Face, What Is It?

[Methersgate]

So, some more points on "face":

Never sing "My Way"! (Thanks for the warning, Jake!)

Never say "no!".  Say something like, "Well, I will have to check with my wife, maybe we don't have money for that right now, ask me later, may be, we'll have to think about that..."

 

(Interesting point, the Chinese languages do not appear to contain the word "no" - you can say "not good" or "not correct" or "we don't have that", but not "No!")

 

Never decline a gift, no matter how small, and always show appreciation for a kindness.

Never, ever, raise your voice in public.

Never turn your back on someone and walk off in mid-argument.

 

Don't touch another man's car (this got George Anikow killed!)

 

Don'r stare ("don't give a hard look")
 

....(need more here)

Edited August 9, 2014 by Methersgate

[Americano]

So, some more points on "face":

Never sing "My Way"! (Thanks for the warning, Jake!)

Never say "no!".  Say something like, "Well, I will have to check with my wife, maybe we don't have money for that right now, ask me later, may be, we'll have to think about that..."

 

(Interesting point, the Chinese languages do not appear to contain the word "no" - you can say "not good" or "not correct" or "we don't have that", but not "No!")

 

Never decline a gift, no matter how small, and always show appreciation for a kindness.

Never, ever, raise your voice in public.

Never turn your back on someone and walk off in mid-argument.

 

Don't touch another man's car (this got George Anikow killed!)

 

Don'r stare ("don't give a hard look")

 

....(need more here)

 

"Don't touch another man's car"  This one doesn't apply in the Philippines. No one respects personal property.  Beggers don't mind putting their greasy hands all over your windows trying to see inside your tinted windows. People have no problem sitting on your motorcycle, adjusting your mirrors to see themselves and moving your motorcycle wherever they want it to be, picking up your cell phone to look at your pictures and check your messages. You may think you own personal property in the Philippines but if you don't guard it at all times others will think its theirs too.

[Medic Mike]

 

So, some more points on "face":

Never sing "My Way"! (Thanks for the warning, Jake!)

Never say "no!".  Say something like, "Well, I will have to check with my wife, maybe we don't have money for that right now, ask me later, may be, we'll have to think about that..."

 

(Interesting point, the Chinese languages do not appear to contain the word "no" - you can say "not good" or "not correct" or "we don't have that", but not "No!")

 

Never decline a gift, no matter how small, and always show appreciation for a kindness.

Never, ever, raise your voice in public.

Never turn your back on someone and walk off in mid-argument.

 

Don't touch another man's car (this got George Anikow killed!)

 

Don'r stare ("don't give a hard look")

 

....(need more here)

 

"Don't touch another man's car"  This one doesn't apply in the Philippines. No one respects personal property.  Beggers don't mind putting their greasy hands all over your windows trying to see inside your tinted windows. People have no problem sitting on your motorcycle, adjusting your mirrors to see themselves and moving your motorcycle wherever they want it to be, picking up your cell phone to look at your pictures and check your messages. You may think you own personal property in the Philippines but if you don't guard it at all times others will think its theirs too.

That happened to a friend of Tom's and mine. He had bought a new motorcycle. Parked it outside the bank for 5 minutes, came out and found it lying on the ground all busted up. We think someone was sitting on it adjusting mirrors etc, and made it fall over.

[Malcolm Graham]

Never had my cell pone picked up ever. And they are all curious about certain messages I receive but they wait till I tell them what the messages are about.

[Methersgate]

Likewise. But we have wandered gently away from "face" and towards "personal space", perhaps.

 

I suddenly thought of the English law of defamation; the usual definition of whether a statement or act is defamatory is

"a statement will be defamatory if “it tends to lower a person in the estimation of right thinking [people],…causes a [person] to be shunned or avoided or exposes [the person] to hatred, contempt or ridicule….or is disparaging or [harmful] to his office, profession, calling, trade or business."

 

Now, it seems to me that we do have a sort of a concept of "face", in the West, but it is a  much, much weaker one.

 

It is not totally different though; if we expose an Easterner to ridicule or to contempt, something which is much, much easier to do in the East than it is in the West, we cause him or her to lose "face", but the Asian concept goes much further and includes the notions of exposing someone to shame and embarrassment. 

Edited August 9, 2014 by Methersgate

[Americano]

In my opinion a person loosing face just means "someone with very low intelligence and very immature got upset because they didn't know how to reply in an intelligent way so they turned to violence."  This is the best definition for loosing face.  And, this is why loosing face only exists in some countries.  Most Americans in the West are intelligent enough not to act like these childish people.

Edited August 9, 2014 by Americano

[northtoalaska]

"Most Americans in the West are intelligent enough not to act like these childish people."

 

You've not been in some of the neighborhoods that I've seen/worked in. Losing "face" in certain parts of just about any large city, USA can get you dead or hurt.

 

"...these childish people."

Damn, bouncing off the racist trampoline there....

[i am bob]

"Most Americans in the West are intelligent enough not to act like these childish people."

 

You've not been in some of the neighborhoods that I've seen/worked in. Losing "face" in certain parts of just about any large city, USA can get you dead or hurt.

 

"...these childish people."

Damn, bouncing off the racist trampoline there....

Made me think... How many of us have never gotten so pissed off at someone that we wanted to just punch them in the face? Did somebody say face? :)

[Hey Steve]

My wife read this thread and advised me to take all your advice here seriously. She tells me never to discuss (or debate) politics or religion, nor to bring up any negative social aspects of the Philippines. The machismo or immature attitudes can manifest itself with just one cross look or cross word-especially when "tagay" or tuba is flowing freely. In other words, I guess, avoid the flash points.

I think I will just take the "bobble head" approach and agree with it all.

[Old55]

Steve, i just say that I'm a visitor and don't have an informed opinion. Works every time.