Mr Lee Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 (edited) First let me say that I have little to no experience with Philippine bar girls here, yet I did manage a totally nude club back in the US for a number of years, so I have some insight into what happens to an otherwise nice lady, who starts to work that type of life. Now the girls in the US were not supposed to date the customers, and were in fact not allowed to leave with any customers, yet I am sure that did not stop many from meeting customers after working hours, or on their days off, how do I know this, because I had seen it first hand in the parking lot of Denny's restaurant down the road from the club when I went to breakfast with some of the bouncers. What did I see, I am sure you can all guess about the heads and butts bouncing up and down in the cars. Next let me say that we cannot totally compare women in the Philippines with women in the states, yet we had women of all ethnic backgrounds who worked for us, and some of them were Filipinas, Chinese, Japanese, Brazilian, etc, etc, etc, so I pretty much have seen the gamut of women from just about every culture on the face of this earth who worked as strippers, and many of each variety. So what did I observe, I observed some nice and naive ladies who said they had never stripped before when I interviewed them for the job, start out innocent just dancing and then the allure of the money and the peer pressure, and maybe the alcohol finally got to them, and before very long most were doing drugs, getting pretty drunk, and turning tricks and most of all talking pretty dirty to me directly and telling me of some of their escapes. So what does that say for someone who already started out turning tricks? OK, you are going to yell at me and say it is different, so please tell me how it is different? The lady goes to work, gets paid to go with a man and have sex, so how different are we really talking, since our girls only got paid to strip, yet ended up having sex with many of the customers. Anyway, next comes the lies and games and the fine tuning of their skills at lying and cheating to just about anyone who walking through the doors, and that included myself (their boss) and their boyfriends, who some of which later on became their pimps, yet some did marry, yet I only knew of one marriage amongst them that lasted, since the guys always seemed to come back and tell me what whores their wives turned out to be and how they cheated on them and started turning tricks on the side. I would just say, you married one and then you expected them to change, and their eyes would often light up with the realization of what was totally true. Now before anyone jumps on my case, these were real men that I got to know, and real ladies who started out pretty nice, and I am not talking about the hardened strippers who had been working years, because those were already beyond any help IMHO and often ended up in jail or dead of drug overdoses and car accidents from driving drunk or under the influence, and a couple got themselves killed in heinous ways by the customers they went with. You see it takes a lot out of a nice woman who has to do those things, and many ended up needing crutches of one sort or another to do the things that they never dreamed of doing in their life, including just stripping in front of a lot of pretty weird men, and also their fellow ladies. So while in the back room and the bathrooms, both places that I had full access to prevent on premiss's drug use, or illegal sex acts between the employees and the customers, I often found these ladies getting it on with each other and doing some pretty weird stuff in the rest rooms. Yes that was part of my job and the ladies all signed a paper fully understanding that they had no privacy anywhere in the club, so to prevent possible problems. Anyway, some of you may have met the exception to the rule, or think you have, but only once in the whole time I worked in those clubs, did I see one girl who went on to a normal life, it was an 18 year old Brazilian girl, whose sister brought her into the life, and whose sister totally protected her while she was at work, so while her sister did a lot of bad things, she did not allow her baby sister to do any of them since she was her protector, so that girl ended up marrying a pretty nice guy who was a good customer in the club, and then went on to a nice life with children and a normal house and family, and that continued on some 10 plus years after she stopped working at the club, so I am pretty sure it lasted, because they both seemed truly in love, but that was the only one I knew of that worked, and that was because she never became hardened. OK so those of you who know bar girls, both past and present, tell us how many marriages and longterm relationships that you know of that have worked out, because I know of literally hundreds upon hundreds that did not? Yet I am hoping that thousands of you will chime in and tell me of all the ones that actually worked out here in the Philippines. IMHO getting involved with a lady who has led the life is a can of worms, yet I am sure some of those relationships do work out and I already know of one, the guy name Paol, who seemed to be working out the last time he emailed me, but it has not been years yet and time will tell, yet his lady did seem to be the exception and not the rule, based on the things he told me about her, but who knows if it was all true or not. :dreams: Edited April 14, 2011 by Kuya Lee edit to cross out because it no longer applies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Hounddriver Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 The bar girl/foreigner relationships I have seen 'work' in the Philippines are like Richard Gere and Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.If the girl is only doing it for the money, is not doing drugs and has not developed a taste for alcohol. If the man is loaded by Philippine standards. If he treats her like a princess. Then I have seen it work. But is it really working? Because most of those girls were already in relationships with other foreigners but dumped them and kept trading up until they found the richest one possible. If the guy was suddenly broke or a MUCH richer guy came into the picture or the girl managed to get enough money out of him that she did not need him anymore then there is usually trouble, (although the point of view of the guys I know in those types of relationships is that the girl changes after a couple of years and a couple of kids).I would not try it, but I am not rich enough to have that opportunity anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ironmaiden Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 I think everybody has seen plenty of examples to conclude that the majority cannot turn their lives around. I think for a relationship to work you need 2 key elements: you need to find a girl that doesn't like the bar and wants to get out as soon as possible AND she needs to be at least a little bit attracted to you. If she's not, then the relationship is only about money and those won't last. Many girls in the bars come from poor rural areas where there's really nothing to do and quickly start to "enjoy" their job in the bar. I don't mean they like to go with customers but they enjoy the music, dancing and having lots of " friends" in the bar ( they don't realise yet those aren't real friends). Soon they find out going home to visit their family is quite boring after a week, cause there is really nothing to do. And of course it's easy money, now they can send money home and buy clothes, nice cellphones... I've seen it happen lots of times. 15 years ago it was easy to find a girl in the bar to get serious with (that didn't yet mean that relationship was going to last of course) because in those days, you couldn't really make money in the bar. But nowadays with the higher salarys, expensive ladysdrinks and so many nice things around to buy, more and more girls are becoming professionals very fast and only care about lots of ladys drinks, short times and go home (to their Pilipino boyfriends?). Not surprisingly, there aren't many examples of lasting relationships around. And of course, chances of starting a lasting relationship with someone you hardly know are pretty slim. How many men get involved with girls after a short holiday or even on the internet? No wonder... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 I think everybody has seen plenty of examples to conclude that the majority cannot turn their lives around. I think for a relationship to work you need 2 key elements: you need to find a girl that doesn't like the bar and wants to get out as soon as possible AND she needs to be at least a little bit attracted to you. If she's not, then the relationship is only about money and those won't last. Many girls in the bars come from poor rural areas where there's really nothing to do and quickly start to "enjoy" their job in the bar. I don't mean they like to go with customers but they enjoy the music, dancing and having lots of " friends" in the bar ( they don't realise yet those aren't real friends). Soon they find out going home to visit their family is quite boring after a week, cause there is really nothing to do. And of course it's easy money, now they can send money home and buy clothes, nice cellphones... I've seen it happen lots of times. 15 years ago it was easy to find a girl in the bar to get serious with (that didn't yet mean that relationship was going to last of course) because in those days, you couldn't really make money in the bar. But nowadays with the higher salarys, expensive ladysdrinks and so many nice things around to buy, more and more girls are becoming professionals very fast and only care about lots of ladys drinks, short times and go home (to their Pilipino boyfriends?). Not surprisingly, there aren't many examples of lasting relationships around. And of course, chances of starting a lasting relationship with someone you hardly know are pretty slim. How many men get involved with girls after a short holiday or even on the internet? No wonder... Hello Luc,Totally agree with you about those two key elements. There will always be a gentleman with a noble heart in his innocent attempt to reform these ladies. But the percentages are working against this relationship from the very start. As Kuya Lee pointed out, the ladies start out innocent but most fall victims of the fast life with fast money. Drug and alcohol addiction, voluntary or forced prostitution and the sink hole gets deeper and deeper. Is there no salvation from this lifestyle? I sympathize with these young girls but I have no real solution to relieve their pain andsorrow.By the way Ironmaiden -- welcome aboard, respectfully -- Jake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
softail Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 With the abundance of beautiful women to pick from that have good wholesome backgrounds why on earth would anyone take a chance on a bar girl in the first place? Nothing like trying to build a relationship with a "well used women".Doug Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlyAway Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 I know of successes from years ago. Have not heard any good these days. Same can be said of the internet cybersex cam girls. Put them in the same catagory as the bar girls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Lee Posted April 14, 2011 Author Posted April 14, 2011 I think everybody has seen plenty of examples to conclude that the majority cannot turn their lives around. I think for a relationship to work you need 2 key elements: you need to find a girl that doesn't like the bar and wants to get out as soon as possible AND she needs to be at least a little bit attracted to you. If she's not, then the relationship is only about money and those won't last. Many girls in the bars come from poor rural areas where there's really nothing to do and quickly start to "enjoy" their job in the bar. I don't mean they like to go with customers but they enjoy the music, dancing and having lots of " friends" in the bar ( they don't realise yet those aren't real friends). Soon they find out going home to visit their family is quite boring after a week, cause there is really nothing to do. And of course it's easy money, now they can send money home and buy clothes, nice cellphones... I've seen it happen lots of times. 15 years ago it was easy to find a girl in the bar to get serious with (that didn't yet mean that relationship was going to last of course) because in those days, you couldn't really make money in the bar. But nowadays with the higher salarys, expensive ladysdrinks and so many nice things around to buy, more and more girls are becoming professionals very fast and only care about lots of ladys drinks, short times and go home (to their Pilipino boyfriends?). Not surprisingly, there aren't many examples of lasting relationships around. And of course, chances of starting a lasting relationship with someone you hardly know are pretty slim. How many men get involved with girls after a short holiday or even on the internet? No wonder... You made some excellent points, and some of what was written in THIS THREAD might give additional insight into this topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Lee Posted April 14, 2011 Author Posted April 14, 2011 With the abundance of beautiful women to pick from that have good wholesome backgrounds why on earth would anyone take a chance on a bar girl in the first place? Nothing like trying to build a relationship with a "well used women".Doug Totally agree, but some men who happen to have big and kind hearts, have the white knight complex, and just have to try to save them. I know of successes from years ago. Have not heard any good these days. Same can be said of the internet cybersex cam girls. Put them in the same catagory as the bar girls. I am not sure showing ones body for money taints them quite as much as actually having sex with many different men and women and having to do some things that are way above and beyond just sex, after all there has always been models who show their bodies and do not turn into bad women, but I guess it can get a poor girl used to easy money, so maybe it applies in that aspect. :dreams: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Art2ro Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 (edited) I just feel bad for those guys who are or were married to ex-bar girls and reading this topic which seem the majority has negative opinions and or comments! So, I won't aid anymore to this topic, because it's a painful subject, except for those few who have changed for the better! I believe it all depends on the self esteem of one's self to better themselves or not or they just don't care anymore and feeling hopeless! It's a crap shoot of life for a bar girl to change their ways only if they have any sense of decency and shelf worth left! Life is sometimes just what it is and there's no going back, but forward for the best intentions hopefully! I will only give advise or my opinion if asked in private in a one on one private conversation and not on an open forum! I don't know how Paol could have done that on an open forum through Lee, but it was his choice! No wonder he didn't expose himself out in the open, it would just be too embarrassing for him or anyone to do so! Edited April 14, 2011 by Art2ro Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Lee Posted April 15, 2011 Author Posted April 15, 2011 Speaking of x-bargirls changing, I saw the Santos woman on TV last night, the one who has been charged along with the British guy for killing that poor little girl, and that lady looked like a whore to me, (I am not saying she is) the way she was dressed with a fishnet blouse way low cut with her bra and big boobs sticking out and a big gold chain around her neck with a very, very large and heavy gold figure hanging down in the middle of her breasts that must have been at least 8 inches long and must be worth about $20,000 or more at todays gold costs, and looked to me to be a Satanic figure with horns like a goat or cow but it was hard to make out for sure on the TV. If I had to base her guilt or innocence on just the way she dressed, looked, acted and spoke, I would find her guilty of all charges. Is she, that is up to the courts. Anyway, I hope some X-bargirls can turn their lives around, but if anyone is an example that someone cannot change, then that woman sure seems like a prime example of someone who sure looks like she did not change even one little bit, so I would now be willing to put money on her probably guilt in at least running an online xrated site, since there is no way that I know of that she could have a home, vehicle and jewelry like that without some type of illegal business, unless her British BF is a whale and not a fish and is working just to support her and her lifestyle. If I was the one to investigate this case, I would demand she show how she acquired all those items and where the cash came from. i Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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