vinon Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 As I have mentioned in my introductory post we are hopeful of retiring to PI in 4 years time. My wife is from Iloilo and I have been to PI many times already, therefore I feel quite sure that the PI has what we want for our retirement years. My biggest dilema at the moment is where shall we settle down? I have been to Boracay, Cebu, Batangas, Manila and of course Iloilo, all have pros and cons and I could easily settle in any of them and still be happy, but want to cover as many options as possible before making any decision; the need for which is someway off yet.I would suggest there is a wide range of experiences on this board and am interested in the views of those who have already made the leap and now reside there. If you could make that decision again and with the benefit of hindsight, where would you chose to live and why? I suspect many based their choice on family ties and wonder if that has proved to be positive or negative on your contentment factor.For those who have not yet made that leap but have already decided on location, what was the overriding factor in that decision?I hope I haven't asked too much for my first thread but I feel sure I can learn a lot from those who have already made their decisions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Art2ro Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 (edited) As I have mentioned in my introductory post we are hopeful of retiring to PI in 4 years time. My wife is from Iloilo and I have been to PI many times already, therefore I feel quite sure that the PI has what we want for our retirement years. My biggest dilema at the moment is where shall we settle down? I have been to Boracay, Cebu, Batangas, Manila and of course Iloilo, all have pros and cons and I could easily settle in any of them and still be happy, but want to cover as many options as possible before making any decision; the need for which is someway off yet.I would suggest there is a wide range of experiences on this board and am interested in the views of those who have already made the leap and now reside there. If you could make that decision again and with the benefit of hindsight, where would you chose to live and why? I suspect many based their choice on family ties and wonder if that has proved to be positive or negative on your contentment factor.For those who have not yet made that leap but have already decided on location, what was the overriding factor in that decision?I hope I haven't asked too much for my first thread but I feel sure I can learn a lot from those who have already made their decisions. We're a retired Filipino couple with U.S. citizenship, been retired in the Philippines since 1998 just using the Balikbayan Program. Deciding where to live for us was based on location, location, location and nothing to do with family or relatives which seems to be the case of most foreigners with Filipino wives. If your are not tied up with your wife's extended family, better just continue touring the Philippines until you find what you are looking for, but if your wife has strong family ties, guess what? You may be like the other foreigners I've mentioned living where your wife's family live, it's just the way most Filipino cultures are! We're just the exception to that rule because I decided that's the way I wanted to live my retirement away from the extended family! I've been there and done all that and I didn't like it, because it was always about money, money, money, money! Can't live like that anymore on a fixed income, so we just moved further away from our extended families and cut off the money flow indefinitely! Just had to do what I needed to do in order to survive ourselves! It's just the hard facts of reality! So, for the past 10 yrs, we've lived a quiet and peaceful life of solitude in a centrally located, nice, safe and clean gated community. It's just my wife and I and with none of the extended family! Edited February 18, 2010 by Art & Jho Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinon Posted February 18, 2010 Author Posted February 18, 2010 As I have mentioned in my introductory post we are hopeful of retiring to PI in 4 years time. My wife is from Iloilo and I have been to PI many times already, therefore I feel quite sure that the PI has what we want for our retirement years. My biggest dilema at the moment is where shall we settle down? I have been to Boracay, Cebu, Batangas, Manila and of course Iloilo, all have pros and cons and I could easily settle in any of them and still be happy, but want to cover as many options as possible before making any decision; the need for which is someway off yet.I would suggest there is a wide range of experiences on this board and am interested in the views of those who have already made the leap and now reside there. If you could make that decision again and with the benefit of hindsight, where would you chose to live and why? I suspect many based their choice on family ties and wonder if that has proved to be positive or negative on your contentment factor.For those who have not yet made that leap but have already decided on location, what was the overriding factor in that decision?I hope I haven't asked too much for my first thread but I feel sure I can learn a lot from those who have already made their decisions. We're a retired Filipino couple with U.S. citizenship, been retired in the Philippines since 1998 just using the Balikbayan Program. Deciding where to live for us was based on location, location, location and nothing to do with family or relatives which seems to be the case of most foreigners with Filipino wives. If your are not tied up with your wife's extended family, better just continue touring the Philippines until you find what you are looking for, but if your wife has strong family ties, guess what? You may be like the other foreigners I've mentioned living where your wife's family live, it's just the way most Filipino cultures are! We're just the exception to that rule because I decided that's the way I wanted to live my retirement away from the extended family! I've been there and done all that and I didn't like it, because it was always about money, money, money, money! Can't live like that anymore on a fixed income, so we just moved further away from our extended families and cut off the money flow indefinitely! Just had to do what I needed to do in order to survive ourselves! It's just the hard facts of reality! So, for the past 10 yrs, we've lived a quiet and peaceful life of solitude in a centrally located, nice, safe and clean gated community. It's just my wife and I and with none of the extended family! Thank you for taking the time to respond. It is interesting to hear your point of view regarding family, one I have heard from a few westerners. My wife is worried about living close by, she is all too aware that I still find it difficult to get my head around the expecttions of extended family members. Whilst I am happy to help out in a true emergency my idea of an emergency is way different to theirs, therefore she would rather avoid embarrasment/conflict. We also will be on a fixed income, and whilst there is no hiding the fact it is way better than 90% of the Filipinos, it still won't provide the level of comfort I would want. Besides money isn't even half the issue, that is more about our home being our exclusive little castle where we have control over who enters. I know this is going to be a difficult area and one I may lose but like you I do think our decision will be based purely upon location and what that offers in relation to our expectations. Can you tell me the area where you are and why there as opposed to anywhere else? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjp52 Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 As I have mentioned in my introductory post we are hopeful of retiring to PI in 4 years time. My wife is from Iloilo and I have been to PI many times already, therefore I feel quite sure that the PI has what we want for our retirement years. My biggest dilema at the moment is where shall we settle down? I have been to Boracay, Cebu, Batangas, Manila and of course Iloilo, all have pros and cons and I could easily settle in any of them and still be happy, but want to cover as many options as possible before making any decision; the need for which is someway off yet.I would suggest there is a wide range of experiences on this board and am interested in the views of those who have already made the leap and now reside there. If you could make that decision again and with the benefit of hindsight, where would you chose to live and why? I suspect many based their choice on family ties and wonder if that has proved to be positive or negative on your contentment factor.For those who have not yet made that leap but have already decided on location, what was the overriding factor in that decision?I hope I haven't asked too much for my first thread but I feel sure I can learn a lot from those who have already made their decisions. For a foreigner just starting to live in the Philippines, It is nice to be close to your wifes family as they will be close to you fast and look out for you. Your wife I think will also like to be close to her family as starting some where new with no friends is a little hard at first. My wifes family lives in Cagayan de oro and it is a nice city but I know there are nicer places to live in Philly. But for now to keep her happy we will start off there and maybe in time we will start to look other places. Living close to your wifes family can also be a negative thing as I have endured a lot of cost associated with her family. You might say that you will let them fend for themselves but when a hospital bill wipes them out financially and you are there with all your money, Its hard to say no. I have always dreamed of retiring on a beautiful island with nice white sand and a place right on the beach, But have come to realize that it is just too expensive to do that. So now I will look for a nice house in a secure sub division where it is safe. I guess in the end we just need to find a place that when we walk out side and look around it feels just like home Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Singers Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 (edited) As I have mentioned in my introductory post we are hopeful of retiring to PI in 4 years time. My wife is from Iloilo and I have been to PI many times already, therefore I feel quite sure that the PI has what we want for our retirement years. My biggest dilema at the moment is where shall we settle down? I have been to Boracay, Cebu, Batangas, Manila and of course Iloilo, all have pros and cons and I could easily settle in any of them and still be happy, but want to cover as many options as possible before making any decision; the need for which is someway off yet.I would suggest there is a wide range of experiences on this board and am interested in the views of those who have already made the leap and now reside there. If you could make that decision again and with the benefit of hindsight, where would you chose to live and why? I suspect many based their choice on family ties and wonder if that has proved to be positive or negative on your contentment factor.For those who have not yet made that leap but have already decided on location, what was the overriding factor in that decision?I hope I haven't asked too much for my first thread but I feel sure I can learn a lot from those who have already made their decisions. Hi Vin,Welcome to the Group.Wife close to Family = BLISS for most FilipinaThe other considerations are the Security you will have from being in her BRGY. Neighbours WILL look out for your welfare. Strangers will have a "Watch" system to penetrate. You will have a Family around you which should help you settle more easily.?Rent initially AND you can always move!?? later.UK Tom Edited February 18, 2010 by Singers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Lee Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 I will add here a some more to my last post in the intro section for vinon.Most of my wifes family are in Mindanao and while my wifes brothers and sisters are not usually a problem and both her parents have passed on, the nieces and nephews can at times come up with the silliest reasons for asking for money so we decided that this is for our retirement and not about just their lives. Now this may sound selfish but I feel that we all also have to realize that our extended families have gotten along for many years without us and had our wives never married us or if and when we are gone from this earth, then the extended families would have to learn to again get along without us. Now real emergencies are another story and we always ask for phone numbers of doctors and hospitals and if the family cannot provide that, then they do not get money from us for those so called emergencies. It seems that there can be feast or famine in the emergency category and one has to decide which items are the most important to us and if we are rich and can afford to just give for every single request then maybe we should and maybe would should not, but once retired then it seems the gravy train is no longer running and our survival and the lifestyle we wish to live then becomes the priority for us. After all, it is our wife that we married and not the whole family but we also have to make our wives happy and sometimes that includes helping her family and IMO that means in real emergencies and to help feed the family if they fall on hard times but not for just any silly request.Now I am not telling anyone to not give to their families but I am telling people to look beyond your life and think about what will happen to our families once we are gone and once the gravy train then stops. I see and hear about many retirees that set their wives and families up in homes that would be beyond their abilities to upkeep once they are gone, so if you decide to live close by and if you decide to set your families up with a steady stream of income, then it might be wise to look into the future and be sure that your wife will be able to continue that stream of income to them once we are gone or what will then happen to the homes or lifestyle they have become accustomed to and for that reason we decided to buy a small condo which would be manageable for my wife to continue to upkeep and then to buy a couple of additional small studios that could be rented out for the income necessary to help her maintain the unit she decides to live in. Owning a home here in the Philippines is also a great choice for people who wish to have property but a condo provides security and the ability to walk away and travel around the Philippines to visit family or to just plain travel and lock the doors and know it is probably going to be pretty secure when you are gone and a home will probably not offer that unless you have family living in it with you and that then usually means supporting them in one form or another. So it is all about choice but everyone should take all things into consideration when picking a place and our choice was to be within traveling distance to all but not too close and in a place where family cannot just drop in and a condo offers the ability that no one can just drop in without the security calling up to make sure it is OK with us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Singers Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 I will add here a some more to my last post in the intro section for vinon.Most of my wifes family are in Mindanao and while my wifes brothers and sisters are not usually a problem and both her parents have passed on, the nieces and nephews can at times come up with the silliest reasons for asking for money so we decided that this is for our retirement and not about just their lives. Now this may sound selfish but I feel that we all also have to realize that our extended families have gotten along for many years without us and had our wives never married us or if and when we are gone from this earth, then the extended families would have to learn to again get along without us. Now real emergencies are another story and we always ask for phone numbers of doctors and hospitals and if the family cannot provide that, then they do not get money from us for those so called emergencies. It seems that there can be feast or famine in the emergency category and one has to decide which items are the most important to us and if we are rich and can afford to just give for every single request then maybe we should and maybe would should not, but once retired then it seems the gravy train is no longer running and our survival and the lifestyle we wish to live then becomes the priority for us. After all, it is our wife that we married and not the whole family but we also have to make our wives happy and sometimes that includes helping her family and IMO that means in real emergencies and to help feed the family if they fall on hard times but not for just any silly request.Now I am not telling anyone to not give to their families but I am telling people to look beyond your life and think about what will happen to our families once we are gone and once the gravy train then stops. I see and hear about many retirees that set their wives and families up in homes that would be beyond their abilities to upkeep once they are gone, so if you decide to live close by and if you decide to set your families up with a steady stream of income, then it might be wise to look into the future and be sure that your wife will be able to continue that stream of income to them once we are gone or what will then happen to the homes or lifestyle they have become accustomed to and for that reason we decided to buy a small condo which would be manageable for my wife to continue to upkeep and then to buy a couple of additional small studios that could be rented out for the income necessary to help her maintain the unit she decides to live in. Owning a home here in the Philippines is also a great choice for people who wish to have property but a condo provides security and the ability to walk away and travel around the Philippines to visit family or to just plain travel and lock the doors and know it is probably going to be pretty secure when you are gone and a home will probably not offer that unless you have family living in it with you and that then usually means supporting them in one form or another. So it is all about choice but everyone should take all things into consideration when picking a place and our choice was to be within traveling distance to all but not too close and in a place where family cannot just drop in and a condo offers the ability that no one can just drop in without the security calling up to make sure it is OK with us. SOoo Leigh,We are on the subject of personal choice.!?WE made a choice.Beautiful Asian Ladies. (as appose to "Whatever!") Whatever!---what a sh&t expression.?I DO NOT mean Physical Beauty (I do) BUT I DO mean the warmth and Love most Far Eastern Women Possess ? AND willingly give to US Western men. The caring Filipina have these qualities more than most "Asian's". They are Lovely Ladies.It is the love of their Families that is expressed in "THE imposed GUILT" (remittances) as in another post on the increase in remittances to PI. Cultural differences. Yes.Shun the family, financially, and, me thinks, you will live with a VERY unhappy Filiina. UK Tom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Lee Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 SOoo Leigh,We are on the subject of personal choice.!?WE made a choice.Beautiful Asian Ladies. (as appose to "Whatever!") Whatever!---what a sh&t expression.?I DO NOT mean Physical Beauty (I do) BUT I DO mean the warmth and Love most Far Eastern Women Possess ? AND willingly give to US Western men. The caring Filipina have these qualities more than most "Asian's". They are Lovely Ladies.It is the love of their Families that is expressed in "THE imposed GUILT" (remittances) as in another post on the increase in remittances to PI. Cultural differences. Yes.Shun the family, financially, and, me thinks, you will live with a VERY unhappy Filiina. UK Tom Tom, first of all my name is spelled Lee if you are referencing me and quoting me? and next it is all about personal choices and our ability to live a lifestyle that we wish to, and with our wives. My wife is fine with what we have decided on and she agrees with me on how to deal with her family. I think it is important to say again that my wifes parents have passed on, so now we are dealing with the extended family and in doing such, I have no problem in helping those who try to help themselves but I will not be a cash cow for someone who does not try to help themselves. We have given large amounts of money to our family over the years and most have nothing to show for it, we have also set up some sisters in a piggery only for it to fail and I have also sent 6 of our nieces and nephews to college and only one graduated and he did not even pass the final exam to get his license, even though I sent him to summer school every year and paid for a preparation class for the exam, so while I would love to make a difference, I am at a loss as to how and giving money is NOT the answer IMO. So what I said above and what I am saying now, is that I have been on and have read forums for quite a while and have read all the horror stories and the only ones that seem to succeed are the hands on set ups of small businesses when the family is one who wishes to work toward their future and not one who wishes to take the money and waste it on frivolous things. The main problem that I have found with many poor people in the Philippines and even in the US, is that they will usually live for today and not plan for tomorrow. I have given the equivalent of US $400 at one time to each of my wifes 11 then still alive brothers and sisters, only for it to end up gone within hours and what they spent it on is a mystery to us all since they were used to living on a couple of dollars a day. So had they bought land or an animal or item that would help them make money, then that would have been OK but throwing money at a problem such as poverty is basically like flushing it down the toilet IMO and I have already flushed way too much money down the toilet during our over 15 years of marriage and unless we find a way that will work for their future, then the faucet has run dry for now except for emergencies. Now again I say, for those of you who happen to have more money than you will ever need for yours and your wifes lifetime, by all means throw money at the problem because the more you people throw at it, the better the economy of the Philippines will become and in turn you will be helping our family as well as yours, but also remember that the money you and others throw at the problem will also lower the exchange rate that we all end up getting for our dollar or euros or whatever currency you exchange for pesos. The inflow of money is what indirectly causes the lower exchange rate that we all end up getting and ends up hurting us all in the end IMO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UZI Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 As I have mentioned in my introductory post we are hopeful of retiring to PI in 4 years time. My wife is from Iloilo and I have been to PI many times already, therefore I feel quite sure that the PI has what we want for our retirement years. My biggest dilema at the moment is where shall we settle down? I have been to Boracay, Cebu, Batangas, Manila and of course Iloilo, all have pros and cons and I could easily settle in any of them and still be happy, but want to cover as many options as possible before making any decision; the need for which is someway off yet.I would suggest there is a wide range of experiences on this board and am interested in the views of those who have already made the leap and now reside there. If you could make that decision again and with the benefit of hindsight, where would you chose to live and why? I suspect many based their choice on family ties and wonder if that has proved to be positive or negative on your contentment factor.For those who have not yet made that leap but have already decided on location, what was the overriding factor in that decision?I hope I haven't asked too much for my first thread but I feel sure I can learn a lot from those who have already made their decisions. Hi Vin,Welcome to the Group.Wife close to Family = BLISS for most FilipinaThe other considerations are the Security you will have from being in her BRGY. Neighbours WILL look out for your welfare. Strangers will have a "Watch" system to penetrate. You will have a Family around you which should help you settle more easily.?Rent initially AND you can always move!?? later.UK Tom Hi Tom,Good advise simply put. Some of us love to be close to her family & for others, they didn't set out the rules from the start. If you have the right family relationship & you like the area, then you are correct in the advise to rent 1st. Selling a house here is not quick or easy, if you got it wrong.Each of us needs to look at our individual circumstances when we marry. Is your new wife from a very poor family or are some family members already helping. My wife's family has members living & working abroad, all helping out. Talk to your wife about setting the rules from the start. My wife's family has always respected my space & privacy. They rarely ask for money but each time they have it is for a real need. Everybody has their own story & one size does not fit all.We did not choose Sta Rosa & a gated community to be away from the family, we in fact miss being with them. We chose here for the area, the quiet, fresh cool breezes, the proximity to good hospitals & western foods. Pretty much whatever western needs we have, we can get here. That may not be your priority and being in a real Filipino community is.For us, when we go to Cebu, it feels different. Almost like a different country from where we live. I expect, Vinon, you saw that too as Boracay is not the same as Iloilo or for sure, Manila.The good thing is those that have time before coming here like Vinon, get to know your wife 1st & then the family before chosing where to live.Good luckUZI. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Singers Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 (edited) As I have mentioned in my introductory post we are hopeful of retiring to PI in 4 years time. My wife is from Iloilo and I have been to PI many times already, therefore I feel quite sure that the PI has what we want for our retirement years. My biggest dilema at the moment is where shall we settle down? I have been to Boracay, Cebu, Batangas, Manila and of course Iloilo, all have pros and cons and I could easily settle in any of them and still be happy, but want to cover as many options as possible before making any decision; the need for which is someway off yet.I would suggest there is a wide range of experiences on this board and am interested in the views of those who have already made the leap and now reside there. If you could make that decision again and with the benefit of hindsight, where would you chose to live and why? I suspect many based their choice on family ties and wonder if that has proved to be positive or negative on your contentment factor.For those who have not yet made that leap but have already decided on location, what was the overriding factor in that decision?I hope I haven't asked too much for my first thread but I feel sure I can learn a lot from those who have already made their decisions. Hi Vin,Welcome to the Group.Wife close to Family = BLISS for most FilipinaThe other considerations are the Security you will have from being in her BRGY. Neighbours WILL look out for your welfare. Strangers will have a "Watch" system to penetrate. You will have a Family around you which should help you settle more easily.?Rent initially AND you can always move!?? later.UK Tom Hi Tom,Good advise simply put. Some of us love to be close to her family & for others, they didn't set out the rules from the start. If you have the right family relationship & you like the area, then you are correct in the advise to rent 1st. Selling a house here is not quick or easy, if you got it wrong.Each of us needs to look at our individual circumstances when we marry. Is your new wife from a very poor family or are some family members already helping. My wife's family has members living & working abroad, all helping out. Talk to your wife about setting the rules from the start. My wife's family has always respected my space & privacy. They rarely ask for money but each time they have it is for a real need. Everybody has their own story & one size does not fit all.We did not choose Sta Rosa & a gated community to be away from the family, we in fact miss being with them. We chose here for the area, the quiet, fresh cool breezes, the proximity to good hospitals & western foods. Pretty much whatever western needs we have, we can get here. That may not be your priority and being in a real Filipino community is.For us, when we go to Cebu, it feels different. Almost like a different country from where we live. I expect, Vinon, you saw that too as Boracay is not the same as Iloilo or for sure, Manila.The good thing is those that have time before coming here like Vinon, get to know your wife 1st & then the family before chosing where to live.Good luckUZI. Hi Snoozi,Of course.. Above..My "needs" = Tranquility. Boredom to most. Boring Fk that I now am now --- thankfully.Rent a house 1st. ? Me thinks.? Keep a exit? (Exodus)Yer mate?.Tom Edited February 19, 2010 by Singers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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