own luck.I am aware that not all sad stories are lies. All of my friends and the people I most consider my family live in the Marakina section of Manila which was ground zero during the Ondoy flood. Because Marakina is a valley, when the filthy water of the Marakina River overflowed it flooded into their barangay and destroyed everything they had. It happened so fast, they escaped with their lives and the clothes they wore, nothing else. Because the homes are almost all concrete structure, the houses were left mostly intact but everything inside was lost; every single thing. It was hardest on their children. They expected no help from the government and that's pretty much what they got. Thankfully, I still have a job so I and others were able to help them begin to put their lives back together, and also have some kind of a Chrismas for their children. Hopefully, 2010 will be a much better year for them and the start of a better decade for everyone. That is my wish for the New Year.

[Sampaguita]

Lee, thanks for pointing these things out and, although I have never met you or Nila, I think you are very lucky; or maybe blessed is a better word since we all make our own luck.I am aware that not all sad stories are lies. All of my friends and the people I most consider my family live in the Marakina section of Manila which was ground zero during the Ondoy flood. Because Marakina is a valley, when the filthy water of the Marakina River overflowed it flooded into their barangay and destroyed everything they had. It happened so fast, they escaped with their lives and the clothes they wore, nothing else. Because the homes are almost all concrete structure, the houses were left mostly intact but everything inside was lost; every single thing. It was hardest on their children. They expected no help from the government and that's pretty much what they got. Thankfully, I still have a job so I and others were able to help them begin to put their lives back together, and also have some kind of a Chrismas for their children. Hopefully, 2010 will be a much better year for them and the start of a better decade for everyone. That is my wish for the New Year.

Mike, Lee and I are very sorry to hear of your extended families hardship and they are lucky to have you to help them. As Lee often says, people get what they give and good usually goes back to good and those bad people usually get what they deserve. I think it is sad that your good family has to suffer but it must be in Gods plan somehow. Lee and I are both blessed to have found each other and we hope to meet many of the members on this forum to become closer friends with them if they wish to. We too hope that 2010 can be the start of a much better life for all of us on this very large world.

[teddydare]

Hello Mr Lee, I found your post to be most interesting. I am an Englishman living in New Zealand for the last 25 years and approaching retirement at the end of this year. My passion has been traveling and I have been fortunate to have visited several parts of the world. Right now I am looking for an agreeable, warm and inexpensive place in which to spend part of each year. I love living in New Zealand but hate the winters. My research has so far identified several possibilities such as Belize, Uruguay, Ecuador and the Philippines. I will be visiting several places in the Philippines in April this year to see first hand what is on offer. I also read the many forums and posts to acquire as much information as possible. Ideally I want to find a place that I am comfortable living in for 3 to 6 months each year. There is so much conflicting opinions as to the merit of life in RP that I think I will need several trips to make up my own mind. Thank you for your stimulating and informative posts.

[Mr Lee]

Hello Mr Lee, I found your post to be most interesting. I am an Englishman living in New Zealand for the last 25 years and approaching retirement at the end of this year. My passion has been traveling and I have been fortunate to have visited several parts of the world. Right now I am looking for an agreeable, warm and inexpensive place in which to spend part of each year. I love living in New Zealand but hate the winters. My research has so far identified several possibilities such as Belize, Uruguay, Ecuador and the Philippines. I will be visiting several places in the Philippines in April this year to see first hand what is on offer. I also read the many forums and posts to acquire as much information as possible. Ideally I want to find a place that I am comfortable living in for 3 to 6 months each year. There is so much conflicting opinions as to the merit of life in RP that I think I will need several trips to make up my own mind. Thank you for your stimulating and informative posts.

Teddy, you are welcome and feel free to ask the questions that you need answers to and we all will do our best to answer them. If you get to Cebu in April then please send me a pm and we would be happy to meet up with you for a meal or a drink.

[Art2ro]

If we could afford to maintain two households, one in California and another in the Philippines we would, but due to finances it just wouldn't be practical on a fixed retirement income! At least here in the Philippines is way much more affordable to live and we can save extra money that we wouldn't have if we hadn't gotten rid of all our assets in California. I'm 61 now and will be eligible for Social Security next year that will help out and which will allow us to just spend half of my combined income residing in the Philippines and the extra money saved each year is adequate to take decent vacations every year or build a nest egg for other future use and or for those unexpected emergencies. We are pretty much settled in the Philippines where we live now and content with our surrondings and with our neighbors and friends. There's really nothing more we can ask for except to be able to live longer and enjoy the fruits of our labor and help our families within reason when ever the need arises. We are just a simple and private couple and don't live an extravagant lifestyle, we are just content with our lives the way it all turned out for us. We just go through life day by day enjoying the moment each and every day of our remaining life we have left on this planet. Really not much more to say or expand on about our lives here in the Philippines. Life is just grand and living the life that we planned on. :thumbs-up-smile: