Dating In The Philippines

[lou]

I'm 60 years old, newly retired, and I want to spend some time in the PI. Maybe 6months in the PI and 6 months in Canada. I will be arriving in Dumaguete Feb.10th and staying in a hotel for a while. I don't know anyone in the PI so I checked out some dating sites and I am surprised at how many Filipinas are on the dating websites seeking foreign guys. I have chatted with some of them and many seem quite eager to meet me when I arrive. Maybe I will meet a few, maybe I won't. I'm not a dummy and I'm not hard up so I'm not worried about getting scammed. Some of the girls have asked me bluntly if I am looking for a wife. My basic answer is I would be looking for a girlfriend first and then we would see how that goes. Anything is possible I guess but I would definitely not be in a hurry. I'm not sure how the whole "dating scene" works there so I'm asking for some enlightenment . And I have some stupid newbie questions to ask.#1. Do you meet somewhere or pick her up in a cab?#2. Do you take her home in a cab or send her home in a cab and pay for it.#3. Do their friends come along on a date?#4. What do they expect on a date? Dinner, movie, drinks, lunch?#5. What is a respectful amount of time to wait before asking her up to your room?Stupid questions, I know, but I have no idea what to expect there. I don't want to insult anyone or hurt anyone's feelings. I know that all individuals and all situations are different and I'm just trying to get the gist of what I can expect there.

[TheMason]

I'm 60 years old, newly retired, and I want to spend some time in the PI. Maybe 6months in the PI and 6 months in Canada. I will be arriving in Dumaguete Feb.10th and staying in a hotel for a while. I don't know anyone in the PI so I checked out some dating sites and I am surprised at how many Filipinas are on the dating websites seeking foreign guys. I have chatted with some of them and many seem quite eager to meet me when I arrive. Maybe I will meet a few, maybe I won't. I'm not a dummy and I'm not hard up so I'm not worried about getting scammed. Some of the girls have asked me bluntly if I am looking for a wife. My basic answer is I would be looking for a girlfriend first and then we would see how that goes. Anything is possible I guess but I would definitely not be in a hurry. I'm not sure how the whole "dating scene" works there so I'm asking for some enlightenment . And I have some stupid newbie questions to ask.#1. Do you meet somewhere or pick her up in a cab?#2. Do you take her home in a cab or send her home in a cab and pay for it.#3. Do their friends come along on a date?#4. What do they expect on a date? Dinner, movie, drinks, lunch?#5. What is a respectful amount of time to wait before asking her up to your room?Stupid questions, I know, but I have no idea what to expect there. I don't want to insult anyone or hurt anyone's feelings. I know that all individuals and all situations are different and I'm just trying to get the gist of what I can expect there.

1. Usually meeting at a mall is best. You don't really want a stranger knowing which hotel you are at and she probably doesn't want a stranger showing up at her doorstep, especially a foreigner.2. Ask the girl what she wants. It varies. I usually offered cab fare home. Some refused and said they could handle it, others took it, and a few asked for a smaller amount for a jeepney instead of taxi.3. It is common for a chaperon to come along on a first date. Ask the girl if she plans to bring a friend. If she does, insist it is only 1 friend so you don't treat the whole neighborhood. If things are going well, the chaperon often disappears in the middle of the date.4. I always stuck to the normal dinner and a movie routine until we knew each other a bit better and could make better plans. I seldom drink so going to a bar wasn't in my plans. 5. Most won't go to bed with you on the first date if that's what you're asking. The ones that will are best avoided in my opinion.

[Mr Lee]

I'm 60 years old, newly retired, and I want to spend some time in the PI. Maybe 6months in the PI and 6 months in Canada. I will be arriving in Dumaguete Feb.10th and staying in a hotel for a while. I don't know anyone in the PI so I checked out some dating sites and I am surprised at how many Filipinas are on the dating websites seeking foreign guys. I have chatted with some of them and many seem quite eager to meet me when I arrive. Maybe I will meet a few, maybe I won't. I'm not a dummy and I'm not hard up so I'm not worried about getting scammed. Some of the girls have asked me bluntly if I am looking for a wife. My basic answer is I would be looking for a girlfriend first and then we would see how that goes. Anything is possible I guess but I would definitely not be in a hurry. I'm not sure how the whole "dating scene" works there so I'm asking for some enlightenment . And I have some stupid newbie questions to ask.#1. Do you meet somewhere or pick her up in a cab?#2. Do you take her home in a cab or send her home in a cab and pay for it.#3. Do their friends come along on a date?#4. What do they expect on a date? Dinner, movie, drinks, lunch?#5. What is a respectful amount of time to wait before asking her up to your room?Stupid questions, I know, but I have no idea what to expect there. I don't want to insult anyone or hurt anyone's feelings. I know that all individuals and all situations are different and I'm just trying to get the gist of what I can expect there.

Hi Lou,Dating in any country can be a bit of a quagmire and no one way is the correct way. I have told people that my opinion is to always do your research no matter what it is a person seeks to do and that also goes for dating. Online dating is one way to get to know the culture and hopefully also to meet some potential girlfriends but it can also get you many scammers and I believe that you would find maybe 9 scammers for every one legitimate lady you find. One of the easy ways to sort through them all is to tell them up front that you will not be anyone's ATM and that you will not be sending money to anyone until you meet them, but with that said, I do not feel it is wrong to send the cost for the lady to communicate with you, once you get to know her for a period of time and feel she is sincere.So why are there so many ladies seeking foreigners,Some are there to earn a living scamming, and some and to find a way out of their poverty, and yet some to find someone who they seem to think are better than some of the people they might find at home since they often seem to think foreigner are better than locals and I can tell you from many I have met, that many of these ladies would have been better off remaining celibate IMO. It would often also give them a chance to go to a foreign country and to get a job to help their family, something that is often just about impossible to do within their own country.OK, to now answer your questions#1 each lady will be different and most good ladies would want to meet you in a public place and bring along a chaperone, but there are always exceptions to the rule and older ladies would be more likely to take a chance and meet you on their own. I would say it would be safe to meet in a mall or in a restaurant and many ladies will like to meet you at the airport with their friends, and their reasoning would be that they could probably keep you away from the many other ladies who would also try to meet you. #2 Again, each situations would be different and I would say that you would have to ask her what she wants you to do and sending her home in a cab would be OK IMO if you paid for it and if you had met in a public place, but there really is no rule on that and it is best to play it by ear.#3. I answered that above and it will all depend on the type of girl you seek and the key word is friend and not friends, it is best to make sure she knows up front that she can bring along one friend and not an army, I have seen some poor sucker foreigners at the most expensive restaurant and with a girl and maybe 7 or 8 other people, and it was obvious that it was their first date. See where she wants to go and if she says JollyBee then maybe you have a good one and if she says a top of the line place, then dump her IMO unless you do not mind that type of lady. Different strokes for different folks. #4. What to expect is to start out slow and go someplace where you can talk and get to know each other and then progress from there to maybe a meal and a movie.#5, Boy, I can see you have not done any homework. No insult meant but each lady will again be different and many you will have to marry to become intimate with them and if you are seeking a easy woman, then I suspect you can find all you want of those back home. Many men go to the Philippines to find a wholesome lady and with different values than back home but if that is what you seek then you will also find plenty of that in the Philippines as well, but no shoe fits every person, so generalizations just do not work.Basically dating everywhere is the same, I have just found that the women that I met in the US often expected sex on a first or second date, whereas the ladies I sought out were those who were not like that and it is going to depend on what type of lady you are seeking. Some men feel they should get to sample before they lock in and others do not and I guess you will just have to be honest with what type of person you seek and see where it goes from there.Hope some of that helps and I am sorry that I cannot give you the answers that it seems you are seeking.

[lou]

Thanks guys, your answers cleared things up quite a bit. I just want to make sure I don't insult anyone or hurt anyone's feelings or unconsciously act like a barbarian . It will be like living on a different planet for a whlile but I'm sure I will get by. I appreciate your advice and viewpoints.

[sjp52]

Thanks guys, your answers cleared things up quite a bit. I just want to make sure I don't insult anyone or hurt anyone's feelings or unconsciously act like a barbarian . It will be like living on a different planet for a whlile but I'm sure I will get by. I appreciate your advice and viewpoints.

Lou. You will find that the woman here will bend over backwards to please you and treat you like you are very special. It is so much easier to date here than back home as the woman here do not expect as much and are not as demanding. Just don,t take advantage of their sweet nature as I have seen some foreigners do. I promise you, You will love it here when it comes to dating women.

[TheMason]

Lou. You will find that the woman here will bend over backwards to please you and treat you like you are very special. It is so much easier to date here than back home as the woman here do not expect as much and are not as demanding. Just don,t take advantage of their sweet nature as I have seen some foreigners do. I promise you, You will love it here when it comes to dating women.

I don't find this to be true at all. I think its more accurate to say that Filipinas are just as demanding, but in different ways. The rewards are far greater, but I don't think they are less demanding. A few things that come to mind immediately are.....-Filipinas tend to be much more jealous than Westerners.-They are more sensitive to what you say and do. Its easy to really hurt their feelings with what a Western woman would consider a mild rebuke or inconsequential remark.-Very demanding in terms of time. If you don't txt them 20 times a day, they think you are ignoring them. If you want to spend time alone, they think you don't like them anymore.-Get used to guessing what is on her mind. Filipinas will seldom tell you why they are upset like Western women will. You'll spend a lot of time scratching your head and asking her what's wrong.

[Art2ro]

Thanks guys, your answers cleared things up quite a bit. I just want to make sure I don't insult anyone or hurt anyone's feelings or unconsciously act like a barbarian . It will be like living on a different planet for a whlile but I'm sure I will get by. I appreciate your advice and viewpoints.

Lou, You will find that the woman here will bend over backwards to please you and treat you like you are very special. It is so much easier to date here than back home as the woman here do not expect as much and are not as demanding. Just don,t take advantage of their sweet nature as I have seen some foreigners do. I promise you, You will love it here when it comes to dating women.

At the age of 60, most Filipino people will label you as a (D.O.M.) "Dirty Old Man!", but it's partially on the joking side and not totally literal in the sense of the word, sort of! Hey, just come to the Philippines and enjoy yourself and if you encounter the "love of your life" for the 2nd, 3rd or 4th time in your life, more power to you and maybe lucky for her too, because she landed a nice caring and kind "D.O.M." with deep pockets or not! Just better be sure you can afford to keep her, because if not, she just may say, "Bye, Bye!!!" Before or during your marriage to her!!!! There are certain Filipinas that will be tickled pink and will love you to death if you buy them everything from under the sun, especially what's under the jewelry display case! :hystery: I said some Filipinas and not all OK?That's just my POV and no insult intended coming from this retired 61 yr old Americanized 70/30 Pinoy in the Philippines! :thumbs-up-smile: Edited February 6, 2010 by Art & Jho

[johnb]

-Get used to guessing what is on her mind. Filipinas will seldom tell you why they are upset like Western women will. You'll spend a lot of time scratching your head and asking her what's wrong.Just to give an example of masons point above, I tend to get up early each morning to feed our dogs then make a coffee, whether my wife is up or not I always make her a coffee and leave it in the Kitchen. I suffered a whole day of lip pouting, dirty looks and one word answers till I remembered that I hadn't left a coffee out that morning, it slipped my mind because I was distracted with an order for building supplies, It wasn't the coffee that upset her, it was the fact that she thought i had forgotten about her..........we've been married 8 years.

[Jollygoodfellow]

-Get used to guessing what is on her mind. Filipinas will seldom tell you why they are upset like Western women will. You'll spend a lot of time scratching your head and asking her what's wrong.Just to give an example of masons point above, I tend to get up early each morning to feed our dogs then make a coffee, whether my wife is up or not I always make her a coffee and leave it in the Kitchen. I suffered a whole day of lip pouting, dirty looks and one word answers till I remembered that I hadn't left a coffee out that morning, it slipped my mind because I was distracted with an order for building supplies, It wasn't the coffee that upset her, it was the fact that she thought i had forgotten about her..........we've been married 8 years.

Bet you never forget to feed the dogs

[Jake]

I'm 60 years old, newly retired, and I want to spend some time in the PI. Maybe 6months in the PI and 6 months in Canada. I will be arriving in Dumaguete Feb.10th and staying in a hotel for a while. I don't know anyone in the PI so I checked out some dating sites and I am surprised at how many Filipinas are on the dating websites seeking foreign guys. I have chatted with some of them and many seem quite eager to meet me when I arrive. Maybe I will meet a few, maybe I won't. I'm not a dummy and I'm not hard up so I'm not worried about getting scammed. Some of the girls have asked me bluntly if I am looking for a wife. My basic answer is I would be looking for a girlfriend first and then we would see how that goes. Anything is possible I guess but I would definitely not be in a hurry. I'm not sure how the whole "dating scene" works there so I'm asking for some enlightenment . And I have some stupid newbie questions to ask.#1. Do you meet somewhere or pick her up in a cab?#2. Do you take her home in a cab or send her home in a cab and pay for it.#3. Do their friends come along on a date?#4. What do they expect on a date? Dinner, movie, drinks, lunch?#5. What is a respectful amount of time to wait before asking her up to your room?Stupid questions, I know, but I have no idea what to expect there. I don't want to insult anyone or hurt anyone's feelings. I know that all individuals and all situations are different and I'm just trying to get the gist of what I can expect there.

Hello Lou,Ahhh, dating in a strange land could be the best adventure of your lifetime. At 60 years, whether you like it or not, you will be labeled as a DOM. But like what Art implicated, you could continue to uphold that reputation or surprise everyone with your gentleman's demeanor and random kindness. Arriving into an unknown and more remote area (Dumaguete) with no one to greet you will hit you like a heat wave as soon as you step out of the plane. Your departure from Canada is a few days from now and you have already demonstrated your curiosity and intelligence by researching from this wonderful forum. Keep plugging away my friend -- based on our own mistakes, we're here to assist you. Let's get back on track here -- finding ladies in the Philippines should be relatively easy for you, since you will be treated in most cases, a novelty. Please don't allow this form of native welcome inflate your ego. Just maintain a low profile. Maybe start a new hobby or interest that you couldn't do in a cold environment (Canada) -- like sailing or any other water sports activity. Believe me the lure of tropical sunshine and aqua blue waters will rejuvenate your juices in more ways than ever. As a retired US sailor, I've been around the block a few times. When my fellow sailors ask me what my best port visit might be, well my answer has always been the Philippines. My favorite spice in life is "brown sugar" and I'm Filipino!And finally, here is a scenario that may happen to you as you approach the end of your six months vacation in the Philippines. Can you give it all up in Canada if you fell in love with the lady of your dreams? It's a dilemma that many expats had to face at the last moment of their scheduled departure. Someone said that love is the strongest force in the universe. It is our sincere hope that you will experience that in the tropical bliss called the Philippines. Bon voyage -- Jake Edited February 6, 2010 by JOAQUIN & JUDY