My Thoughts About Been Back In Australia

[Adventurer]

I have done 5 trips now to the Philippines over 5 years and I have had about 5 somewhat serious girlfriends in that time. My last trip I spent 6 months living with my now fiancee and soon to be my first wife. As a friend once said, everyone needs to get married at least once and I think it's time I take the plunge in the future. I'm lucky to have finally found a girl I believe in 100% and as I have always said here, only settle for 100%, if there is doubt move on, I would have saved a lot of time, energy and money if I had realized that in the previous 4 years. In saying that, it has not been a breeze in the park with my current relationship, we have had a our share of trials and tribulations but in the end we are stronger and closer than ever.

I like a lot of things in the Philippines but there is also a number of things I don't like. Probably the main concern I have about living there is that it is relatively unsafe. In everyday life if you have a safe home etc then it's not too much of a worry but it's those other times when you leave your home is where the chances of danger can happen. I'm quite capable of looking after myself and my girl in most situations but when you are facing a gun or knife suddenly then a lot of the stuff you have learned over the years can go out the window in a split second when some nutter suddenly asks for your money or whatever. I'm thankful I have never been in that situation even if I have probably been exposed to a lot more dangers than the average foreigner since we would usually get jeepney's and explore places off the tourist map. I'm lucky I'm a street wise person, having been brought up in changeable and trying circumstances and having to deal with many dangerous situations in my life.

I have read of many times where foreigners are murdered in the Philippines and often they have put themselves in a dangerous situation but the worrying thing is that there is rarely an arrest or anyone sent to jail for the crime. Another thing that is not good is the amount of firearms that are available for a few hundred pesos by anyone or even worse how little it costs for someone to pay for a hit. That does not worry me so much since I have learned to keep out of trouble there and I don't have much to do with anyone besides my fiancee. But you never know when things could suddenly go wrong, you have a problem with the landlord, the TV guy, the shopkeeper, the restaurant you got sick at or whatever, you can't complain or you put yourself in danger and if you do lose it after taking so much for so long then maybe that will be the time when you should have walked away! To be fair though there is often a lot of times even in Australia that you can never predict how crazy someone can be or who is going to cause you a problem. The difference though is that you have rights, you have authorities that will be on your side and you have 000 phone numbers that will work if ever the need arises.

Other things that I have learned to be weary of and this will be more of a concern in the future if we wanted to settle there is the legal difficulties, the red tape, the way foreigners have no rights and how the police will hardly ever help you if you get in trouble. Another problem as I get older is the medical facilities and the problems with urgent medical care, if your credit card is not working or to be found it could mean life or death. If you wanted to live out by a nice clean remote beach then you will die if you suddenly get injured as there is no helicopter or transport to get you to a hospital. I'm not just thinking of myself but thinking of my finance and my future children....

Of course I was aware of these things before I even left for my early trips there but after you live there for several years you realize how important these things can be in your life. It's OK when you are just traveling there for a short time and to enjoy some fun and adventures as a single guy but when reality kicks in and you have a soon to be wife and probably a family in the future then these things become a lot more important.

In saying that I do like many things about the Philippines and I have had many more happy times there over the last 5 years than I had in Australia. That is mainly because I had someone to share my life with and share moments and good times. I would much rather live in a place where it is not perfect with someone I love than live in a perfect place alone.

That been said, I'm now back in Australia and some things that I have noticed again are:

# When I walk across a pedestrian crossing I realize I don't need to stop for the cars but they much stop for me.

# Everything is much more expensive here. A coffee now averages around $3.50 in the city, a basic meal is $10 minimum and a 6 pack of beer is over $15.

I'm now in Sydney city before I find a place to live for a while but it has become so pretentious, All these trendy looking rich people everywhere wearing fashionable t-shirts that are politically correct, they go back to their safe little poncy apartments that they pay something like $1000 a week for and that is just the norm.

All the shops that were once nearly closed are now trendy, pretentious cafes and 2nd hand shops selling art decor for their fashionable and politically correct apartments.

In a way it is nice, you walk down the street and you feel relatively safe until some bogan low life walks past with an angry look on their face or asks for money but that is not that common now. Most people here are wealthy now and have plenty of money and even the poor get well looked after by the Government.

Would I rather live here or live in Cebu or some other place in the Philippines? A year ago I would have said the Philippines without a doubt but now I would say I would rather live in Australia because it is safer, it is more comfortable and people are getting better here, they seem happier and friendlier. I would not want to become one of these pretentious trendy people though but probably move out to the country and have a home with my fiancee there.

Of course I would only want to live here in Aussie if my fiancee can be here with me and I hope that dream will be possible one day. So for now I'm working my ass off so I can get back to Cebu and be with her until we can BOTH come back to Aussie together....

[Curley]

A very good post, similar thoughts have been going through my mind if you've read my post, second thoughts. I'm off to Colombia very shortly to explore the possibilities there, perhaps marry a Fillipina and take her there?

[Fred & Mimi]

Last haircut I had in Aussie cost me $24 for a short back and sides. I can tell you the barber didn't get a tip. I can keep my hair regularly trimmed in Cebu...don't need to leave my hair for 3 months before a trip to the barber hehehe. Does that sound kuripot haha?

Edited December 31, 2012 by Fred & Mimi

[Dave Hounddriver]

I can see that you have thought about this a great deal and have formulated some sound opinions so I will only comment on two parts that stand out:

the worrying thing is that there is rarely an arrest or anyone sent to jail for the crime.

If you are murdered in the Philippines will it really make any difference if anyone is arrested? You'll still be dead. I was a victim of a home break-in and the only way someone was going to be arrested was if I made a false statement and paid some grease. I decided it would not change my life or his life one bit whether he was arrested or not and I was still not getting my stuff back.

the police will hardly ever help you if you get in trouble

The police will help you but you have to pay them. Anyone I know, myself and close friends included, offer some kind of aid to the police when we need their help. That may be as simple as giving gas money for their vehicle or rice for the station house or it may involve paying actual cash to an officer who will put in some extra time to help you with your situation. It is not a lot of money but its the only way I know to get the police to help you here if you get in trouble.

[Jollygoodfellow]

Last haircut I had in Aussie cost me $24 for a short back and sides. I can tell you the barber didn't get a tip. I can keep my hair regularly trimmed in Cebu...don't need to leave my hair for 3 months before a trip to the barber hehehe. Does that sound kuripot haha?

Yes but the average wage in the Philippines is what, 250 peso a day where in Australia the wage for an average type job is say $250 a day so I can see why a haircut in Australia is going to cost a bit more. All depends on where your income is coming from as the Filipino will be thinking how expensive it is for him to get a haircut.

[Old55]

I love the Philippines and the Filipino people.

We have reached a position that if we chose to we could move to Philippines full time. for many years that was our plan. Having children is a deal breaker. I would not raise my children in Philippines.

If were just the wife and I having a home in Cebu or Leyte then spending a month or so in the States each year would be sweet.

[Bundy]

Hey Adventurer,i really enjoyed reading your post and i do agree almost with everything you are saying.I too am back in Oz at the moment but will leave for good very soon.

It could be because i'm in the country but i'm not finding that people are happier or more friendly, infact quite the opposite, everyone i see seems to be angry with their lot.

The young people here are just out of control IMO. Just today a young learner driver failed his first driving test so what did he do?.........he bashed the crap out of his instructor!

Like you, i know how to stay out of trouble and in Cebu we keep very much to ourselves.You are about 27 trips behind me but you are way ahead of a lot of foolish people i've seen over the years.

Yes i too noticed how expensive things are becomming here, you really do need deep pockets to live in this country and whilst wages are high, unless you are a white collar worker it is difficult to the point of impossible for a couple to survive on one wage, let alone trying to support a family.

Whilst there is money in Australia, people here are very hesitant to spend it that's for sure.I can't speak of Sydney or any other city but here in the bush things are looking very bleak indeed.

As far as walking across the road goes, i almost got hit in KMart Bundaberg carpark by a youngster who didn't want to stop for me at a pedestrian crossing.A basic meal here for the two of us costs us $20.00, a coffee in the mall is $4.00 and i had a haircut last week in Bundy $20.00.

I just can't wait to get out of here again but i respect your thoughts and i wish you every happiness in the world for your future.

[Adventurer]

You guys that are spending all of your money on haircuts, here is a tip...Get a good razor and never look back ;)

Ok, if that it too short for you then consider investing the cost of about 2 x aussie haircuts in a set of wahol clippers.

When I was a young lout with long hair in Cebu two years ago I was getting my haircuts for 30 pesos out in the province and the much higher cost of 50 in the city. I thought I would go broke so I started using a razor and I never looked back, Seriously, the razor works well in the tropics, no more stinking, hot dirty hair....

If you are murdered in the Philippines will it really make any difference if anyone is arrested? You'll still be dead.

Good point Dave but I was more thinking of the deterrent to put people off bonking us off. If they know they will get away with it 90% of the time then it's low risk and an easy way to make 500 pesos for some guys.

The police will help you but you have to pay them

yeah you are very right there and it's that simple,money means everything in the RP. You have to always remember to take at least 2000 pesos with you wherever you go, hide it in the back of the wallet for those emergency situations....

I just can't wait to get out of here again but i respect your thoughts and i wish you every happiness in the world for your future.

Hey Bundy and Old etc, I also felt like that the last few times, I don't know why I have changed as I actually enjoyed myself this last trip especially that I was with a wonderful girl. I guess I had time to gather my thoughts and look at the bigger picture and maybe I will change again and it's just a stage I'm going through at the moment but I started getting a bit bored with the same old thing in the Philippines, not annoyed, not mad but just bored like I had been there too long and I wanted to move forward or something.....

Maybe spending more time back in OZ again will change my mind, who knows? All I know is that I used to be so excited to get back to the RP and even when I got back to OZ I was looking forward to get back.

This time feels different though, although I really look forward to go back again especially to be with my lovely fiancee,I'm looking at the longer term picture and I just feel that the Philippines will not be my home but it will always be here. I'm excited to bring my girl back here and try it at least. But maybe it's not that great when you live out in a country place and you have to deal with everyday life like the things that happen to you Bundy? one thing that does piss me off in Aussie is sloppy annoying bogans but I also get just as annoyed at pretentious wankers in the city lol.... mayne NZ is a better place to live? but then again some things annoy me there too and I won't go into all the details....

Another thing that I did not mention that put me off the Philippines of late is that I never felt the local people were genuinely interested in me as a person and that was the saddest part and the most disappointing. That been said I did meet some very nice people and some of the older folk were very good.

But I made what I thought were several friends there, female and male. There were three people that I thought were friends and we spent many times together. In the end though each one of them asked me for money and even though I made it clear to them I that I was struggling myself before they even asked. Even my fiancee said to me to never give anyone money there as they will always want more and that is a mistake I leaned. At least in Australia people are not so direct, they might still want something from you but they won't be as shameless as asking friends for money.

After that I never wanted to get close to locals anymore and although I do find the people there very friendly and nice people I could not ever get close as friends again as I was always going to expect them to ask for a handout. I know the more wealthier locals would not be like this and I realize it's quite a normal thing for people to ask each other for money there but it left me feeling disapointed. My fiancee explained to not take it personally as it's just normal there to depend on friends and relatives. I told her that I would never ask anyone for anything even if I was half dead dying of hunger as that is the way I was brought up and I just can't relate to people that rely on others to pay their expenses unless they are sick, children or extremely desperate from some sudden tragedy.

I will be here in Aussie for at least several months before I can go back, we will see if I change my mind after that time..... thanks for the replies everyone... HAPPY 2013!!

Edited December 31, 2012 by Adventurer

[bows00]

This topic should be examined by all expats that have a distorted disneyland view of the philippines. Yes, the filipinas are wonderful, but an evaluation of the degraded social issues are worth bringing to light here. Bottom line for me, is the impact on my overall quality of life. And it is a very difficult decision to make - balancing between the beautiful girls, low costs, crime, infrastructure, poverty, etc..

And there is another issue of bringing a filipina back to your home country that needs to be addressed here. All the qualities that distinguishes a filipina from an American (or Aussie in your case) will be in jeopardy. There are countless examples where Filipinas are brought back US only to become Americanized... so for me personally, I am to live the rest of my life with a filipina, I would have to resort to finding a place in the Philippines to make my home.

[i am bob]

A lot of the ex-military guys will know this...

I am a firm believer that, no matter where you live, it is what you make of it that determines if you will enjoy being there or not. Get involved in different groups that interest you. Go out sight seeing. Go on day trips. Meet people. Experience different cultures. And while you are out doing these things, let those around you know that you appreciate what they offer and are enjoying your time with them. Not everywhere you go and everything you see will be as exciting as the last but put things into perspective and just enjoy them for what they are. Somebody will pop in and say I haven't got a clue what I'm talking about yet I have done this in over 30 countries so far - places where the majority of others sent along with me would curse and swear about how bad it is - and I have had a great time in each and every one!

One point for those of you who aren't happy because you feel you aren't liked where you are? If the above doesn't do anything for you, maybe you should change neighbourhoods? What would you do at home if you felt the same way?

Sure - no place is perfect, but if it was, it would have been so over-run and over-populated long before we knew about it. And then it wouldn't be perfect any more, would it? I guess it's easiest to say that we have to learn to accept a place for the way it is.