Jollygoodfellow Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 (edited) Hey guys,this is really a serious question and I hope I get some serious feedback..Is there really such a thing as a mid life crises or male menopause? Has anyone ever felt the need to look back at their life and wonder why?Without giving away to much , that's how I feel,I feel lost,I don't know why?I'm confused as what direction life is meant to take or the direction i should take.Does anyone else look at themselves and wonder where the last twenty years went as it was just yesterday it seems.Grey hairs, excess weight, realizing one needs glasses,memory loss,damn what was this post about!.Honestly I feel that I am reaching the end of something although I dont know what it is.And what about being a grumpy old fart,is that normal when you do not consider your self old?Sorry for a confusing post. Edited July 8, 2011 by Boss Man added a bit I forgot to,damn what did I forget. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Lee Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 Hey guys,this is really a serious question and I hope I get some serious feedback..Is there really such a thing as a mid life crises or male menopause? Has anyone ever felt the need to look back at their life and wonder why?Without giving away to much , that's how I feel,I feel lost,I don't know why?I'm confused as what direction life is meant to take or the direction i should take.Does anyone else look at themselves and wonder where the last twenty years went as it was just yesterday it seems.Grey hairs, excess weight, realizing one needs glasses,memory loss,damn what was this post about!.Honestly I feel that I am reaching the end of something although I dont know what it is.And what about being a grumpy old fart,is that normal when you do not consider your self old?Sorry for a confusing post. Tom, all I can say is that most of us feel lost at one time or another, or look back and wish we did things differently. The main thing that drives us is the need to feed and house ourselves, so making money is what is important in life, so we can exist. I know of few people who like what they do for a living, so most do it because that is what they know how to do. When I was a kid I used to work on cars and build race cars, which I loved, but I did not have the money or backing to get into it as a business, so I knew I had to take another direction that would have a pension and future, yet one of my good friends back then had family money, so he got to live his life dream and is still building race engines and racing cars. I guess in the end it all worked out because while he is rich, he is not happy from what I have been told, and I got to where I am and no longer have to work and am basically happy, yet he is still working. One of the things that is hard about a forum about the Philippines and even living in the Philippines, is that so many are retired and enjoying themselves on the forum or in the Philippines, so it is hard to sit back and watch without feeling upset to some degree, yet most are much older than you and your time should hopefully come with age. I learned a long time ago that it is not how much a person earns, but how much they spend that takes them to their future, yet many never have enough to just live a normal life and set aside anything for their future. Life is not always fair, but it is all we have. I hope you work it all out my friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jollygoodfellow Posted July 8, 2011 Author Posted July 8, 2011 Hey guys,this is really a serious question and I hope I get some serious feedback..Is there really such a thing as a mid life crises or male menopause? Has anyone ever felt the need to look back at their life and wonder why?Without giving away to much , that's how I feel,I feel lost,I don't know why?I'm confused as what direction life is meant to take or the direction i should take.Does anyone else look at themselves and wonder where the last twenty years went as it was just yesterday it seems.Grey hairs, excess weight, realizing one needs glasses,memory loss,damn what was this post about!.Honestly I feel that I am reaching the end of something although I dont know what it is.And what about being a grumpy old fart,is that normal when you do not consider your self old?Sorry for a confusing post. Tom, all I can say is that most of us feel lost at one time or another, or look back and wish we did things differently. The main thing that drives us is the need to feed and house ourselves, so making money is what is important in life, so we can exist. I know of few people who like what they do for a living, so most do it because that is what they know how to do. When I was a kid I used to work on cars and build race cars, which I loved, but I did not have the money or backing to get into it as a business, so I knew I had to take another direction that would have a pension and future, yet one of my good friends back then had family money, so he got to live his life dream and is still building race engines and racing cars. I guess in the end it all worked out because while he is rich, he is not happy from what I have been told, and I got to where I am and no longer have to work and am basically happy, yet he is still working. One of the things that is hard about a forum about the Philippines and even living in the Philippines, is that so many are retired and enjoying themselves on the forum or in the Philippines, so it is hard to sit back and watch without feeling upset to some degree, yet most are much older than you and your time should hopefully come with age. I learned a long time ago that it is not how much a person earns, but how much they spend that takes them to their future, yet many never have enough to just live a normal life and set aside anything for their future. Life is not always fair, but it is all we have. I hope you work it all out my friend. Thank you for your reply ,but really did not answer my questions in anyway unless I asked about money but cant remember asking about that.Sorry if my reply sounds harsh,time to knit one pearl one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Lee Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 Thank you for your reply ,but really did not answer my questions in anyway unless I asked about money but cant remember asking about that.Sorry if my reply sounds harsh,time to knit one pearl one. Sorry Tom about my reply not helping, but life is all about money, so you did not have to ask about money, money is the driving force that prevents us from doing the things we wish to do. So yes even with being retired and seeming to have everything a man could ask for, I often feel lost and confused and definitely forgetful. The more complicated life seems to become, the more I feel like I woke up on a strange planet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum Support Old55 Posted July 8, 2011 Forum Support Posted July 8, 2011 All men go through what you describe at some point in life. Sometimes it can be overwhelming and for others a minor distraction. Denying those feelings or suppressing them is not a good strategy. I had some of the same issues in my early 50’s and again now thankfully nothing serious in my case. The time comes and you realize you are not ten feet tall and bullet proof but mortal and the clock is been ticking many years now. As men age hormones change and sometimes our health can decline we can gain weight and find that we can’t do those things that we took for granted in the past. Depression can also become a problem in older men. This can be a very serious problem in some instances. You are considering making major life changes so it would be very natural and normal to have some degree of anxiety even fear. Reflection on the past is normal. How can we have wisdom without learning from our past? I know I have some regrets but we learn from our mistakes and move on.Tom there is good news because there are two known cures for the exact things you speak of. One is to go out and buy a red sports car and bang a few 18-year-old gals.:) Or marry a Filipina!:SugarwareZ-037: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Hounddriver Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 Is there really such a thing as a mid life crises or male menopause? I believe they are 2 different things. The second has been discussed here before and the solution is testosterone treatment but see your doctor first.The first item can happen many times. Usually when the direction of your life changes such as marriage break up, retirement or loss of job, bankruptcy, or often you see it in a 70 year old guy where all 3 things happen and he moves to the Philippines to be with an 18 year old. Bottom line is it can happen any time after mid life, once you realize you are not immortal, (to paraphrase what Lee was saying). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roy2cebu Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 Hi Tom,you won't be alone with your 'problem'.I would think all men go through that at some stage. Can be triggered by a whole lot of reasons. I think the main one being...sh&t! what's all this about, what have I achieved?Have gone through it myself, have felt cheated after helping folk and then getting sh&t on, various nagging thoughts.Now, I focus on getting fit and decided to opt out of rat race. Not working to just survive day to day. will do harvest contracts in Oz for 6 months, save then head back here for 6 months, live cheaply and have a good time. Hopefully then will have saved enough between ourselves (me and partner) for retirement.I gave you my idea a while ago....think on it. Join me in Mildura Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RetiredNavyGuy Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 Tom,I went through a period of time where I looked at my life and wondered what I had accomplished. That can be brutal! I was lucky, I had a friend that helped me realize that I had accomplished a lot, even though it hadn't always been in the areas and directions I had intended. For example, -- I am not rich like I intended to be when I was younger, but I have two marvelous kids, now in their 30's, who have never been in trouble and never been involved with drugs. In fact, my daughter is a career Coast Guard Officer. I am proud of both of them. How does that relate to your question? Simple. Although I was gone a lot when they were growing up (active Navy during Vietnam), when I was home, I focused my time and energy on my family, not on building a second career or building my own business. Those decisions, made instinctively at the time, certainly didn't move me in the direction I had originally envisioned for my life. However, would I say I have been less of a success because of my decisions back then? No, I wouldn't say that NOW, but there was a time when it became clear that I wasn't ever going to be the world's richest man, that I had some doubts. Now I know I have been successful, just in different ways. Heck, even the decision to make the Navy a career rather than build a career in civilian industry can be viewed several different ways.There is nothing wrong with evaluating our life from time to time. It may highlight areas that we want to change, opportunities that we didn't have earlier, etc. Every successful business does that regularly. Why should individuals and their life plans be any different?However, sometimes its not so much our life that needs to change, as our viewpoint. If we are disappointed with what we have accomplished, that almost always is the result of comparing "what is" with what our "plan" was. ...but plans change, focus changes. Sometimes we just need to acknowledge that, and much of the depression goes away.I'm not rich, and now acknowledge I never will be. (No longer even want to be). I'm not famous, and HOPEFULLY never will be, at least for the wrong reasons. I don't have a legacy to leave my children, and unlikely to build one now (But that may be better for them any way in many respects).But I raised two marvelous kids, and proudly served my country at a time most of my contemporaries were running for Canada. Now, I am at the point in my life that I can focus on the inner person, something I always knew I should be doing but somehow never had the time to do. There was a time I would have evaluated my life as a failure! I no longer do. THE ONLY THING THAT CHANGED WAS MY POINT OF VIEW!Hope that helps in some way.Bob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Art2ro Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 (edited) I’ll just express my comments in generalities instead of being too specific about my personal life. IMHO one’s behavior, attitude and state of mind revolves around one’s close relationship to one‘s spouse or girl friend, other family members including relatives and close friends, job satisfaction or not and lastly, it’s always a “matter of money“, stressing the fact that money is always the major factor in one's life most often! The “pursuit of happiness” is truly based on how much money we all have in our pockets, it’s just that plain and simple, because without money, one can not do some of things we want to do in life! With enough money, one can manage the rest in one’s life the way one sees fit without too many obstacles in the way, therefore no stress, no grumpy moods or none of the things described in a mid life crisis situation, because one is too busy planning one's life for the future or the immediate present! One has to do what one has to do to get out of a rut or a sink hole of depression just by sheer determination to live and not die of boredom! I just heard on the news recently, one can die from boredom, but if one is happy and content and have adequate money in their pocket, one can do anything to better one's life! That’s why at this point in our life, we’re finally happy and content being retired in Philippines, where we don't have to work anymore, own our home in a nice quiet and safe neighborhood, have family, relatives, close friends around us and have an adequate source of income to live on. It was a long road getting to where we are today almost 12 years to be exact, but with perseverance and an adequate source of income to live on, we made it happen in our "Pursuit of Happiness", because “life is what we all make it to be“! Edited July 9, 2011 by Art2ro Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roy2cebu Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 Well Tom,did any of this put anything into perspective? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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