Hello, Im Dylan, 28(M) Looking for friends

[DylanofGad]

Hello fellow expats. I have left the US in search of a better life given what's to come. I am here alone and if I'm being honest, it seems kindness is hard to find for a man like me here. Not that it doesn't exist at all, and those who show it, I try to give it back two-fold to show that I am nobody's enemy. However, it cannot be helped that I feel looked down upon. To the point where I am questioning if coming here was potentially a mistake. Its probably something I am doing wrong that Im not understanding, but I have nobody to correct me. Luckily, I recalled that forums are a thing and decided to keep my head up and remember my convictions. Why I came here in the first place. Anyway, I'm getting off track.

 

I really need some allies here in the Philippines, I "live" in iloilo currently, but realistically I am not bound to stay here by any means.

 

I'm all alone, unmarried(not really here for the women anyway, though, it wouldnt be unwelcome). I don't have any friends(yet). This is certainly a challenge. To boot, this is my first time leaving my home country of the US.

 

I hope dearly I can find people here to talk to and maybe develop an irl friendship with. Comradery.

 

Cheers to you all and God bless.

 

-Dylan H.

[Clermont]

Welcome to the site, I live over on Luzon, there are a few expat’s over on Panay, and don’t worry about not having friends over there, they’ll turn up. Just a bit of advice, don’t flash your money around trying to buy friends. I take it you haven’t traveled much, there are some nice resorts on Panay, book into one of them for a day or two and mix a bit, good luck 

[Mike J]

Welcome to the forum.  I think you will find us a friendly bunch.  It sounds like you are already aware that the Philippines is quite different than the US.  Hopefully you will be able to meet one or more local expats who can help you get adjusted.  In the mean time just try to be friendly with the locals and I think they will be friendly with you.  Feel free to ask questions as many of the members have lived here for years. 

[longway]

For me I just visited a local coffee shop for breakfast almost everyday and a number of expats were doing the same, Took several weeks and after some Hi's , good morning's , how are you, Started sitting together and had friends. I could tell after a few visits and light conversation who there I felt comfortable knowing more about some were "not my cup of tea". Now I have friends from around the world. Good Luck to you.

[MotorSarge]

Hi Dylan,

Welcome to the forum.

There is a wealth of knowledge from many seasoned world travelers, visitors, semi-permanent and permanent expats of the globe here.

IMO, the general Filipino population are the most compassionate caring people that I have met in my years of global spanning.

So, two personal questions just out curiosity of myself that you don't have to answer.

I only ask as you had a longer intro than most and you the question the move as a possible mistake and kindness seems hard to find here.

What brings such a young 28(M) such as yourself here?

What did you do stateside and what is your destination plan here?

 

Again, from another Old Expat New Member... Welcome..

[manofthecoldland]

Hello Dylan, Glad to welcome you.

Its always good to keep a smile on your face and if you can, maintain a humorous attitude. Most people appreciate small jokes when making small talk. At least I do, even though I am not particularly good at it, ha-ha.

If I were your age, I would do as advised above, visiting coffee shops and also just wander around the malls or markets, sari-sari places where there are people who are bored with their jobs oftentimes, and its easy to strike up a brief conversation.  If you want friends, offer friendship easily, and it will often be reciprocated (sometimes to your detriment if you aren't selective at times).

Of course, the old time favorite of Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People", which my mother gave me a copy of 60-65 years ago, is always worth a read or reread. You might also check and see what's on you tube these days re your needs. 

Good luck.

[Gator]

21 hours ago, DylanofGad said:

Hello fellow expats. I have left the US in search of a better life given what's to come. I am here alone and if I'm being honest, it seems kindness is hard to find for a man like me here. Not that it doesn't exist at all, and those who show it, I try to give it back two-fold to show that I am nobody's enemy. However, it cannot be helped that I feel looked down upon. To the point where I am questioning if coming here was potentially a mistake. Its probably something I am doing wrong that Im not understanding, but I have nobody to correct me. Luckily, I recalled that forums are a thing and decided to keep my head up and remember my convictions. Why I came here in the first place. Anyway, I'm getting off track.

 

I really need some allies here in the Philippines, I "live" in iloilo currently, but realistically I am not bound to stay here by any means.

 

I'm all alone, unmarried(not really here for the women anyway, though, it wouldnt be unwelcome). I don't have any friends(yet). This is certainly a challenge. To boot, this is my first time leaving my home country of the US.

 

I hope dearly I can find people here to talk to and maybe develop an irl friendship with. Comradery.

 

Cheers to you all and God bless.

 

-Dylan H.

Hello and welcome to the forum. 

What are some your interests? Pool / billiards? Go to a bar that has a pool table as you can easily meet ppl there. Just play for fun so you don’t get hustled. Basketball or soccer? Lots of parks where you can likely get a pick up game. You see where I’m going. Religious? Plenty of churches of just about any denomination you can think of to pick from where you meet ppl…..both locals and foreigners. 

As others have stated, be cautious about flashing cash and never “borrow” (lend) to any “friend” you’ve just met. Most locals, but certainly not all, view all whites guys as being rich. 

[Tommy T.]

Hi Dylan...

Nobody has said this out loud here to you yet... Please be extra careful of any females (you might need to do the Crockadile Dundee check?) you meet and do not fall in lust with anyone right away. There are lots of incredibly beautiful and sexy women/girls/gays here and so you should go slow and careful.... I suggest you keep your wallet, money and, ahem.... package... in your pants for a while...

Edited January 21 by Tommy T.

[hk blues]

I'm in Iloilo but not looking to strike up a friendship as I don't have the time to invest in it - pretty much full-on working so apologies for that.

It's not an ex-pat haven unlike some places so you've probably chosen a less than desirable place from that perspective.  

Also, I'm presuming you are 28 - not many young ' uns here - I'm 59 and probably on the younger side as an ex-pat here! Again, you've ended up in a place that's not really got many options for a young guy to meet like-minded folk.

There are a couple of ex-pat groups bit I went just once - not my thing but nothing wrong with them at all. One group meeting a bar close to SMCity and the other in another bar. Mostly German and Northern European and I was the 2nd youngest there. Again,  nothing wrong with that but maybe not what you're looking for. 

If you're not here for the women then I'd probably suggest moving on to another location here which has a more vibrant ex-pat community, and younger folk.

I love Iloilo, it's an ideal location for an older ex-pat who wants to keep his head down and enjoy life with his family. 

Really wish you good luck and please don't hesitate to private message me if you have anything particular to ask about Iloilo.

 

 

 

[MotorSarge]

Another BOT, AI or INF type....