The Countdown Rut

[bows00]

My current countdown is at 2 years and 4 months until my retirement kicks in and I set my sails for the Philippines.  And it is a good thing to have something to look forward to, like the days before an ultimate vacation.  I have heard that it is a good idea to plan a vacation at least a year in advance – the anticipation is just as exciting as the actual vacation itself. 

 

But I find myself looking too much into the future to the point I am not living in the moment.  Being single, my social life is pretty dead - I really have no interest dating US women anymore.  I find myself thinking what’s the point in establishing a relationship now, when the American girl will not fit into my near future plans in the Philippines.  So basically, my life is currently on hold – hum drum life which consists of work, exercise and an occasional beer with close relatives.  Pretty boring huh?   And I have a concern because I realize that living in the Philippines may not be the answer to my prayers.  I have heard many expats advise that you have to be happy and fulfilled in your own country first… 

 

I would appreciate any advice from any expats that have gone through this chronical lackluster pre-retirement stage…

[Larry45]

 

  I have heard many expats advise that you have to be happy and fulfilled in your own country first… 

 

 

Well, one cannot be TOO happy and fulfilled in their own country, or they would never want to leave. :)  I think the point of that advice is to convey that one cannot be totally disfunctional in their own country and expect to find a "geographic cure" somewhere else.  You can't ever run away from yourself, so the guys that have lots of problems in the Phils....they typically had the same problems in their own country.  :bonk: 

[mogo51]

My current countdown is at 2 years and 4 months until my retirement kicks in and I set my sails for the Philippines.  And it is a good thing to have something to look forward to, like the days before an ultimate vacation.  I have heard that it is a good idea to plan a vacation at least a year in advance – the anticipation is just as exciting as the actual vacation itself. 

 

But I find myself looking too much into the future to the point I am not living in the moment.  Being single, my social life is pretty dead - I really have no interest dating US women anymore.  I find myself thinking what’s the point in establishing a relationship now, when the American girl will not fit into my near future plans in the Philippines.  So basically, my life is currently on hold – hum drum life which consists of work, exercise and an occasional beer with close relatives.  Pretty boring huh?   And I have a concern because I realize that living in the Philippines may not be the answer to my prayers.  I have heard many expats advise that you have to be happy and fulfilled in your own country first… 

 

I would appreciate any advice from any expats that have gone through this chronical lackluster pre-retirement stage…

I went through pretty much the same thing in Australia until finally settling in Thailand with my Filipino gf,

10 months ago. I know what you mean regarding western women, I tried to do the same thing in Oz, but finally

just gave up and waited for my turn to come. You tend to get very frustrated with your life. But best advice

I can give is to keep busy (you have your work) and read as much as you can about Phils. Will you go over to

Phils during your 2 year wait. If you can, I would definately recommend you do so.

Try and develop some contacts there and sort out where you want to start, but be prepared to move around until

you find a place that 'fits'

It is still a fair way off so dont waste your life. You find when you get to retirement age, it all seems to

go too quickly. Good luck.

[chris49]

My current countdown is at 2 years and 4 months until my retirement kicks in and I set my sails for the Philippines.  And it is a good thing to have something to look forward to, like the days before an ultimate vacation.  I have heard that it is a good idea to plan a vacation at least a year in advance – the anticipation is just as exciting as the actual vacation itself. 

 

But I find myself looking too much into the future to the point I am not living in the moment.  Being single, my social life is pretty dead - I really have no interest dating US women anymore.  I find myself thinking what’s the point in establishing a relationship now, when the American girl will not fit into my near future plans in the Philippines.  So basically, my life is currently on hold – hum drum life which consists of work, exercise and an occasional beer with close relatives.  Pretty boring huh?   And I have a concern because I realize that living in the Philippines may not be the answer to my prayers.  I have heard many expats advise that you have to be happy and fulfilled in your own country first… 

 

I would appreciate any advice from any expats that have gone through this chronical lackluster pre-retirement stage…

 

Kind of surprised you can't come up with money for perhaps 2 visits during the next 2 years. 2 years 4 months is one hell of a stretch, no vacation time meanwhile.

 

I'm 65 will be 66. I am in decent shape but in the mirror I show my age. I could get off the plane in the AM. Meet someone in the afternoon, be in a relationship by evening. And if it doesn't work I will repeat the same thing next day.

 

And no, I don't do it now, my wife would kill me.

 

Delayed gratification can be an absolute bitch, so if I am where you are now, I would do something, some action.

 

If it's the cost, then I would say you already have a problem. You can't come here on low minimum and expect to do all these things, and that's in 2 years time.

 

Work it out, get yourself over here for a 2 week vacation.

[jon1]

I would definitely visit as often as financially possible between now and then. You can only get so much via the internet and on the ground is the best way to get some better perceptions of what does and does not work for you. Many people come over here with the "rose colored glasses" and it takes a little bit before they see the reality. Some 6 months some several years. Reading up on things here, watching vlogs on youtube are great starts but being here will definitely open up your eyes to what you can adjust to and not.

 

One of my friends will be moving over here this year. Last year he rented a small apartment for mainly storing his stuff that he brings over each visit. He has friends watching and maintaining the place. He visits 3 times per year and already has a much better idea on what he wants and where he wants to live. 

[Dave Hounddriver]

But I find myself looking too much into the future to the point I am not living in the moment

 

Plan for tomorrow but live for today.  Live each day as if it were your last, one day it will be. We grow too soon old and too late smart.  If you are not happy today, what will change to make you happy tomorrow?  Why not do that today?

 

Platitudes, I got a million of them.  :hystery:  But my experience was to quit my job 2 years and 6 months before retirement, take the money and run to Philippines.  It means I do not have as much money as some people here but I still enjoy life. Here's something else to consider.  I have heard people say they wished they had come to the Philippines while they were a bit younger but I don't ever recall anyone saying they wished they had waited a while and come to the Philippines when they were older.  Its not for everyone but if its for you then you need to be here as soon as practical.

[Mike J]

I have heard many expats advise that you have to be happy and fulfilled in your own country first…

I think a more accurate statement might be to say that if your are unhappy where your are, you may well be unhappy, maybe even worse, if you move to the Philippines.  I think that people who move to the Philippines to "get away" from issues or personal problems, often find they bring those same issues with them when they arrive here.  I am not suggesting that this is your case, just something to ponder over.  Like the other posters, I would suggest you make a couple of lengthy visits if you have not already done so.  

[Crocodile]

....  And I have a concern because I realize that living in the Philippines may not be the answer to my prayers.  I have heard many expats advise that you have to be happy and fulfilled in your own country first… 

 

I would appreciate any advice from any expats that have gone through this chronical lackluster pre-retirement stage…

 

I am somewhat younger than you, but I will be moving to the Philippines shortly.  I have traveled to quite a few difference places within the Philippines and still am undecided what area I enjoy the best and what would suit me the best.

 

What is your motivation for moving to the Philippines?  What is your favourite part of the Philippines? 

 

Over 2 years is a long time before you move.  What do you intend to do when in the Philippines?  You can start learning Tagalog, for one. 

[WordsandMusic]

Two years does seem a long time and I was where you're at. But as I pack my bags to leave in a month for the Philippines, I find myself double checking everything to make sure all my loose ends are tied up. I didn't want to have any debt or lingering bills back home so I have stayed quite busy going over every inch of my history here at home. There is really a lot to do when you think about it. I mean banking issues need to be addressed, retirement issues need to be double checked. All the what If's need attention. I have used this forum and the great teachers on it, for most of my what if questions. I have older parents and a bunch of siblings and five children I have had to give attention to them. I exclaimed that we all have one life to live, we can't live it for others. Our journey is our own and if we have regrets, they are ours to regret. Still I find myself torn from time to time. My wife is from Cebu and I have a 4 year old. For me this is possibly my last great adventure and I have had plenty. But you can never read, plan and formulate ideas about the future enough. Like many have stated, the one thing that never changes, no matter where you go or who you are with is YOU!!! If you know yourself, then you know your strengths and weaknesses. You know what you would like to change about you and what you want to keep. I think it's changing your environment that can make it easier to make changes to ourselves. That is the secret most people miss. If you want to quit smoking stay away from smokers. If you want to loose weight stop eating out with friends every night. I find that the slow pace of the Philippines drops my heart rate down a least a third. I feel the stress of living at home fall from me like meat from a bone. I see the world differently because I was programmed to compete with those in the environment I was raised in. In the Philippines I have no need to compete. So double check everything, cross your T's and dot your I's and your time will fly by. If at all possible split your time you have left at home with a vacation in the Philippines. When you are in the Philippines, ask other Expates what you should bring with you, and do some research on your own while there. The next half of your time left will be spent procuring electronics and deodorant and depending on your size thrift store clothing to ship over.  Good Luck and God Bless!   

[Thomas]

hum drum life which consists of work, exercise and an occasional beer with close relatives. Pretty boring huh? And I have a concern because I realize that living in the Philippines may not be the answer to my prayers. I have heard many expats advise that you have to be happy and fulfilled in your own country first…

You need to do some hobbies.  If you don't have any, you can get one of mine  :dance:    because I don't have time to do all hobbies I want to do.   (E g I don't have enough time to play guitar and keyboard.)