Preventing Scams

[Jack Peterson]

I think most guy who lose all their money to a girl think they can buy everything with money .

:541: I think you may have a Point there.

If I can just expand on this, I have a Friend (Well a good Acquaintance) he is on his 4th marriage and it seems each, has gone the same Direction, he tells me that although they are happy enough, Small cracks are begining to show, not sure if they are in the same place again, Anyway, he emailed me last week to say that he will take his little lady away for a few days to get to grips with the problem. Then maybe, he will buy her a new car, apprently, she feels trapped some days in the House.

He has always said, that each of his previous marriages cost a Fortune to Finish. Now here he is, Throwing money at a Fourth to sort out what I would think, are only Minor Hiccups, My Wife tells me that this Little lady is well looked after, I can only agree with your Comment , as this Chap seems to be doing just that.

I know sometimes we could all throw Money at a problem but once bitten now 4th time shy. makes you Wonder.

Jack P. :)

[sonjack2847]

Throwing money at a problem only works in the short term. If somebody "feels trapped in the house all day" then they should be encouraged to find an interest which will keep them busy. Join a club or something along those lines get out of the house go for a walk anything but don`t sit there and get more frustrated.I have seen in the Uk many Thai women ( wives of people I know ) who fall into that trap. But I have seen some who join Thai expat clubs or make themselves busy and get a social life so the problem is eased.

[Jack Peterson]

Throwing money at a problem only works in the short term. If somebody "feels trapped in the house all day" then they should be encouraged to find an interest which will keep them busy. Join a club or something along those lines get out of the house go for a walk anything but don`t sit there and get more frustrated.I have seen in the Uk many Thai women ( wives of people I know ) who fall into that trap. But I have seen some who join Thai expat clubs or make themselves busy and get a social life so the problem is eased.

I agree with you here, I tend to think that it is the husband that is not keen on her mixing, seems that a trip to Robinson's once or twice a week is the Highlight of the week. The car thing I suspect is so she can go to the family. (They live 80 kms away up the Coast) Each to there own but a married Pinay, living in her own country should never be trapped or without a friend or two. (They live on Negros)

Maybe I am reading this wrong but I have an Gut feeling that there is an insecurity thing from the husband. (BIG- BIG age difference there)

But for this Post I daresay, I would not even have given this a thought, it just came to my mind as an example of the post made.

None of my business of course but my wife makes comments on it sometimes.

Talking of my wife, she tells me that some days, she doesn't know how she has time to have a full time job.

I can't see him letting her work, even part time. (That would be an answer of course)

So I guess he will continue to throw money at any situation that arises.

Just my 5 cents worth.

Jack P. :tiphat:

[i am bob]

No matter who you are, where you are, what you do or how rich you are, somebody somewhere is going to try and put their hand in your pocket... The trick is to find somebody who would rather hold your heart!

:tiphat:

[FlyAway]

A few sayings that always stick in my mind.....

Men start life fighting their way out of a womans womb and spend the rest of their lives trying to get back in.

Women sleep with who they want to, Men sleep with whoever will let them.

As for men scamming women....

Days of clubbing the woman and dragging her home by the hair are over. Those men with the clubbing mentality now resort to charm and bullsh&t to get to the woman. That is their "Scam". They enjoy the hunt and kill of getting the girl into bed.

As for women scamming men....

More of a financial gain there. Plain and simple on that.

Over the past 7 yearly visits I have seen both sides of the scam issue. Women scamming the men and men scamming the woman. By far the worse scenereo is the Filipino guys scamming the girls then having the girl scam a foreigner for money. There is a bar girl I know in Angeles that has a filipino boyfriend with whom she has a child with. He is a low life scumbag and she knows it. She loves him no matter what and will do anything for him. When I visit Angeles I will buy her a ladies drink or two in the bar and just chat with her. We joke about who she has supporting her this week or month. She does not sleep with the customers. She is a perpetual Cherry Girl. All sort of a job to her. As she gets older she is thinking of trying the online dating sites.

I've seen and talked to guys that setup meets with girls. Many of them end up in Angeles since they did not get their target. Then these fools start tossing around money still trying to get that elusive cherry girl.

Preventing scams on both sides of the coin? Yeah, good luck with that.

[jode]

The worst scammers are pinoys I believe. Seven girls I know have had babies in the last year and all from pinoys. Only one has taken any kind of responsibility for what he has produced. If you ask a filipina why she prefers foreigners it is because a foreigner is more likely to be responsible in dealing with her. There is a tremendous problem of young single mothers here but you see very few (have seen like two only) single mothers with half white babies. One would think after reading about all the sex-pats who come here that you would see so many more half-white babies but the sex going on with foreigners is only a small part of the out of wedlock sex going on here. Watch who is coming in and out of the short time hotels (lodges). Nine out of ten or more will be pinoys most richer kind with cars who are picking up a girl for some quick fun before going home.

Don't mean to defend guys who come here just for a sex vacation but most girls know the score and that the chances of him becomng a long time partner are slim. Many start to enjoy that life and get to prefer it and can run up quite an impressive score of hostessing sex vacations in a few years. A few days of fun and gifts and partying with a hot blooded foreigner in a nice hotel is a greatly desired break from the slum where she lives. Most know as stated in previous post it is a crap shoot and that especially if its a younger guy he is not interested in any more long term than maybe twice a year sex trips with her. Lonely, set for life old guys more likely to fall permanently for a girl and someday leave a legacy for her are prefered and its nice to be able to do better than young hot guys.

I have had girls passwords on date in asia and therefore was able to pretend i was them and chat with foreigners. Some are real scumbags and come on to girls they think are ignorant peasants with. "Hi I want to come there and have a baby with you". Knowing that it would be the dream of a poor province girl to have a foreigner come there and actually want to marry her and have babies with her. Most guys you chat though come off as gentelman unless you start getting sexy in your talk and then they change into the sex-pat maybe they are in truth. But some are truly serious and will drop you if u are not the good girl they are looking for. Even had a couple just about to send me money and found out how that game can be fun for filipinas. Just could never get by the need to see u on cam first, thing. All in all having three differant girls give me their passwords, so could check out their chat history and e-mails, and maybe have an education on how it goes from their side was quite the experiece. First i did that with I found out in her history that she was setting up meetings with foreigners at 16 to start with, so guys they lie about their ages and often about everything else. Only when they open their lives to you by giving you all their passwords do you know that they realize that your admonishion that honesty is what is important to you has been taken as fact.

Edited May 6, 2012 by jode

[TheMason]

Only when they open their lives to you by giving you all their passwords do you know that they realize that your admonishion that honesty is what is important to you has been taken as fact.

You don't think she has just one account, do you? How do you convince yourself that she gave you the password to ALL her accounts?

[Jack Peterson]

Well it does beg a Question here. If some one suspects a Scam on the Horizon why Continue and contact with the person

Only when they open their lives to you by giving you all their passwords do you know that they realize that your admonish ion that honesty is what is important to you has been taken as fact.

You don't think she has just one account, do you? How do you convince yourself that she gave you the password to ALL her accounts?

:unsure: i can't for the life of me Understand why anyone would want to continue contact with a person where a Scam is suspected let alone delve into unknown territories of a hidden life through questionable false mail accounts on this i can agree .All to easy to have 1 to 100 accounts anyone offering me a Password would ring bells galore Old Cliche's here I think Play with Fire and you will at some time get burned I can understand to a degree a Single man Hunting his Prey but for me any suspected Scam and I would be an Olympic Athlete maybe I am just getting Old or maybe old fashioned but it all sounds like a Global game Who is scamming who?anyone you can Scam I can Scam better

[jode]

You don't think she has just one account, do you? How do you convince yourself that she gave you the password to ALL her accounts?

Of course you can never be sure it is her only account or that she won't start a new one for that matter. However if the e-mail account she gives you password to has e-mails recently and regularily going back for weeks, months and years, with no gaps and includes some letters to and from other foreigners, that show that you are not the first and only man she has been interested in, then maybe it is an account she uses and she has decided to just be open with you.

When her date in asia account she gives you password to, is one you met her on, and includes a chat history for you to read going back many months then maybe you can be reasonably sure she has decided to be open with you about her life. When her facebook account she gives you password to is the one she regularily posts to, and has all her friends and pics on it and a long message history for you to read including many you don't like, then maybe it is one she uses alot, but of course no guarantee the only one. Filipinas and foreigners alike make special accounts sometimes for certain people in order to look good to them.

I don't drop someone because they have flaws. What arrogance would that be? Like I don't have flaws myself? I even kept contact and even helped financially a girl who admitted other affairs to me when I was gone. Hey, she is young, hot and enjoys sex and I would have been no better. Who am I to judge? As long as she was honest, thats the important thing. This was back in my to Philippines for three week vacations years and i knew she would be waiting for me when returned. At least she wasn't some disgusting bargirl willing to do whatever with complete strangers, maybe more than once a day, just for a way to get by without doing real work.

I would tell girls that I don't want or expect the virgin mary, but I do expect honesty. As honesty is a form of respect. If you get it, the price to pay is not to judge. What matters is how they treat you when you are together. People get tired of the both way scams and lies and are often eager to have someone they can be open to, and will still care for them. Why force them to continually lie, so that they can live up to your unrealistic dream girl, of your mind, standard?.

What do they all say in profiles? "I want someone to accept me for who I am" Isn't that what real love is? Rather than expecting someone to live up to a standard that you yourself can't keep? How sexist is that? For those who think they can live up to that high standard don't be to sure till you live with the temptation here for awhile. I try to accept them as they are the good and the bad and forgive their admitted misdeads as they sometimes do mine.

I had a girl once I visited in osamis and had a great time with. She was smart and beautiful. I got back and after telling her all about me and the history of haveing trusted and been heartbroken because of it in past. I said now is the time. You have to give me all your passwords. She hesitated and delayed and argued, and while she was doing that,I saw she was busy on cam. Finally she said ok here they are, and gave them to me. I saw immediately that there were huge gaps in message histories that she had erased. I told her how disappointed I was, and never seriously considered her after that to be the one I would settle on. We are still friends, but as it turned out, she had a pinoy lover who got her pregnant before dumping her and ruining her life. Still care for her but she couldn't be honest and open to me and just glad I found out before becoming more emotionally involved.

No one can ever be 100% sure, but you can increase your chances of finding someone to love who you really know and trust, by insisting they be open and then checking it out. It is arrogance and pure folly for anyone to think they can just tell by appearances. Regular chats with smiles and I love yous is not a basis for trust. Those who think it is enough and are so vain as to think they can judge a person by that, are in for a rude awakening unless they have alot of luck on their side.

Scams come in hundreds of variations. Just because she doesn't ask you for money, doesn't mean you aren't being scammed. Only the very stupid ones come out in chats in the first weeks and ask for financial help. The smart ones never ask for money and know that if they are patient eventually more will come their way by not asking.

A scam could be saying they love you when they really don't, and are just looking for long time financial security, by haveing a nice guy fall in love and marry them. While perhaps their real passion is for someone close at hand that you don't know about. What matters is how they are when you are together and always keeping in mind that there are literally thousands who want you. Finding the one in those thousands that you really know loves you is the trick. Realizing its not easy for them to love an old guy the way you want to be loved.

Unless you are very lucky, trying dozens may be necesary like it was for me, even then there are no guarentees. Looking can be alot of fun, and many guys decide that looking and trying is the permanent way to go, but most of us I believe eventually want something deeper and more lasting.

Edited May 8, 2012 by Jollygoodfellow
-fixed formatting, I think

[earthdome]

I returned a week ago from a 10 day visit to the Philippines to vacation with my gf. We had met last fall and spent 3 days together.

At 25 I now think she is one of those very experienced at working a foreigner. When we first met and during the online distance relationship she never asked for anything, though she did hint for help a number of times. I ignored these and only sent a small amount of cash once prior to my visit for her travel. Plus several inexpensive gifts. During that online relationship she professed her love but never talked much about herself or her family. These things did set off a few warning bells but I decided to go through with spending my vacation with her.

The first three days in Makati went very well. Then we went to Baguio for 6 days. She had a head cold when I arrived and then when we got to Baguio some female issues. To the point where she never left the hotel room for two days. For those two days I ended up going out to explore Baguio on my own and she hardly spoke with me.

I had created an account for her on my laptop so when I got back I was able to review the browser history. Come to find out she has quite a few facebook accounts under different names. None of them her own. One account she has herself listed as a graduate of the Philippine Military Academy, with pictures of the PMA from our tourist visit. It was her idea to visit the PMA, guess she wanted pictures for that facebook account.

At one point when she wasn't feeling well she asked if her cousin could visit us in Baguio and stay with us. I said NO then gave her the option of going home or staying. She decided to stay.

We did do some shopping and I did buy her a few small things and gave her some spending cash. But overall I spent less on my vacation than what I had planned.

Overall I enjoyed my vacation and the time I spent with her (except those two days). Six or seven days into the vacation I realized the relationship wasn't going anywhere.

I haven't heard from her in the 7 days since I left the Philippines. Which doesn't surprise me.

I really liked Baguio. Nice and cool when temperatures in Manila were close to 100F. Met an expat one morning when I walked into the business district to get a coffee and we chatted for a while.

I made one mistake, on the bus trip back to Manila we didn't have time to eat breakfast before we left so we had some BBQ and rice from a roadside bus stop. 12 hours later I was on the toilet. It really cleaned me out!

I have a bunch of pictures from Baguio I may upload. Of course many of them have my now former gf in them. She did like getting her picture taken.

So did I get scammed? Or was this just a relationship that didn't work out?