Help Getting Married Please

[Hopeless]

Ok here gos nothing . I have been dating a pina for 5 years and have been supporting her 

 

And I guess her family to a point . Mama has tried every scam under the sun to get money out of me .

 

My lady has been strong and refuses most requests eg: build a house , buy a car motorcycle etc etc

 

This trip we are suppose to get married but now Mama has said she will not sign the papers 

 

Unless I give her 50,000 piso 

 

My lady is 24 and she is devastated by her Mama wanting to sell her like a cow , her words

 

I know at 25 she does not need mama to sign but I want to get her out of the Phils and away from her 

 

stupid family . 

 

So what other avenues can I take ? can we elope to hong kong ? should I pay the extortion ?

 

I feel so betrayed after all the help i have given .

 

Or is this a common thing ?   And i,m out of touch with the culture ?

 

 

 

 

[MikeB]

Have you physically met this person whom you're planning to marry? 

[Old55]

Respectfully, don't marry that lady. Most likely breaking up now would be best for not only you but for her as well.

Look at it this way. Would you knowingly marry someone with a drinking or gambling problem? If you marry that Filipina you both will never know peace.

Mike makes a good point.

Edited November 30, 2013 by Old55

[Classic Dry]

Oh man !

 

Go make a cup of coffee, put your glasses on, and make yourself comfortable.

 

Stay with this forum and read til your eyes are sore.

 

You have lots and lots of reading to do my friend.

[Jake]

Ok here gos nothing . I have been dating a pina for 5 years and have been supporting her 

 

And I guess her family to a point . Mama has tried every scam under the sun to get money out of me .

 

My lady has been strong and refuses most requests eg: build a house , buy a car motorcycle etc etc

 

This trip we are suppose to get married but now Mama has said she will not sign the papers 

 

Unless I give her 50,000 piso 

 

My lady is 24 and she is devastated by her Mama wanting to sell her like a cow , her words

 

I know at 25 she does not need mama to sign but I want to get her out of the Phils and away from her 

 

stupid family . 

 

So what other avenues can I take ? can we elope to hong kong ? should I pay the extortion ?

 

I feel so betrayed after all the help i have given .

 

Or is this a common thing ?   And i,m out of touch with the culture ?

Hello Hopeless,

 

Unfortunately, your name is appropriate in this case and we sympathies what you're going through.  Indeed, you

are definitely lost in space (your location).  

 

Let us assume that all is well after you pay off the mother.  The question remains, will this be the last of it?  I have

no idea about adult females wanting to set themselves free from the claws of her own family.  You need to proceed

with extreme caution.

 

You need to step back and look at the bigger picture.  Please do not fall victim of emotional pleas with the Filipino

drama, so prevalent in many levels of Filipino society.  They know you have a soft heart and will take every chance

to squeeze you dry.  I certainly hope that your GF is NOT part of the conspiracy.  Believe me, your situation is not

unique -- it happens to the best of us.

 

Best of luck to you sir -- Jake

[Mike S]

You have gotten the very best advise form all of the above posters ..... I will just add .... what ever you decide DO NOT give her mother anything .... if you insist on still marring this girl wait until she is 25 .... then move her OUT from her family as far as you can .... JMHO .....

 

Some people can live closer to family that others .... we live about 60k from her mom and have never had any problems or anyone ask for money in over 6 years ..... :thumbsup:

:cheersty:

[Hopeless]

Yes we have spent almost 3 years together in the Phils and I trust her completely 

 

Its her mama who is the gold digger and thinks I,m super rich

 

In fact i am thinking of giving her the money to prove a point to my lady .  

 

I will be back at x-mas and am considering paying the 50k and telling her good bye  you will never get another peso from me for anything lol

 

My lady says we can wait until next year because she hates the idea of me paying for her  I have no doubt about her character  

 

She has proved to me beyond a doubt that she is not with me for the money and has picked me before her family at every turn 

 

She tells me the plans her mama and lola make for her to scam me  . They call her useless because she refuses to scam me for money

 

Still my question stands is there anything I can do to get married without mama signing

[MikeB]

Still my question stands is there anything I can do to get married without mama signing

"Individuals between the age of 21 and 25, must "... ask their parents or guardian for advice upon the intended marriage. If they do not obtain such advice, or if it be unfavorable, the marriage license shall not be issued till after three months following the completion of the publication of the application therefor. A sworn statement by the contracting parties to the effect that such advice has been sought, together with the written advice given, if any, shall be attached to the application for marriage license. Should the parents or guardian refuse to give any advice, this fact shall be stated in the sworn statement."

Source: Title I, Chapter 1, Article 15 Family Code of the Philippines".

http://marriage.about.com/od/philippines/a/philippines.htm

[Hopeless]

Thank you Mike but 3 months is cutting it close  can she apply with out me being there  .

 

Worse case I pay half   funny thing is I already had a plan to give the family 40,000 pisos 

 

to help out and a way of saying thank you for letting me marry their girl but the whole extortion aspect has left a really bad taste in my

 

mouth and just want to wash my hands of them now . And I think after her mama trying to sell her my lady has had enough as well

[Mike J]

When you marry a Filipina, you also marry the family.  The 50,000 peso bribe, like most blackmail, could very well be a down payment to mama.  Just my opinion of course.  Best of luck whatever you decide.