Really annoying

[Viking]

My dear wife has an extremely annoying habit and it doesn't matter how many times I tell her to stop it!

She can talk about other people as soon as they are out of her eyesight. This means if we pass a person in the street, she can say something about this person when he/she is one step behind us!!! Or if we have guests in the house and they walk out of the room we are in, but they can still easily hear her!!!

It feels like she thinks they aren't around just because she can't see them. It can drive me nuts and it have come to a point where I ssssh her, when I expect her to say something within hearing range of the person.

Is this unique for my wife or is this something you have also experienced with your Philippine wife/girlfriend?

[scott h]

Not unique, its the national pass time right behind throwing sandals at empty cans

 

[JJReyes]

You are all grown up and you are still trying to understand why women enjoy gossiping?  When two Filipinas meet, you hear three opinions.  

[scott h]

14 minutes ago, JJReyes said:

When two Filipinas meet, you hear three opinions.  

 

[Mike J]

Sort of but not really.  My wife does like to gossip (tsismis) about others but very carefully if others are in listening range even if we do not know them.  If out having dinner and she want to talk about someone she will use that person's first name initial.  Me, being my normal obtuse self, will often say "who is B".   She will look furtively around and then whisper the name.   Then admonish me with "don't say the name, someone here might know them". 

Edited September 29, 2023 by Mike J

[Kingpin]

7 hours ago, Viking said:

 if we pass a person in the street, she can say something about this person when he/she is one step behind us!!!

I do that to my wife, sometimes even when the person is right in front of us. Whether it's because the people are shy or less comfortable with English, they'll be entirely focused on what she says, not what I say. So I'll just say random things that only my wife will catch.

[hk blues]

My wife is very humble so almost the opposite of Viking's story - she will even talk in a whisper when talking about our neighbours when we're in the living room and there is no way they can hear. So much so that I sometimes only know she's talking because I see her lips moving! 

[Viking]

15 hours ago, scott h said:

Not unique, its the national pass time right behind throwing sandals at empty cans

 

 

15 hours ago, JJReyes said:

You are all grown up and you are still trying to understand why women enjoy gossiping?  When two Filipinas meet, you hear three opinions.  

 

13 hours ago, Mike J said:

Sort of but not really.  My wife does like to gossip (tsismis) about others but very carefully if others are in listening range even if we do not know them.  If out having dinner and she want to talk about someone she will use that person's first name initial.  Me, being my normal obtuse self, will often say "who is B".   She will look furtively around and then whisper the name.   Then admonish me with "don't say the name, someone here might know them". 

This isn't about normal gossiping, which she doesn't like much. It's more like she is saying things that shouldn't be said so that the other person can hear it. An example, she could say to me, did you see how much pimples that girl had, I feel sorry for her. That is said after meeting her at the sidewalk, ONE step after she passed us!!!

If we are lucky she is one of those people who always wear earbuds, but that's not always the case. 😂

My wife is almost like the ostrich, who thinks nobody see him when he put his head in the sand. My wife seams to think nobody can hear her if she don't see them!!

From your responses I understand this is not a typical Philippine habit.

My wife is obviously unique in more than one way.😂

[JJReyes]

1 hour ago, Viking said:

This isn't about normal gossiping, which she doesn't like much. It's more like she is saying things that shouldn't be said so that the other person can .hear it. An example, she could say to me, did you see how much pimples that girl had, I feel sorry for her. That is said after meeting her at the sidewalk, ONE step after she passed us!!!

Filipinos hate direct confrontations.  If children are unruly in a restaurant, the strongest admonition is to say loud enough for the parents to hear, "I wonder who taught those childs manners?" hoping the parents or yaya disciplines them.  In the United States, another diner might shout, "Hey Lady, get your kids to quiet down!  We are trying to eat here."

Pimples?  An opinion expressed openly is an indirect way to tell the girl she has a skin problem that needs care.  The Western way would be to hand a tube of anti-bacterial skin cream as in a television commercial.  

(I am only guessing as to a possible explanation.)

[Viking]

2 hours ago, JJReyes said:

Pimples?  An opinion expressed openly is an indirect way to tell the girl she has a skin problem that needs care.  The Western way would be to hand a tube of anti-bacterial skin cream as in a television commercial.  

(I am only guessing as to a possible explanation.)

Yes, you are right in that they can be very indirect in some cases but this is something different. My wife really don't grasp that the person in question can hear what she is saying! 🙈

That's what drive me nuts sometimes.

Anyway , thanks for trying to come up with an explanation.