Ok So I Am Still Young-What Do I Do Now?

[El Negrito]

At 44 (just had a birthday) I thought I was done or at least severely restricted to a very limited possibility of a relationship with a 30 or 40 year old divorcee or widow in the future, MAYBE. Then a 23 year old girl expressed interest and so did I. Now, even though she was a total idiot in the end it did open me to relationships, still thinking in the 30-40 age range.

 

Then I had a Filipina friend who was 22 and had a boyfriend who was 44 some years ago. I wondered if this was common and found it was. I researched and found not only was it common but these girls were mature, loving, devoted and the whole 9 yards.

 

Since all this I have had many thoughts. Should I just stay on track and wait for that 30-40 year old like my family and most friends seem to think? Everyone nearly flipped when I even mentioned the 23 year old Mexican girl.

 

I am 44 and set in my ways, somewhat, and would a woman my age be the same? Could it cause more conflict? Should I be more directed at younger girls? Personally I am not looking to make rules but I seem to get WAY more response from younger girls than older ones, especially Filipinas. (Albeit this is only online and I have kept it strictly friendships but I know I could go further)

 

Or should I still just remain single for a while in light of the fact that my wife only passed away 2  and a half years ago.

 

Help please.  :e3358:

[Jumper0155]

My advice is to just completely forget about the age aspect and focus on compatibility and how your future significant other makes you feel.  As they say, "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away" :thumbsup:

[Gerald Glatt]

Wait till you're 60 for your thirty year old,  you can hold try outs till then.

[Methersgate]

Agree with that.

 

I spent my Thirties as Corporation Man and thereby wrecked my first marriage; my forties trying to catch up and my fifties turning into an old fogey.

 

But I was so much older then; I'm younger than that now!

 

Basically, I have only a few years left so I have nothing left to lose!

[El Negrito]

My advice is to just completely forget about the age aspect and focus on compatibility and how your future significant other makes you feel.

 

Well this is kind of my point. My last relationship ended badly. I was 43 and she 23, I had baggage and she never had a boyfriend. I was concerned about that and we talked, she swore up and down for months that she could handle it. She bailed and I am left very broken hearted and angry. She wants to maintain some kind of good relationship and I want her to go to hell.

 

I know I am being a bit harsh but life has been hard and long even at just 44. Trust me you don't want to know all the gory details.

 

Now I worry that a younger Filipina couldn't handle my baggage and will do the same. Of course I know an older one could too. So again I am at the question "What Do I Do Now?" Only answer I can think of is to keep seeking till I find the person who can really deal. I thought I found that in my late wife but after we were married she often threw the fact of my previous divorce in my face when we had problems.

[Methersgate]

A very good friend parted from his Filipina girlfriend of seven years on pretty much the same grounds, she also wanted to be friends after the split, he still carries a candle for her and could not handle it. She was 27 when they parted, he was 59. I suspect that in amongst the baggage was a thought that he had been cradle snatching; he also seemed to have a bit of a Pygmalion complex. She was and is very ambitious in her chosen career which is working on superyachts. 

[El Negrito]

A very good friend parted from his Filipina girlfriend of seven years on pretty much the same grounds, she also wanted to be friends after the split, he still carries a candle for her and could not handle it. She was 27 when they parted, he was 59. I suspect that in amongst the baggage was a thought that he had been cradle snatching; he also seemed to have a bit of a Pygmalion complex. She was and is very ambitious in her chosen career which is working on superyachts. 

 

 

Yeah we endured our share of cradle snatching comments. It bothered me a lot, her response was "I KNOW WHAT I WANT AND I WANT YOU!" Yeah where the hell is that conviction now lady? I want to avoid that again at all costs...OK well most costs. hehe

[stevewool]

Old , young , what ever there age there looks too, its what you both have in common, that takes time to come out , just enjoy taking you time and chatting to who ever takes your fancy,

You will soon find the right one for you, just do not promise what you cannot give

[Hey Steve]

Well, El Negrito, if you find someone who also has (acceptable) baggage, this might be a key point as far as compatibility goes. Usually when you combine that with a mature minded, honest, sweet gal...you have the best chance of happiness. Don't find a new one you can live with, rather one you can't live without. As long as you put yourself out there, I'm sure your wisdom and knowledge you demonstate will carry you through-finally---to success.

Edited August 29, 2014 by Hey Steve

[El Negrito]

Thanks for the comments guys. I really appreciate your insights.