Filipina Girlfriend?

[not so old china hand]

3 minutes ago, Jack Peterson said:

So tell me, why does "Angeles" always seem come up when it comes to Fun times, is it a left over from years gone bye?

Now I have never been to Angeles but judging by websites for the area things have not changed much (except perhaps the people you met). As a friend of mine who works in Manila says "The nice thing about Angeles is everyone knows why you are going there. You don't have to pretend you are going there for the culture or the beaches."

[robert k]

1 minute ago, Jack Peterson said:

You Know Robert, from a conversation that HTMBO had with a guy here not long ago about his escapades of recent times I am Forbidden to go there but For me, I take on Board you Post. So tell me, why does "Angeles" always seem come up when it comes to Fun times, is it a left over from years gone bye? When I was Stationed in HK that was our R&R Destination. Problem is that some places never seem to loose the Bad reports and actionable scenarios.

Mention "Angeles' in Dumaguete and it is OH Yeah! we know  with Big Frowns and Lip pursing from our Ladies.

Jack, I think it's because there have been lots of foreigners living there and possibly the standards of conduct are lower when you can at least point out examples of people you are still "supposedly" morally superior to.

[Jack Peterson]

2 minutes ago, not so old china hand said:

Now I have never been to Angeles but judging by websites for the area things have not changed much (except perhaps the people you met).

 

1 minute ago, robert k said:

Jack, I think it's because there have been lots of foreigners living there and possibly the standards of conduct are lower when you can at least point out examples of people you are still "supposedly" morally superior to.

 Asked and Answered methinks, So maybe worth giving it a miss unless............................

[davewe]

19 hours ago, Domino22 said:

Some say "helping with family needs etc" but I have never seen a dollar amount mentioned and I understand these numbers would vary. When you tell people no that can create a issue and it would be something I would like to avoid. But as I said in the post I do not want to support a whole "klan".

You're going to get all kinds of answers/solutions and a certain amount of "I never pay anything" statements. I know over 100 Fil-Am couples in my town (most married but not all). When you get to talking to the guys, all those people "help" at some level. The guy pays something, he refuses to pay but the girl pays out of her paycheck, the girl manages the household allowance and gives mom a few pesos out of that, they only pay for emergencies, they only pay for education - the list goes on. The Philippines is family-oriented and ultimately that comes down to help. This does not all have to be bad. In fact it can be pretty amazing. I have had a few small instances where I helped the family and the results felt great.

One tiny example. A few years ago I was a newlywed, Xmas was coming and my wife and I considered sending her family $100 for Xmas. I posted the scenario here and got hammered a bit - nothing I couldn't take  But we did it and have continued to do so each Xmas. I figured either my MIL used the money for Xmas gifts for the kids or to pay needed bills. I didn't care and ultimately I thought it was a pretty cheap way to make my wife happy at Xmas.

This spring we were in the Philippines with her family. Naturally there was food and the whole neighborhood was there for food and games. Several neighbors came up to Janet and me to thank us? Why I asked Janet - I didn't get it. Turns out that with the $100 I was sending for Xmas my MIL was giving a Xmas party for the neighborhood. She told everyone that the food came from Dave and Janet. And now those neighbors were thanking us.

Draw your own conclusion but consider that not everyone in the Philippines is out to get you - and if you're lucky you might find a girl who's family is worth your care and effort - and even a few pesos.

Everyone is obsessed by the reality that the girl will want you to meet her family. I would look at it in the opposite way. You will get to find out what they are like, good or bad, and discover how she was raised; and then make your own conclusions.

Edited August 11, 2016 by davewe

[Domino22]

Folks I am not a "SEXPAT". I am coming for the cost of living-scuba diving-I always wanted to retire on an island-I love the ocean and all that comes with that-these islands are fantastic they have height and jungles not like the Bahamas and some other areas. I am not dead yet and I think the Filipinas are cute fun and I like small women. I am going to need a hobby but not a full time one. It is the baggage that I worry about and what can come with it. I want to relax and avoid ALL confrontations that I can avoid. But with that said you hook up with a local and the whole can of worms can open up. One side note here is that if I need to move to a safer location and avoid an issue I can, or will be able too. Dang I sound like I am going in with a negative attitude but I do not see it that way. Just knowing what you are looking at before hand can help you deal with these things in advance. Just a thought.

 

[scott h]

59 minutes ago, Domino22 said:

. Dang I sound like I am going in with a negative attitude but I do not see it that way

I don't read it as negative, just questions. I don't see you as an "sexpat" either, maybe some indelicately phrased questions .

Here is the bottom line though. Regardless of a guys motivation, intentions or monetary status, if he gets involved with a nice girl, he gets involved with her family, warts and all. Moving islands? Maybe 20 years ago. Every Filipino today has access to social media. You could be in Pagudpud and her family in Davao, she will still be in contact with them. If her family is unhappy, she will be unhappy, and no one wants to live with an unhappy lady.

IMHO, the only way to avoid family problems is to get involved with an orphan.

[Tukaram (Tim)]

48 minutes ago, scott h said:

IMHO, the only way to avoid family problems is to get involved with an orphan.

Worked for me... until later I found out her father was still alive. Turns out he left the family years ago, for his other wife.  Still did not cost me much. He died recently and the hospital/funeral cost me p3,500. There were 5 or 6 siblings chipping in equally.  Three years ago we bought him a p500 cellphone.  So when I say I give no money, I mean very little money. Occasional gifts (on actual holidays) hardly count for me as I like giving gifts. 

[Gator]

3 hours ago, Domino22 said:

It is the baggage that I worry about and what can come with it. I want to relax and avoid ALL confrontations that I can avoid. 

 

As someone else said - if you hear a girl say she's the "bread winner" of the family then run. It might take a lot of work, but seek out an orphan girl or one who's an only child and who's parents are dead = no baggage.

So many guys promise love just to get into a girls' pants then dump them once they get what they want. So regardless of anything else, be honest about your intentions. You'd be surprised just how far frankness and honesty goes with the girls there. 

[RBM]

Interesting reading some of these replys as my experience is different.

First if your interested to scuba as I am there will be ample opportunity to meet girls. I just returned from a wonderful 5 days diving on Siquijor and assure you many girls from middle class families available.

During the few years after breaking with my ex GF I was dating constantly, honestly cannot remember ever being asked for money at any time. Of course these dates were casual and not long lasting, , some intimate  so easy not but no asking for money, not even jeep money.

I was at that time living in Cebu and attitudes there seem to be some what more liberal. 

 

 

 

[Dave Hounddriver]

3 minutes ago, RBM said:

I was dating constantly, honestly cannot remember ever being asked for money at any time.

I agree it is not as common as some imply.  Were you dating girls you met online?  I ask because anyone I met online seemed twice as likely to ask for money for the family whereas ladies I met in casual situations almost never asked, except to ask for a little money for their own necessities like load and jeepney etc.